03 April 2014

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Bride Of The Century Episode 11 (A SqueeCap)

Posted by CM Shukmeister on April 03, 2014
Shuk:  Oh snap, the switcheroo is done, and all we've got left is the fallout.  Can our hero make things right? He has to figure out what's wrong first.
JoAnne: Much like Kang Ju, when I was commenting on 12 earlier, I felt like something wasn't quite right.  Now I know it was this, which didn't happen in my world.  I have backed up and started over, though, so the earth continues to turn as expected.
EPISODE 11

Shuk:  JangBitch smiles at FirstBorn as greets her at the hospital elevator.  He looks relieved; he was worried her mom might hide her away.  She coyly responds that they can always run away together, and I have to swallow convulsively to avoid my gag reflex.  So far, she’s fooled him for 10 seconds, but her smirky smirking is already getting on my nerves.
JoAnne: I want to slap her so hard that all the teeth in her mouth move to one side and stay that way.

Shuk: ChoiMother is outside the room with an ordinary-coiffed IdolBoy. Does GDragon dye his hair a normal color in between all cosmetology craziness? Anyway, the pair step into the hospital room together, Mom looking at them.  Does she already think a personality transplant has happened?  JB is clearly more polar bear than teddy bear.  But Mom could still be pissed at the elopement.
JoAnne: Yes, because then no one knows who he is. Why isn't there an explanation for why this kid is suddenly black-haired and suited up? Or is it just understand that one dresses more formally for death bed vigils? I didn't even know who he was when I was watching it at first, and then again just now I was like, huh, who's that guy in the picture?

Shuk:  IdolBoy contacts Flunkette and tells her the couple is back.
JoAnne: Fulfilling his entire purpose for being in the drama.  Seriously, why did Kang Ju need a brother?
Shuk:  In the hospital room, The Root of All Evil asks FirstBorn to step out so she can talk to her great-granddaughter personally.  Clearly, JB doesn’t want to touch the ancient papery skin of her hand, and does so gingerly.  The Root says she has something to tell her.
JoAnne: She continues in her thin, weak voice:  I was once like you...I am not Choi Mother's mother. I am...Kang Ju's first wife! Turns out there really isn't a curse, he's just a major horn dog and wears out his women rapidly. No, I'm kidding.  

Shuk: Outside the room, Kang-ju and Mom talk. He apologizes for his shotgun-relationship, and hopes that she accepts his bride.  JangMa shows up at the hospital, and the bullshit continues.
JoAnne: Speaking of bullshit, this is a good time for a break.

Shuk:  JangMa and JB leave together, along with their driver, and FirstBorn reacts to passing the first gauntlet with a little eye-rolling.  He gets a call from Cookie, who is with his Mouse at the restaurant.  He’s a bit jealous that she wanted to know his boss’ location, and gets shoulder-smacked for his pain.  She steps away, but both Bubbles and JangOppa are incommunicado.

Shuk:  ChoiMother thinks about what her son said to her as Flunkette greets her at the hospital.  Ooh, is she gonna tell her about the doppelgangers?

Shuk:  Our two sides of the Evil Asshole coin, JB and JangMa, arrive at the house. JangOppa is closely following them, but when they get out of the car, he follows the driver.

Shuk:  FirstBorn shows up to JangHouse all cleaned up and bearing flowers for his mother-in-law.  She plays affronted mom (blech), but accepts the flowers and promises a happy life for her daughter. She hands her off, and the deed is done.
JoAnne: Pay attention to those flowers.  And those two women are just horrible.

Shuk: It’s now dark, and Bubbles has been handed off to some thugs at a junkyard. JangOppa hops the gate (not without noise; let’s face it, sleuthiness is not his forte).  Inside a garage, he finds Bubbles wrapped in shipping tape.  It miraculously falls from her hair as he begins to untie her.  She’s pretty banged up though (I wonder what happened), and he uses her gift tie to wrapped her bleeding leg.   But before they can do much more than that, the thugs show up with pipes and sticks.
JoAnne:  I guess her awesome martial arts skills only work in Namhae. I'm guessing there was a fight but the scene got cut?
Shuk: [shrug] I'm guessing.  She certainly wasn't bloodied when she got in the car.

Shuk:  Bubbles, for some reason, goes into helpless damsel mode, and more or less watches as JangOppa gets pummeled into oblivion, culminating in several blows to his back and head as he crouches over her useless, prone body.
JoAnne: Closest he's ever gonna get Poor OppaNotOppa.
Shuk:  It looks like the end for the two, when giant eagles swoop down and rescue them.  Wait, oops, LOTR flashback.  But something almost as improbable; another gang of black-suited goons shows up, and the original thugs scatter.  Is it HwangBang?  I frantically search, but Mo is not among them.
JoAnne: Turns out, Mo is Doo Rim's great great grandfather. It's where her awesome fighting skills came from.

Shuk:  Everyone at JangHouse is sipping wine, the two harpies smirking at each other as FirstBorn drinks his glass.  JangMa gets an alarming telephone call and leaves the pair. She grabs her coat and hurries out.
Shuk:  Outside the surgical suite, goons are posted everywhere as Bubbles sits on a plastic chair, holding the bloodied tie and crying.  She goes back to all their interactions, including his confession and promise to wait for her.  JangMa dresses down her driver in the hospital for bunging things up, wondering what happened at the junkyard?
JoAnne: Where are the POLICE?
Shuk:  It turns out those additional goons were ChoiMother’s sent after she heard the story from Flunkette.   And she tells all to JangMa, and proves it by speaking with JB on speaker phone while within eyesight of Bubbles. JangMa’s wide-eyed “OhShit” look is wonderful to see.
JoAnne: This was a glorious moment, indeed.
Shuk:  The two moms sit to have it out, both admitting their respective schemes.  ChoiMother tells her to back off, and gives her until tomorrow.  But Wait!  There’s more!  Oh crap, apparently, The Root of All Evil And Destruction gave a deathbed confession to JangBitch, which she thoughtfully recorded.
JoAnne: Oooooooof course she did.  And now along with wondering where are the POLICE, I'm wondering how come they're not still at the hospital while OppaNotOppa is undergoing life-saving surgery?
Shuk:  It turns out the The Root did run over Wifey#1 so her daughter could have ChoiDad. She also ripped the last pages of her diary out, because she wrote that the curse was clearly bogus.  She also gave JB the ripped out pages from the diary. Crapcrapcrap now the Jangs have the upper hand.  She tosses the diary pages to ChoiMother and tells her that her daughter will remain with the Choi family.
JoAnne: Fine, says Choi Mother with an enigmatic smile.  I hope she likes my cooking...I'd hate for her to fall ill.  No?  What if I say please?

Shuk:  FirstBorn and JB are strolling outside JangHouse, and he feels that they have weathered a storm.  He was more worried about her hyung than her mom; Yi-hyun always looked at Kang-ju as some type of prey animal. By the way, where is Jang Yi-hyun?  He tells her that he would like to have drinks with his new brother-in-law, and takes her hand.  Wow, all her callouses are gone!  She covers that she had a hand job at the Nail Shop down the street, and nervously pulls her hand away.  She stays; he goes.
JoAnne: I wonder what diagnosis Monkey Boy would give HER.
Shuk:  Mouse makes it to the hospital and comforts Bubbles, who is alone when the surgeons come out.  So, his own family left him alone there – double assholes on them.  The medical team has done all they could; now it’s just a waiting game.  Bubbles breaks down.
JoAnne: Dang are they gonna KILL Oppa?
Shuk:  ChoiMother matches the torn pages to the diary she’s kept hidden all these years and cries.  It really is ironic that her mother gave away the ammunition that’s gonna ruin her family and destroy her son’s happiness.  Always be careful when the family Karma runs you down.
JoAnne: Still waiting for Namhae Granny's role in this.

Shuk:  The servants effusively great the new married master back to the house, while Mom watches sadly from a hanok porch.  He heads straight to his dad first, who gives him the happy smile of approval.
JoAnne: Yes, yes, whatever.

Shuk:  JangBitch is floored to find out her Oppa was badly hurt and wants to rush to the hospital, but JangMa stops her in her tracks.  Doo-rim is there, and besides, it’s his own dumb fault for getting in the middle.  Sacrifice is needed for their success.  Brrrr, her coldness could freeze vodka solid, and Yi-kyung is finally realizing this.
JoAnne: And suddenly Doo Rim is no longer a threat that must be neutralized? She's now just someone who can once again be used to do the things that his ACTUAL family should be doing?

Shuk: Doo-rim continues her lonely vigil next to an unconscious OppaNotOppa. She begs him to come back so she can tell him everything that’s happened.
JoAnne: Show, do not mess with our Oppa.

Shuk:  The next day, ChoiMother surrenders and JangMa immediately goes for the jugular:  Public acknowledgement of her daughter as the wife; all Choi shares in Jang’s construction company be remanded to her; all ChoiMother’s shares in TaeYang Corporation transferred to her daughter; pay for past and future investments in OhSung Construction; and, oh yeah, do something about the mess she made with ‘that girl’.
JoAnne:  The balls on this woman. I hope they make her daughter's life a living hell. Perhaps she could go train with this one MIL I know who likes to send her daughters in law out to buy fresh fish at 4 am.
Shuk:  Mouse is trying to get Doo-rim to eat something when JangOppa starts seizing. I won’t go into my annoyance with bedside behavior. ChoiMother shows up as Doo-rim cries for Oppa to wake up.  The two retire to the waiting room. 
JoAnne: You've been remarkably silent on the subject.
Shuk:  They've been decent with the other public safety stuff, so I'm biting my lip.

Shuk:  ChoiMother admits her mistake to Doo-rim, but says there’s nothing to be done. She needs to disappear from the Choi family for good, and in return she will protect her from the Kang family. Doo-rim counters that she doesn’t care about herself, but she wants justice for the man in the coma at the hospital. ChoiMother says this is impossible for someone as powerless as Doo-rim.
JoAnne: I was actually impressed when she admitted that she, too, was powerless.
Shuk:  Doo-rim wonders out loud why Kang-ju’s mother is allowing this to happen to her son, but she replies she doesn’t have the power to stop the Kangs either. It doesn’t matter anyway; Doo-rim is not an appropriate daughter-in-law and would never be accepted anyway. Bubbles sincerely tells her that she doesn’t want Kang-ju because he’s rich, and would be happier knowing he wasn’t a chaebol.  She had wished she was born into some lofty family but after all this, she is happy she wasn’t.  ChoiMother reiterates that she should vanish like the dead and never return.

Shuk: In her own mother’s room, ChoiMother cries for her mom’s actions, and apologizes for messing up her life. The Root also cries but can only apologize in her mind.
JoAnne: One thing I've noticed in KDrama is that people don't actually understand the mechanics of 'fault'.

Shuk: Grandma hands off a care package to Doo-rim so she can stay healthy while taking care of Yi-hyun. The medium sees her and marvels that she’s still alive.

Shuk: Doo-rim first visits JangMa, who offers to put her up as her stepson’s caretaker far far away and forever. Doo-rim calls her on it, but she’s quick to blame the girl, calling her greedy. Doo-rim agrees, but says the evilness of greed and the animalistic hunger for power are scarier than anything she’s ever faced. JangMa follows up with a threat against Grandma and Mouse if Doo-rim doesn’t comply. Doo-rim is compelled to ask that, at the cost of possibly her son’s life and the life of an innocent girl, what is the value of the gain? JangMa scoffs and said she’ll never understand. Doo-rim tells her stuff that fall on deaf ears, but states she will spend the rest of her life if needed to make it up to Jang Yi-Hyun.
JoAnne: Stay tuned for their spin off: Fish and The Vegetable

Shuk: FirstBorn and Smirky are at the mall together. They ride the escalator and he tucks back a strand of her hair before his eyes get caught on something. That something is Bubbles, who quickly turns away from the couple; and he loses interest. In her mind, she begs him to forget all about her, if that will make him happy. And with that, she hangs her couples ring on a tree display. Flunkette is right behind her, though, and sees her leave the ring.
JoAnne: Ooooof course she does.
Shuk: Flunkette meets up with Smirky and FirstBorn in his office and casually wonders where her ring is. And Yi-kyung is looking so pretty, she seems like a whole different woman. lol. Smirky gets it but FirstBorn doesn’t, but he’s puzzled. And Flunkette has the couples ring.
JoAnne: Oh do make her life hell, Flunkette, please? I will so change my tune on you!
Shuk: Kang-ju asks her where the ring is, and mentions that she’s been behaving strangely, but it’s Bubbles’ behavior – wasn’t she going to tell him something important. The thing I don’t understand, is, his fiancée couldn’t keep her hands off him before they were married; now she sits a safe chair length away. Why isn’t it clicking in his head? And it can’t be sex clouding his brain, because he hasn’t had any since the wedding night.
JoAnne: Perhaps he's afraid she wasn't impressed.  We certainly weren't.

Shuk: Doo-rim makes it back to the restaurant and begins prepping the ingredients, only to fall down sobbing while chopping onions. 

Shuk: Our rare medium is thinking “well done” as he chows down on some buffalo wings. The Lady shows up and snarks that no one has offered her food in a hundred years. You could have said something to FirstBorn, yunno. Anyways, he offers her a piece, but that’s not how it works. The Lady tells him the girl wasn’t able to overcome the reality of the curse, and the medium is upset that the false information will destroy his reputation. She disappears, and he whines for her promise to return. 
JoAnne: Do either of them even still matter?

Shuk: The newly married couple brings gifts the Choi seniors. ChoiDad is happy with his cardigan, but ChoiMother is understandably cool about her scarf. She retires to the kitchen to calm down with a glass of water, and JangBitch follows her. She warns the older woman not to make things difficult from here on out.
JoAnne: Oh girl, you are so going to die.  Help, help, she's choking on a peanut!  Oh my, how terrible, she slipped in a puddle left on that tile floor!  Oops, she fell in the koi pond!

Shuk: In Kang-ju's room, she wanders around like she’s never been there before. [cough cough]. Kang-ju smiles when he remembers the shenanigans with the fencing helmet and the column almost kiss. She claims she doesn’t remember so he presses her against the column and leans in for a kiss. She all but flinches away when they are interrupted by Ahjussi, who announces dinner and hotfoots it away. She uses this as an excuse to dart away, and he again looks puzzled. Please tell me all of these things are adding up in your head.
JoAnne: Sadly, no.

Shuk: After leaving the ChoiEstate, FirstBorn decides on some yummy p’macha street food, which, of course Bubbles taught him to love. JangBitch acts like it’s one step above a arsenic-poisoned dried persimmon.
JoAnne: Ok he should have called bullshit right here and not taken one step further.
Shuk: They end up on the bench at the playground, and he tells her this location had the most surprising moment between the two of them. Her face couldn’t be more blank if it was erased as he reminisced about the cosplaying sexy fiancée. FirstBorn keeps talking: she wore a big furry warm coat and had a strange thing on her head. She comes up with excuses that are clearly lies, but he seems unaware. He mentions that he bought her an organic mango cake, but she wouldn’t touch it because she was afraid it would mess up that furry coat. Oh yes!! He’s just laying out the rope! I knew he couldn’t be that much of an idiot. She states she ate it later.
JoAnne: OH THANK THE GODS OF ALL DRAMAS

Shuk: And the most important thing…. Kang-ju puts his arm on her neck and pulls her forward for a kiss, stopping mere centimeters from her lips. She’s got her eyes screwed shut and a Park Shin-hye expression when he pulls back, and finally asks, “Who are you?”
JoAnne: About fucking time, Kitten.
FINAL THOUGHTS

Shuk: Wow, an entire episode without our canon couple meeting, even once, and I didn’t feel bored. The whole twist-up with the mothers was great, but I’m sad to see that the creepiest McCreepy mother has the upper hand.
JoAnne: And apparently, she's the only TRUE bitch between the two of them.

Shuk: Now that Kang-ju is clearly suspicious and, Doo-rim is still in the city, I’m confident he can figure it out and find her. But, of course, with the threats against her beloved red-shoe-holding grandmother and her own guilty conscience, Doo-rim isn't going to make their reunion any easier.  But I have faith that our Kitten Prince can pull it off!
JoAnne: He might need some help. Just saying.

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