Goddess of Marriage - Episode 28 (KimJiCap)

kakashi: People, I think I'm at the right level of inebriation to power through this ... Goddess of Marriage, ftw!
JoAnne: I think 'FTW' now must mean something that starts with bad language and ends with Tae Wook. Or starts with fine and ends with Tae Wook. Or it could be a rallying cry: Free Tae Wook! Take your pick.
kakashi: In fact, it means "Forever Tae-wook". I'm a romantic. Sometimes....
Kim Ji-hoon, may I call you "oppa"? 
He doesn't seem to want that ...
kakashi: This episode made me cry! Because ... the quality of the subs was so terrible (In truth, I cried because everyone was so sad. But I don't like to admit that).
JoAnne: I was going to say that you cried because you were drinking but you were drinking when you wrote this, not when you watched this. Well, maybe not when you watched this. When did you watch this? Was Lafer involved? You guys had so much fun...did it make up for the sadness of Tae Wook?
kakashi: Oh yes, I was drinking when I wrote this, because I write this while I watch this. And I was all alone ... I would never have dared to watch this with Lafer. You know how she hates Tae-wook. I cannot take it.

Episode 28

kakashi: Points for the Sourpuss for telling Tae-wook she is not coming home!! He doesn't take her seriously at first, but she tells him about the phone call from the MILDragon. Chagrined, he says he'll apologize for his mother. Yeah, nice try ... But Sourpuss is too afraid of that terrible person. Like for realz.
JoAnne: I'm STILL laughing over 'You have to come home! There's no one to wait on me!' Uhhhh, no one except the houseful of servants, you mean? I am proud of Ji Hye for sticking to her guns there, though.
kakashi: "So, what about meeeeee?" Prosecutor Baby whines .... is she really thinking about divorcing him?! Doesn't she know? Divorce: absolutely not allowed. This kind of separation: totally unacceptable. Houseslave ... back to the kitchen!
JoAnne: I'd say he was breastfed too long but that's not his problem. His problem is that he fails to realize other people are real. He is his mother's son, after all.
kakashi: He wasn't breastfed AT ALL, JoAnne, and that is his problem.
kakashi: Then what? the wife wants to know. Is he asking her to go back into hell? He isn't there half the time and when he is, he is so exhausted he only sleeps before he goes back out right again. (Yeah ... he told you so, though. When you were walking along that lake. I remember that. And you said that you want time for yourself anyway, so it's perfect. Just saying). (Oh come on, that's not fair. She could not have had a single clue what that life was going to be like. To be fair, he probably didn't, either.) And now that the SIL is gone, she will be alone with the Dragon. She has no friends, no hobbies, just housework all day long. She says he doesn't even try to understand her and constantly forces his own thoughts on her. He is just as bad as his mother (oh man ... but SO much prettier).
JoAnne: I'm not being funny, am I. These people are trying my SOUL, Kakashi.
kakashi: When you stop being funny, things are really bad. Like REALLY.
kakashi: And in his stupid, insecure way, he goes: "So you're seeking comfort elsewhere?" When she wants to know what he's talking about, he simply refuses to say anything more (BLEH! KDrama people and their lack of communication! Boo!)
JoAnne: I hear you, sister. Can I get an 'Aigoo!' from the congregation? Hey, Writer-nim! Where's our ab-solution? There is nothing a naked torso can't improve. She should have just said yes, from my FAMILY. But no one actually talks.
kakashi: He says fine, she'll get one more week then. One week. That is it (You nasty piece of fine ass you! Btw, at this point, I totally ship these two in real life. I imagine how they do internet shopping together. One thing leads to another and .... cuuuuuuute!) 
JoAnne: Here's where I laugh at your bossy ass and ask if one week is enough time for you to fix your fucked up family so I can come and have sexy times with you, Tae Wook. Because you can have more than a week if you need it. (Psst...I think you need it.)
kakashi: After much lengthy hullabaloo with the other couples and non-couples (see below for some details), her sister tells her that she understands her feelings, but that she also thinks she should return to the Dragon's lair. Cause this kind of separation from a husband ... not so good.
JoAnne: Well she's right, to a point, but I don't think Ji Hye has shared her intentions yet. Oh wait, no, she did. Err...or was that a time before this?

kakashi: And ... CUT to the Family from Hell (minus the Patron, cause he has lost his appetite). Tae-wook tells his mother that Ji-hye will return in a week because she is busy with wedding preparations for her niece. His mother (who is being totally understanding and rather nice today!) says, fine, fine, you don't need to make up stories, she wants to rest more, so let her rest. But not more than a week!
JoAnne: Every time they show us this table there are fewer people at it and I laugh and laugh and laugh.
kakashi: But now, shit starts hitting the fan. Uncle Tae-wook thinks he has to do something for the horrible niece, so he is going to pay for her wedding dress - if only to prove that he and Ji-hye have some relationship. Alrighty, he tells Ji-hye to go get it and wait there for him. He will buy dinner for the niece and groom (when will he get a make-over?!). Before he hangs up he says that it is hard to live with a woman like her. And she thanks him for being honest. Well, it's about to get MUCH harder, dear Prosecutor.
JoAnne: I see that trainwreck coming, but I just cannot close my eyes.
kakashi: Ji-hye walks into a wedding shop that we all know really well .... oh yes, it's The Annoyance's! Who is so shocked to see Ji-hye there, she drops the dog food. 
JoAnne: To which I call bullshit. If she's the wedding dress purveyor of choice in Cheongdam-dong, then she knew exactly who was scheduled for a viewing in her shop, and exactly who he is married to, and exactly who that wife slept with before she got married.
kakashi: Right. This additional "conflict" was just sooooooooooo stupid. This writer should be punished. I.e., she should be forced to live in a family like the Kangs and look at this face of The Annoyance all day and all night long.
kakashi: Dear Ji-hye doesn't get that something is wrong and chats amiably about her own dog and how he eats rice and ramen and left-over peaches. Wow. These two? Best friends in another universe. You know what? Just swap partners! The two women can be together and the two men can be together. Awesome. At least until The Snore steps in ... boom. Explosion. Dead people. Not really, but that would have been great.
JoAnne: She was particularly charming, and GodIWishYouWereDead Girlfriend was pretty subdued... I know she was meant to appear comatose with shock but really, in their conversation, she was just normal. Although I do like the idea of the couple swap with the same-sex twist...although I don't think that's actually what you intended.
kakashi: The Annoyance tells him to sit down while she gets some tea ... it's a bit awkward between the two wanna-be-lovers to say the least, and Ji-hye, not to her pleasure, finds out that he is marrying The Annoyance. For which he apologizes. lol. Upon which ... Prosecutor Hotness comes in. Oupsie. This is not what it looks like, darling!
JoAnne: Oh come ON. This fake-ass, contrived problem just pissed me way the hell off. Ji Hye didn't pick the shop, she was sent there by you, Tae Wook. Ok, I get that it's unexpected and unsettling to walk in and see them together, but it becomes apparent IMMEDIATELY that he's connected to the owner of the shop and that they are just as uncomfortable as you are, so let your man-parts drop down out of your abdominal cavity, and back the hell OFF.
kakashi: He is not having a good day, JoAnne. Heck, he is not having a good year. Cut him some slack. What he has, though, is one good hair day after the other.
kakashi: Ji-hye ..... RUN! It's mean Tae-wook!
JoAnne: Did you see those shoes? Girl ain't runnin' NOwhere.
kakashi: Well .... remember? SHE did! Ji-hye can do it too!

kakashi: Showdown at the Han river. Tae-wook is about to explode from rage and jealousy. She wants to talk about things but he SO does NOT want to talk. He feels the urge to beat The Snore to death and would gladly go to prison for it. She implores him to ask her about this whole thing.
JoAnne: Lafer is going to be very uncharitable about this. Perhaps it's a good thing that she's hanging out in Le Marais in a cute miniature apartment sipping wine with LaferSis and tripping up fancy lacquered stairs or taking contortionist showers in a doll-house bathroom, because she has bad internet right now. Maybe she won't notice what a complete ASS Tae Wook has become.
kakashi: Alright, then he DOES ask ... has she been fooling around? No, she says. But he still says he isn't asking (even though he just asked) because he doesn't want to hear her white wash things. So even though he is very curious, he cannot ask.
JoAnne: Are you twelve, Tae Wook? What will you do next? Send her a mean note and trip her on the stairs? 
kakashi: He is SO twelve. But that's SO not appropriate. Look at his body!
kakashi: That person gave up on her a long time before she and Tae-wook got married, Ji-hye says. Baaaaaaaad move, girl! Don't poke the tiger!!! He hasn't asked! he screams, and she says, she is also bewildered by meeting this other guy again and again.
JoAnne: I thought she said SHE gave up on that person a long time before they got married. Because the other way, that's just a damn stupid thing to say. 'Oh Honey, you have nothing to worry about. He dumped me a long time ago, so I've been faithful to you ever since.' Your way kind of ups the drama, I think.
kakashi: That next bit is actually really sad. But maybe only for Tae-wook lovers like me ... her not coming back to him ... is this related to this matter? he asks. Is she wavering? She is totally surprised and even insulted by his question. Which, to be honest, is a bit naive, dear Sourpuss. Because, seriously, we've also seen you mope and flashback etc. etc. - and now, all of a sudden, this was never about Mr Mopey aka The Snore? Either you're lying to yourself - or this writer really doesn't know her trade.
JoAnne: No, I get it. She didn't leave him for Warm Up Oppa, she sincerely pushed the guy away at every opportunity, and moping aside... she was sticking to that marriage. He's NOT the reason she's leaving. So I can see that she would be insulted, after putting up with all the crap, to be accused of cheating.
kakashi: Sure, but why is this writer trying to tell it that it is, after all, still about the Warm Up Oppa?!
kakashi: "In this last year", Tae-wook says with tears in his eyes, "you were never fully my woman. Not even for a moment. In a corner of your mind, you kept that guy, to look at him whenever you wanted to, while I was left in solitude". But instead of realizing what it was, he comforted her and endured her moods, thinking it was his mother, because she wanted to write, etc. But that's not what it was.
JoAnne: And I call bullshit again, because he knew exactly what the deal was over that guy even if he didn't want to admit it to himself, and if they'd had a good marriage, she'd have forgotten about him pretty damn quick, you know. Being unhappy allowed her to hold on to that fairy tale memory. Now, you can also make an argument that because she held on to that memory, she felt the hardships more and was less inclined to forgive Tae Wook for his fam....hahahahaha no. That family is a pack of loony-tunes vipers and she could have been so in love with Tae Wook that she honestly believed his dick was dipped in gold (or chocolate, hell, raspberry JAM. Take your pick.) and she STILL would have been miserable.
kakashi: So he is asking her (ah! finally, you're asking!): what is the real reason she isn't home with him? She is crying and says: "I'm surprised you shut your eyes to it". "I also didn't want to deal with it", he says ... "So come back". *sniff, sniff* kakashi is crying - JoAnne, say something funny!!!
JoAnne: I was waiting for his mother to call and interrupt them with demands for sliced pineapple or something. I refuse to drink the kool-aid: their problem is not that she never forgot about Warm Up Oppa. Their problem is his insane family. Get rid of that family and Warm Up Oppa will disappear in a haze of happy sex sounds.
kakashi: Let's write this writer a letter. Somebody is lying here.
They all cry (or kinda) and I cry with them (cause I've got something in my eye):
Please be happy again soon, people. Please.
JoAnne: No. I'mma slap every one of you. You were all warned that this is how it would be, and now this is how it is, and you do not get to cry.
kakashi: Oh, okay, I'm in! Slapfest!!!

The Rest

kakashi: There is a LOT of NewBiatch in this episode, which is fine with me, as long as she makes the Kang family reel and falter. And she does! The Patron has rage attacks (cause she wants to become Vice President of the whole conglomerate), the MILDragon tries to prevent the expensive china from being smashed ...
JoAnne: I cannot wait to learn what she's holding over their heads that we don't know yet.
kakashi: Unless she doesn't take them ALL down in order to get Da Power over the company. Can't be sure with her.
... and NewBiatch conveniently meets with the divorced douchebag prosecutor (aka Tail Prosecutor) in the organic market. You soooo planned this, SIL! Oh, this is great!!
JoAnne: She is my new best friend. And I think Tail Dude knows exactly what she's doing, but he's good with it. Maybe they'll end up together. 
kakashi: He is certainly giving her the lusty eye.

kakashi: And at the very end of this episode, it looks as if DickBrother has to go to jail after all. Cause all things considered, this will cost the Patron far less than what could come his way if NewBiatch extends her claws even further. Well done, you people.
JoAnne: I am SO FREAKING HAPPY about this. He is gonna be someone's prison bitch in about 30 seconds flat.
kakashi: Anything you want to say about the others, JoAnne? *yawn* Only thing I am puzzled about ... where is Mansized Jaejoong? Why do we have to see this stupid ApeShitHusband again?? He is such a disgusting idiot. ExDoormat tells him he'll get the divorce papers from her next - I hope she follows up on that!
JoAnne: Not really. But remember last week when I said that formerly evil MIL was confusingly really nice now? I take it ALL back. And I'm really frustrated by AnchorDick because he seems to get it, sort of...but then he just reverts back to ugly buffoon, and it's all lost. I half think he was genuinely surprised by the terrible results of his sneak attack on the family meeting dinner, though. I hope Mansized JaeJoong comes back. And how can that Chairwoman not see right through that awful girl? But I did think she'd like her mom.
kakashi: The Chairwoman isn't even trying to see through her, because her beloved Doormat said she's good. Oh dear. Everybody is so doomed in the GoM Universe...

And Then Some

kakashi: Poor Tae-wook. Yes, I'm going to say it again: poor Tae-wook! He really thought he could make this work. He really thought it would be enough if he just loved her strongly enough. What a rude awakening! Well, I guess the mother, the not being able to write, etc. were all reasons to hate her circumstances ... but both now have to admit that the real issue is not that. The real issue is with the heart - which isn't in it on her part. That's just so miserable.
JoAnne: I agree that the deeper issue is that her heart isn't in it, but at this point I have to say that the reason for that is NOT Warm Up Oppa, so I reject your argument.
kakashi: It is NOT my argument. It's the writer that explains it such! How am I to blame for this mess?! Anyway, here is a happy picture from one of the upcoming episodes, when they attend a marriage together.
kakashi: Apart from making me sad and miserable, this episode was also very satisfactory. Take this, assholes! You're going doooooooown!
JoAnne: I do love that part.
kakashi: Tae-wook, living in poverty, in a hut! Without a shirt because he cannot afford one! Etc.

And Finally

It is about time to picture our boy in his next project. So ... what about being the next Vampire Prosecutor, Kim Ji-hoon? I hear Yeon Jung-hoon doesn't want to do it anymore. You would be AWESOME! Here is the proof (vamp shirt, guyliner, incredible handsomeness): 
JoAnne: My skin is very pale, Kim Ji Hoon. You can see my veins very easily. I had a boyfriend who used to like to trace them all over. You can do that too, but don't tell Kakashi.