18 July 2014

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Fall in Love With (Both Of) Me - Episode 15 (A SqueeCap)

Posted by CM Shukmeister on July 18, 2014
Shuk:  Our PsychoFam is giddy with the idea of chaining their creative genius to a woman with the IQ of a walnut and a codependency coefficient that is off the chart.  Oh yeah, this will bring success to your company.  And your homelife.
JoAnne: Let's rename HuanHuan to HuwhineHuwhine, shall we?

SHUKNOTE: This week's feed could only be found with embedded Mandarin subtitles.


EPISODE 15

Shuk:  PsychoMom drops the big pile of wedding crap down in front of Chalk Girl.  Not only that, she invites her for a Gloating Bloating meal with her insufferable self and her idiotic daughter.  To her credit, Chalky handles it fairly well, even when Psycho rubs a little DorkSalt into her heart.
JoAnne: I had hope for the idiot child for a while, remember that?  But I think the writer changed their mind mid-paragraph and took her from someone who at least had an inkling that this wasn't the way you treat a loved one into someone who appears to have all the emotional control of a 2 year old.
 
Shuk: Outside, though, she confirms with Sexy that he is indeed slated to marry Whiny. He stops her from removing the bracelet key from around her neck, quietly asking her to go with him somewhere.  Which turns out to be under the Maishuaier (MacArthur 2nd) Bridge along the Keelung River. She articulates the sitch: he sold his body to the Psycho’s for her and her Podunk company.  She freaks out, not wanting him to sacrifice his happiness for her, yet wanting him to stay by her side forever. After all, whether SexyAdguy or Dork, she loves him.
JoAnne: And she says it like she's REMINDING him of that fact, and not like she'd been giving him the cold shoulder for however long we're supposed to think this has been.
 
Shuk: He stares into her eyes, and wishes he could be selfish enough to hug her and tell her how much he loves her.  He asks for her trust as they desperately grab on to each other.
JoAnne: So then...his wish came true? He can be selfish enough?
Shuk:  And in the Tian Xi Den of Evil, Toady tells Wang Chung to issue a press release on OZ’s ownership transfer and demolition. Um, since this is the only hold on your concubinus, is that really a good idea to render the company worthless before the nuptials? Wang Chung objects, but Toady steamrolls over them. Wang Chung states that clearly Tian Xi is going in a different path from him, and promptly resigns. Everybody Wang Chung tonight! Toady is left to run his fingers through his hair, incredulous at the lack of loyalty from our ex-Toady Jr.
JoAnne: Ting's WEI cooler than Lance.
Even the Dark Lord approves, Ting Wei.
Shuk:  At TaoHouse, Chalk Girl cries her heartbreak to Kitty, telling her about Tian Xing’s sacrifice. Kitty thinks they should throw caution to the wind, but Chalky doesn't want to cause any more hardship for Sexy.
JoAnne: Then tell him to let Oz stay dead, idiot.
 
Shuk:  PsychoDau is standing up before her bedroom mirror when PsychoBro walks in.  She rehashes her fears that her husband won’t love her, and Bro tells her to hold even more tightly. Yeah, like that works – try squeezing Jello. He wants to make the official announcement; that way, Tian Xing can’t back out. She smiles – it’s a perfect solution! [gagging noises]
JoAnne: yes, if by perfect you mean a marriage where your husband slowly grows to hate you and you have to spend your life confined to a wheel chair you don't actually need. Sounds like a party to me.

Shuk:  At TaoHouse, the OZGang strategizes to stay alive as TaoMom brings snacks for everyone.  Then, like a foghorn fart in church, or a bunch of cockroaches skittering across the floor of your favorite restaurant, the PsychoLi’s show up. Toady and Whiny ignore the hostility radiating from almost everyone, stating they have good news. Toady mentions Wang Chung’s resignation and migration to OZ. Mama Tao offers her magical touch, but Whiny panics and twists away, clearing showing that her legs are, in fact, working.
JoAnne: I so wish Mama Tao had called her on that right away.  Because Little Miss Fakes A Lot knew the jig was up right then, you could see it in her face.
Shuk:  Toady’s good news: a check for OZ’s portion of the snack advertising campaign, and wedding invitations. The pink bears are creepy.  Everyone not in the know looks on in shock, as Whiny continues with an offer to send everyone to an onsen for some hot springs action and a little chat with Chalky. WTF? Anyway, once they leave, Sexy confirms what Toady said.  And, driving back, Toady praises his sister for her actions.  I still don’t get it.
JoAnne: Because you are a decent person.
 
Shuk:  That night, TaoMom goes over Whiny’s reaction to her touch, until she is distracted by Chalk Girl.
JoAnne: You can replay it in your head a dozen times, lady. It won't change. You saw what you saw, it is what you think it is, and you need to SPEAK UP.

Shuk:  The next morning, OZGang is lined up and ready for the trip. Bangs is wondering if Helen is coming as well, and when Wang Chung says yes, he promises to keep Kitty from bullying him.  Kitty playfully paws WC instead. Sexy shows up with the Psychos.  Helen shows up a short time later in a crop top.  Bangs all but drops a wing and does a mating dance.
JoAnne:  *Yawns in Bangs face*
Shuk:  Chalk and Whiny are in the same pool, and Whiny goes on and on and on and on about how happy she is marrying Sexy, ending with asking for Chalky’s blessing.
JoAnne: Drown her. Just hold her down.  She's not that big. It won't be hard. Especially since her frigging mouth is always OPEN.
 
Shuk: Kitty and Wang Chung splash around. I won’t talk about Bangs because, ugh.
JoAnne: I have seen Chocolate Abs. I am a friend of Chocolate Abs. You, Sir, are no Chocolate Abs.
Shuk:  Later, Chalky and PD Leo watch Sexy servanting Whiny.  Our couple exchanges a distant glance that everyone catches.  Gimpy ends up with her brother under an umbrella while the rest horseplay with a croquet set.  She finally can’t stand it and goes for a solo stroll.
JoAnne: Solo roll.

Shuk:  Whiny is at a gift shop, and stands out of her wheelchair to reach a bottle of water about the time the OZGang snaps a selfie in the shop; she is clearly seen in the background of the shot. PD Leo notices after the fact that she managed to get an item off the top shelf and way out of a sitting person’s reach. Guess what??? He looks thoughtful!!!
JoAnne: #WhenAManIsTooThoughtful
 
Shuk:  The Psycho Sibs are done for the day as Toady puts Whiny to bed. (creepy) Sexy is nowhere to be seen.  Whiny sadly wishes that OZ never existed and would disappear, so Sexy will only pay attention to her.  Toady gets an evil look in his eye.

Shuk:  In the onsen lobby, SexyDorkHair and Wang Chung have a serious meetup.  Sexy asks WC if he is willing to protect OZ.  Ooh, is he gonna give WC all his TX shares?? That would be awesome!  Sadly, we don’t know what was said.
JoAnne: I'm pretty sure that wasn't it, though.
Shuk:  Sexy makes it to Whiny’s room, where PsychoBro chastises him, since she can’t sleep without seeing her stud first.  Toady and Sexy have a staredown hairdown, Upswept of Evil versus Bowl of Beauty.  Toady breaks the stare first, but after Sexy shuts the door, he pulls out a phone to tell someone to do a job for him.
JoAnne: Thank God you're so stupid, Lance.

Shuk:  It’s breakfast time, and Whiny is eating off of Sexy’s plate like her arms were broken. Chalk Girl gets a call that makes her face pale. Sexy leaves Whiny without a second thought to see what happened; an arsonist has set fire to OZ. Whiny looks worried, the OZGang looks in shock. Toady looks…thoughtful? Clearly he set it up as a kneejerk action because of his crybaby sister.  Man, they are doing everything to make sure Lu Tian Xing tells them to f**k off and die.
JoAnne: Thank you for removing the one hold you had over him, Lidiots.
 
Shuk:  At Tao House, they look over a few things they managed to save; the wall posters and the exterior OZSign. TaoMom is disconsolate; her son’s business and memory turned into ashes. PDLeo believes the arsonist may strike again. Tian Xing apologizes to both TaoRents and tells everyone he is going to look for the perp.
JoAnne: It's a SIGN FROM HEAVEN. Walk away from Oz. Oz is gone, somewhere over the rainbow. Start something new. Preferably in a field for which you've had some training so you don't go bankrupt again.
Maybe she can try a field of cows.
Shuk:  The PsychoFam is enjoying fruits; PsychoDau is worried that her love slave isn't answering her SMS. Tian Xing barges into the happy domestic scene with fiery eyes and righteous anger. He goes straight to PsychoMom – Did she arrange the arson? She gets up in his grill as the PsychoSibs watch. He asks her why she would destroy the one thing that’s precious to him.
JoAnne: I don't think she knew about it, though.
Shuk:  That earns him a face slap as she goes on a tirade. How dare he treat her like that after she raised and nurtured and groomed him to her chosen path, because of a trash company? Whiny begs him to apologize to her mother. Sexy tells her the fire was deliberately set, but she brushes it off like nothing. After all, he no longer has anything to do with OZ. It’s time to play hardball: she plans to take back the house, the possessions, Butler Fu.That way he will appreciate TX better. With that she storms out. Toady just stares.
JoAnne: He's thinking, 'Well, that escalated quickly.'
 
Shuk:  Chalk Girl brings out the newly-cleaned  OZSign as a symbol of hope, and rallies the OZGang around DeadBro’s poster.  True friendship and all that felgercarb, followed up by a huddle and cheer. But it’s really just a death rattle, in my opinion.
JoAnne: From the ashes of Oz, like a phoenix reborn, Tao Zi has found her inner backbone.

Shuk:  TaoMom looks at the ugly pink box with the ugly pink bear and the uglier wedding invitation, and sighs.  She starts to open the ugly pink box, but is interrupted when Chalky shows up with tea. Mom states the obvious: Whiny clearly loves Sexy, but it’s not reciprocated, and without love on both sides, no one can be happy.  Love should be wanting what makes the other happiest. Food for a thoughtful look.
JoAnne: For a minute I was confused and looked around for Leo.
Shuk: #WhenASqueeCapperTriesToBeFunny

Shuk: OZ has a temporary office, compliments of Wang Chung’s friend. The OZGang is upbeat, until Bangs shows up with the newspaper outlining Toady’s press release of power struggle and the destruction of OZ.
JoAnne: These people are not subtle at all.

Shuk:  Tao Zi calls Huan Huan for a meet up, stating they need to end this before it escalates further.  After disconnecting, Chalky tells Tian Xing that this wasn't a simple business merger but a love triangle power struggle, and she wants to talk it out with the hypotenuse.
JoAnne:  Do I....see some balls?
Shuk:  PDLeo pulls Sexy aside for a man-to-man. He asks why the engagement happened but answers his own question. Because Tian Xing saved OZ by breaking his promise with Tao Zi and giving up his happiness and the future that he wanted. Sexy bites back that he would have chosen another path, but there was none.
JoAnne: Ohhh, sure there was.  There were so many. So, so many.

Shuk:  PDLeo finally turns on the personality. Tao Zi is willing to confront Huan Huan to fight for their love, but Tian Xing is making the wrong decisions.  Therefore, PD Leo will do what he can to protect the woman he loves.
JoAnne: I will think thoughtful thoughts! I will create thoughtful energy! It will inspire others to thoughtful action! (I think.)
Shuk:  It’s another leisurely breakfast at PsychoHouse; PsychoMom loves the press release of course.  PsychoBro tells PsychoSis to crush Chalk Girl completely so that she can have the happy ending she envisions.
JoAnne: Because nothing says happiness like wheeling your chair over the crushed bones of your romantic rival, right?

Shuk:  It’s a bit strained in the LuLexus driving to the PsychoHouse.  Sexy is worried, but Chalk Girl is calm. Butler Fu greets them, apologetic for abandoning Sexy, but Sexy understands.  He tells both of them to stop sighing; after all, he has Fu who loves him, and Tao Zi, who means the world.  And with that, they go into the lion’s den.
JoAnne: Are they Christians? I need to know, because I've got money riding on the outcome.
Shuk:  You will have to check www.houseofdaniel.god
Shuk:  Butler Fu leads Chalky upstairs to Whiny.  Tian Xing  exchanges a nod of encouragement before focusing on the biatch in front of him.
JoAnne: They have a plan, right? RIGHT?

Shuk:  Whiny is truly in LaLaLand, wanting Tao Zi to help her pick a wedding dress that would just be so freaking perfect.  One of them is blood red.
JoAnne: She needs to watch Game of Thrones.
 
Shuk: Chalky ignores this in order to be frank. Is your happiness painful? Whiny gets defensive as Chalky continues. Happiness is two people in love sharing their lives. Whiny interprets this as Chalky causing Sexy pain, and Chalky agrees that she buried her love in her heart so it wouldn't hurt him.
JoAnne: Nope. Nope, that's not why you did that at all. Just because I don't hate you as much as I hate Wheelie the Whiner doesn't mean I'm letting you off the hook, Miss Thang.
Shuk:  However, by selling and destroying OZ didn't that hurt him?  By using threats to force his compliance, didn't that hurt him too? Huan Huan gets more and more agitated, yelling that she didn't do any of those things. Chalky fires back.  Did she ever even ask what he wanted?  As the argument continues, Whiny stands up to continue yelling at Chalky until she is hysterical and falls back into the wheelchair.  She ends up chanting “I’m the only one that can give him happiness” until she is screaming it.  She wants to hear it from Tao Zi’s mouth, but it’s not going to happen.
JoAnne: So when I saw her stand up I thought ok, wow, that's how it will be revealed - so the picture in the shop was just another plot point that the writer lost a post it for, huh?  Instead, we got nothing. Nada. Zilch. It was not even acknowledged. At all. Like, not even afterward.  I'm shaking my head at you, Show.
 
Shuk:  Downstairs, things are also heated. Tian Xing wonders why they had to destroy OZ, but PsychoMom knows more about his feelings than he does, apparently. He freely admits out loud that his sole reason for existence is Tao Zi. Huan Huan will be his responsibility, but will never be anything else. Lance stands up and orders him to never see Tao Zi again.
JoAnne: Did he expect LTX to say okay? I mean what WAS that?

Shuk: Mom keeps going. Tian Xing was destined to be her son-in-law the moment his parents passed away, so you’d better go through with it.  He tries to appeal to the mother in her. After all, will her daughter be happy with someone who will never put her first in his life? PsychoMom don’t care; her spoiled little princess  will get everything her little heart wants, no matter what. She doesn't care what Tian Xing thinks.
JoAnne: I thought Aaron did well here - the look on his face as he realizes that he was never more than a pet to these people was heartbreaking.
Shuk:  Mom resorts to begging.  If he promises to love and take care of Huan Huan, she’ll never harm again. She will even give him the entire Tian Ji company. Oh snap, that got Lance’s ears perked up. (Oh, how I laughed.) Tian Xing ignores the offer; love cannot be bought and sold. Lance begins to boil as Mom sinks to her knees.  Both boys exasperatedly react exactly the same way.  Tian Xing says “Enough.”
JoAnne: Sorry but what the everloving fuck. Why did we just go through all of that for him to throw his hands up and STOP?
Shuk:  Upstairs, Huan Huan promises Tao Zi that her family won’t damage OZ anymore. I snort in disbelief – what’s left? Huan Huan slips into Stepford Wife mode; she carefully blanks her face so Tian Xing won’t see tears.  Just then, he enters the room, and she wastes no time glomping all over him, chattering about the dresses and kissing his cheek while our lovers stare at each other.
JoAnne: I really wanted him to shudder and cringe away from her. I mean, I want him to be vicious to this girl. Shrug her off of his arm, kiss Tao Zi in front of her, you name it.
 
FINAL THOUGHTS

Shuk:  Sexy and Chalky just need to cut and run.  OZ is folded, spindled, and mutilated, and only in TWDramaWorld would it ever have the tiniest iota of possibly ever coming back to existence. So really, what hold do they have over Lu Tian Xing anymore?
JoAnne: I suppose he's afraid they'd go after her family or something but my God, these people aren't the MAFIA - they aren't even SMART.  
Shuk:  I liked that Tao Le Si has finally stepped up to the plate, and is at least willing to try and fight for her future. Up to now, whether it's been the company or her own life, she's just kind of drifted along. I think she should use those fighting skills from her parents to throat-punch Momma Li, but that might be too extreme. A tiny tiny bit too extreme.
JoAnne: Not at all.
Shuk:  The plot finally seems to be moving, although I miss all the sexy times with Tian Xing / Xiao Lu. Huan Huan has no grasp of reality, and what little sympathy I might have for her is rapidly disappearing with the speed of the half-life of Carbon-15 (2.45 seconds, by the way).  Does she really think that yelling at something to go away, makes it go away?  Clearly, she's never seen a single Freddy Krueger movie.
JoAnne: Let's show her the Ring video.

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