24 February 2014


Boys before Friends - Episode 6 (yes, they actually posted it!)

Posted by Kakashi Sensei on February 24, 2014
kakashi: The "hostage episode" has been released and $846 of $100,000 or $250,000 (depending on what paragraph you read) have been fund-raised. Frankly, I do not understand why people do not donate more, cause the awards you get for it? Stellar.
JoAnne: I'm looking for the option where they pay ME for having paid attention at all.

$5: Name in the credits as an episode sponsor. Claimed once. Alternatively, the cast will wish you good karma through the BbF website. Surprisingly, this has been claimed zero times.
JoAnne: Anything they wished you would come late, look ridiculous, and not work as promised.
Be careful what you say: they are now suing people.  
$10: Have your name whispered by a cast member of your choice. This has been claimed once, so I'll pay VERY CLOSE attention to catch that name in this episode, alright?
bcook: Closer than you have already? Sound is still bad and since the video isn't on viki anymore...no more subs. Anybody else have problems with the video? I know my internet is not that crappy. 
JoAnne: No problems with the video at all; I thought they had some sporadic sound issues, but it wasn't throughout.
kakashi: Definitely no name that was whispered. Maybe that'll happen in 7. If.

kakashi: There's some really boring things like T-Shirts and CDs and DVDs to be had for $25, $50, and $100, but be an extra for $150 sounds intriguing! I'm sure the makers of this are really glad nobody wants to do that because it would actually mean they had to write a scene with extras. And blow their whole current budget.
JoAnne: If this is a legit production, you have to be a member of Equity to appear, right? Who pays for that.
kakashi: For $250, a character will be named after you. Huh. Wow. But it gets better: you can chat to the BbF makers and the cast for $500!!!! And if you're completely insane and spend $1000 you get to write a scene. Yes! You do work for them and PAY for it. For $1500 you get to say at least three lines in an episode. And the absolute winner is ... the person who pays $2500 and then gets to eat DINNER with this bunch of losers. At least, you'll be invited. How generous.
JoAnne: I still wonder what they'd serve for dinner and if they'd expect you to pay for your own. If they can't finish the drama, how do they have money to throw around on big dinners?
bcook: why pay $500 when you can chat with most of the cast on twitter for free? This was not well thought out. How about they pay ME $1000 to write a scene. Maybe I can do better.

kakashi: Anyway, it seems they will stop filming after 7, if they even do 7. I'm going to enjoy this one. As much as I can.
bcook: I thought they only had money for 6?!
JoAnne: They have 846.00.

Episode 6

kakashi: Who remember what happened so far? Nobody? Nah, me neither, but since nothing happened, that doesn't matter at all. The video starts with a message that everybody is missing Jacob and is waiting for his return (I consult the BbF website and he seems to be the Assistant Director / Production Assistant). Not sure what happened to him, but whatever it is, I'm sorry ... for everything, cause they can't even cut a rerun right.
bcook: I don't think he'll be that missed since this is the last episode EVER! *fireworks* right? Right?!
JoAnne: Perhaps Jacob was the circumstance of which they spoke.

kakashi: The "friends" are still watching movies. Wow. For a whole two weeks? No wonder they look trashed. Zoey is leaning against Liam's shoulder. Sure. And he is fondling her hair. Suuuuuuure. Pointless dialogue among the others. Yawn. Oh, look who's at the door ... it's Oliver, the sleeping pill!
bcook: Who's Oliver?
JoAnne: The guy who's supposed to be Kim Hyun Joong.  I want to know how come Chase didn't notice that Piper left, but everyone else knows she's in bed, sleeping.
kakashi: bcook, pay attention! 
kakashi: Liam gets very, very angry and screams "get your hands off my girlfriend!" - because Oliver and Zoey hug at the door. But that rage only lasts for about 10 seconds, because then, the two "men" have a very soft conversation at the door. Everybody is really surprised Oliver is back. And everybody is BESTESTEST of friends.
JoAnne: Perhaps he was only screaming inside his head. Like me.
bcook:  I had to pause for a bit coz I couldn't hear the conversation over my laughter. I'm pretty sure new Liam smiled at Oliver right after he said that. They must be dating in real life. I will give one non-existent poster of taeyang to the person who can tell me what they were talking about at the door.
JoAnne:  Liam wanted to know how Oliver knew to come there and he said he went to Liam's place and 'Jacob' told him they were all at Zoey's, so he came to be with his friends (oh, maybe Jacob gave money! He got to be a character in the show!!! $250). Never mind that Zoey moved after he left, so he wouldn't know where that was. Or use a cell phone to call anyone. Or explain who Jacob is. I'll be waiting for that poster. It had best be one with a mohawk.
kakashi: Yes, bcook, that's what they said. She gets your poster. Sorry. 
kakashi: Oliver squeezes in between Zoey and Liam and puts HIS arm around Zoey. Liam is jealous. Everybody makes fun of him. He sulks and looks like 10, not 12, as usual.
kakashi: Random LA pictures follow. Yes, the ones we have seen 1000times before.
bcook: They actually make LA look nice. Nothing like my impression of the city when I visited. (Mostly highways and lots palm trees)

kakashi: Yawn. Sorry, it's really late here and this ... anyway, the girls chat about Zoey's impressions of Liam. She doesn't like him (Suuuuuure), but she admits he's cute. They also talk about Chase and Noah. Oh, and then, they talk about Carter - that's Piper's mean ex. These dialogues are not really written down, are they? I can't believe I'm recapping this shit as if it mattered. And these people also all talk at the same time. Piper can't remember her lines. Hey, but at least we hear what they're saying! The dog runs out with them when they leave the apartment even though that didn't seem planned, considering Chloe's surprised giggles.
bcook: What's with the cupcake innuendos? And how come Piper told Chase she got dumped but didn't tell her girlfriends? Why am I asking like I care?  
JoAnne: They have gotten better - which makes sense, what with all the opportunities to practice - at going with a mistake and making it part of the scene.   The cupcake innuendos are because Piper has a cupcake business. She told Chase because it furthered their plot line in the eyes of the writer.
kakashi: Yeah, harhar, "did he buttter your cups?" harhar
kakashi: Random LA pics! Some are new! And random kids dancing. Huh? Is it a dance school? I remember something about this ... vaguely. Anyway, Liam is there, with coffee for Zoey. She doesn't remember she told him to meet her there. Liam joins the dance class. Are these kids sponsors, maybe? They get to do some dance skits. More Zoey-instructions follow. At one point, Liam goes and talks to a boy who doesn't dance with them, but, oh well, the music is a "bit" loud so we lose out on this certainly VERY important dialogue. 
JoAnne: Whatever, the kids were cute.
bcook:........ That girl in the purple top thinks she's the shit. She's certainly better then the"teacher". Who's kids are these?
kakashi: Chase is "helping" Piper again and wants to know all about Carter. Oh PLEASE girl, learn your LINES! that's already it, though, on to some more LA pictures, this time by night.
JoAnne: But only the departed were unprofessional and didn't know their lines, everyone is part of The Family and wouldn't dream of not being professional at all in any way. I laughed at the studio because Zoey starts the day in lavender, switches out randomly to coral, then ends the day back in lavender.

kakashi: Chloe and Noah are at a club and "shout" because of the music - that isn't there, unfortunately. I mean there IS music, but there was clearly none when they were filmed. They agree to play basketball together.
JoAnne: I also laughed at the non-existent music.  When you think about that plus the same-room phone calls, it's really very funny.
kakashi: Zoey and Liam discuss "the kids". They seem terrible awkward with each other, these two actors. (Maybe because he's twelve?) She asks where Oliver is and I get from this conversation that we have gone through a time-jump without even noticing. Oh dear ... there's a scene with a kid, which ... sigh. Nothing against the kid. But ...
bcook:  That kid looks like he's plotting murder. Bloody, messy, violent murder. Piper has amazing collar bones. I'm quite jealous.
JoAnne: Two weeks! Two precious weeks of watching random people do random things! Gone from us so coldly! That kid was terrible. It's ok that he was terrible because he's a kid but hey, perhaps they should have used a different kid since they had  PLENTY OF TIME to look for one.
kakashi: At the club again - this time it's Oliver and Zoey. She says the line is "so long", but the club is clearly empty. He wants to know what's with her and Liam, she says they're just friends. And she says that "they've been through a lot". Huh? Off-screen?
bcook:  In their defense (I can't believe I said this) I have stood in line for a club in NYC and been sooo disappointed to get in to see the 20 people that got in before me.
JoAnne: Well you know, he did dye her green: she's thrown up on him, they've shared clothing, he learned how to make soup for her...sort of.
kakashi: There's music and we see that the couples have grown closer. The only one getting close to two boys is Zoey. She is entertaining both Oliver AND Liam on her couch.
bcook: OMG is Chase trying to design a cake? Vaguely Asian dude...*whispers* call me *wink*
JoAnne: He is cute.

kakashi: We're then at that club again. All girls are on stage, having fun. Then the boys. And then all of them. It's still the same OST song and there's no dialogue. I think that's a good idea. Zoey looks straight at the camera a few times.
kakashi: Sometime later, Carter comes by. OMG is he a sponsor???! Good heavens man! Where did they find you?  What the F*** is going on with his HAIR? He is here because he wants Piper to marry him. This is SOOOOooooo Baaaaaaad, everything, the acting, the editing. oh just END this already. Piper is having fun with Chase in the meantime, somewhere on a rooftop. Background noise, people. Just stop filming outside if you cannot do it, thanks. I cannot hear what she is saying, but I've long since stopped caring.
JoAnne: Oh, Carter. Bad. Bad, bad, bad.

kakashi: When Chase finally gets his chance and takes her hand, Carter turns up. While the background noises wax and wane, Carter proposes to Piper in front of Chase. Piper says yes, yes, yeah of course. Awwwwwwwwww. Poor Chase.
bcook:  Erm Piper...This is the guy who dumped you via text. You don't get any douchier than that.
JoAnne: Carter watches Chase as he proposes to Piper, and then once she accepts, he tries to smother her. I do believe that Carter might have a secret.
kakashi: What? He's pregnant?
kakashi: More Liam and Zoey at the dance school. Will we not see her dance? Such a disappointment ... He tells her again about how awful his youth was. Hint, hint. As the sound comes and goes and this Liam-guy is so shy he can barely look at her, he wants to take her to dinner, but she claims she hasn't seen her friends "all summer" and it's girls' night. Now ... another time-jump?! Because they've seen each other all the time.  
bcook:  I...I can't. I just can't.
JoAnne: She leaves the studio and when enough time has passed that she should be half way to the car, he whispers that they should do SOMETHING together, and immediately off camera she says 'like what?'  LIKE QUIT THIS ABORTION, ZOEY.
kakashi: LA at night again. Cool, this time, the cars run backwards. I love variations like that. The girls are at home, at the most boring girls' night ever. Are they supposed to be a little tipsy? They talk about Chase (and Piper), Noah (and Chloe), Zoey (and Liam). Seriously. When the girls screech, the poor microphone almost explodes. Zoey drunk-texts him.
bcook: *does her taxes*
JoAnne: I noticed the cars, too, LOL

kakashi: The girls go a little "crazy". Off screen, though.
JoAnne: Clearly, I have been doing girls night wrong.
kakashi: The next morning, somebody is at the door. The acting has never been worse - and that means something. Piper crawls to the door - maybe she is hoping to get cast in a zombie movie next? She opens the door ... it's the boys. They're there to pick up the girls ... they're going to Vegas, baby! (uhm ... with what budget??!!)
bcook: Is this even following the same storyline as the korean/japanese version?
JoAnne: No, this is an adaptation, which means the only thing they share in common is 4 rich boys and the same words in the titles.
kakashi: Wow. Just wow. 


kakashi: None.
bcook: There must be something you have to say! *awkward silence* Wanna see my new nail polish?
JoAnne:  Well, on the bright side, we'll probably never have to do this again.
Name in the credits as an episode sponsor
Name in the credits as an episode sponsor

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