Fall In Love With (Both of) Me Episode 18 (A SqueeCap)

Shuk:  We are on the downside to this series, and boy, am I ready for something to happen that’s not PsychoBride or SexyAdGuy sadface. Or LeoThink.  Wouldn't be a nice change for something else, anything?  Maybe a drinking game, where you take a shot every time Whiny starts screaming.
JoAnne: Better play that game IN the emergency room, because you WILL get alcohol poisoning.

Shuk:  With the hope of escaping via The Taoyuan Airport solution, Sexy has renewed determination. TaoParents exact a promise from him to always put their daughter first, no matter where they end up. He fervently nods and heads out to make plans.
Shuk:  TaoMom grabs her daughter and starts throwing things into a suitcase. Chalky is confused, until TaoMom explains the plan to haul ass to the country of AnywhereThatsNotTaiwan. Chalky worries about OZ, but Mom points out that her happiness trumps any- and everything else. Chalky finally gets it, and the two share a tearful hug. Kitty promises to take care those left behind.

Shuk: In the morning, Sexy is there and ready to go. With a final round of advice, they head for the airport.
Shuk:  Toady is reading the September edition of Blackmailers Magazine over breakfast (snort) when he gets a call. He tells the other party to stop them. How in the heck did his spies figure out that they were heading to the airport? They could just as easily have taken a bus somewhere. Oh well, let’s move on. Whiny is depositing the morning happy pills in her box when Toady runs into her bedroom to get her and her wheelchair downstairs.
JoAnne:  Since the family is so stupid, the fact that they keep finding these things out means that their henchmen are smarter than they are.  I keep hoping they revolt.

Shuk:  We get a bit of a car chase. I guess that’s a bit of excitement [yawn]. Sexy shakes off his shadow with the luck of a water seller. Toady is not happy to hear this, but Whiny is pretty much expressionless.
JoAnne:  As am I.

Shuk: Sexy and Chalky make it to the airport and head for Terminal One. I've always hated the word “Terminal” in my travels. Can’t they be like Star Trek and call them Docks or something?  But  I digress.
JoAnne: Funny, I've often thought about the word.  Terminal means 'ending/final' among other things - but just as many people are BEGINNING travels in a terminal as they are finishing them, so why not a word that covers both?  And then from there, because I'm loopy from Dramamine, I think how Terminal sounds like Germinal, and I think 'I should really read that again' and then I fall asleep until they call me for boarding.
Shuk:  Butler Fu finds an empty PsychoHouse, and a full PsychoDau pillbox.  He realizes the implications. Our pair is on the plane, holding hands and waiting for the safety lecture, when several guys in black-on-black show up, along with Lance and Huan Huan.  Where the heck is airport security?
JoAnne:  Ridiculous. Just ridiculous.

Shuk: They have a little convo in the aisles of the plane. Seriously, Show, gotta throw the bullshit flag on this play. Whiny has a tantrum and throws herself to the floor in a screaming toddler fit. Toady, Sexy, and the Men in Black hurry off the plane to head for the hospital.
JoAnne: Where are his balls, Shuk?  Where are his BALLS? She is not his problem. And he can say that with all the love in the world, honestly.
Shuk:  Chalky stays on the plane, chats up the captain during the flight to France, and ends up falling in love with his cockpit. Not really, she ends up walking alone with her suitcase back to Tao House. Everyone else is at the hospital.
JoAnne: And today is the day off for all cabdrivers, I guess.
Shuk: Once he knows Whiny is in no danger, Sexy gets ready to head back to the airport. He offers to let everyone heap all blame on him, but he is also ready to lose everything for the sake of his own happiness. Aunt tries both guilt and bribery, but Tian Xing doesn't want any of it.
JoAnne:  Should have stayed on the plane. So pissed off at you, Sexy.

Shuk:  Sexy attempts to contact Tao Zi, but receives a phone call from Butler Fu first. He meets up with the old guy in a park, who tells him what went down at the airport. He also tells Sexy about the medicine pile in Whiny’s room and the missed physical therapy sessions.
JoAnne: To which he replies:  Who gives a fuck? Certainly not our watchers, so definitely not I. Sigh. If only.
Shuk:  PsychoMom and Toady are prepping for a meal when Tian Xing stomps determinedly into the house and up the stairs.  Huan Huan is PPL’ing some face cream (yeah like she has eyebags or something) when Sexy storms in, closely followed by the rest of the PsychoFam. He outs her uneaten pill collection, and her deliberate attempts to worsen her condition. Oh yay, another tantrum, another collapse. Now she decides to swallow some random pills to go with her shrieking. According to some weird synapse in her brain, her destruction of her body is proof of her love. Sexy proves his own brain is deteriorating when he tries to reason with her.
JoAnne: Oh my GOD I hate them all at this point. EVEN SEXY. Just STFUP and go AWAY and leave these crazy people in your dust.  COME ON.
Shuk:  PsychoMom throws a water balloon full of guilt at Tian Xing. With the implosion of a neutrino, Tian Xing exits it the room and leaves a vacuum, one that Whiny is perfectly willing to fill with more caterwauling. He ends up outside pounding his fist against the brickwork as he goes back over all the emotional manipulation this family has put him through.
JoAnne: And then decides to cut them from his life with the precision of a surgeon?  No?  THEN WHY ARE WE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE?  Did I sound like Whiny just then? I think I'm going crazy.
Shuk:  It’s nighttime when Tao Zi decides to contact Tian Xing. He’s just made it to the park she’s at, but rather than answer it, he drags the call to voice mail. I wonder why he bothered to show up at all.
JoAnne:  The writer thought that they'd have an idea once they got him to the park but nope, no such like. So then here he is, stuck at the park, only no one knows what to do with him.  'I know!  Let's have him be all guilty and sad and not accept her phone call as an EXPRESSION of his guilt and sadness, but his LOVE will be expressed by his physical nearness to her in the park, and the obstacles between them will be represented by the DISTANCE between them physically.  Oh My God we will win AWARDS for our deep and meaningful visual representation of such a convoluted situation.  We will.  We will!' No. No you will not. Do not ever take another job as a writer again, for the sake of all humanity.
Shuk: TaoParents and Kitty are relieved she’s back, but pretty much Tian Xing’s on the permanent Dad Shit List. Kitty is the voice of reason; let’s all get some sleep and see how things are in the morning. Dad begs Chalky to scrape that untrustworthy Sexy off for good, but Tao Zi insists on trusting Tian Xing’s actions. Dad wants to keep arguing, but Kitty points out that his daughter is barely holding it together. That deflates him, and they all share a hug. Meanwhile, Sexy is outside hearing it all.
JoAnne: He should just invent another persona to solve the problem, don't you think? EmoSex. He looks good enough to get nekkid with, but all you really want to do is punch him, and he's okay with that.

Shuk:  Toady wanders up to Whiny’s room with a glass of warm milk, but she is in pout mode. Well, as least she’s not screaming. Maybe she’s hoarse?  He gently chastises her for allowing her legs to degenerate, but she doesn't care as long as Tian Xing stays with her. Toady promises that once she’s married, he will send the couple overseas for her treatment.
JoAnne:  So he was ok with her living in the wheelchair when she could walk, but not if she couldn't? It dawns on me (slowly, because I'm no longer really engaged with this show) that perhaps all along he only meant for her to pretend until they got married, and then she could have a miraculous recovery. That doesn't make sense, because then they'd just get divorced.
Shuk: Now it’s time for Toady to administer to PsychoMom, who is nursing a headache, and wondering why her daughter has become Demon Child. Toady assures his mother that it’s just a common trait of the Li family to be stubborn asses.  I mean, to go after what belongs to them.
JoAnne:  Why the FFFF are any of them surprised by any of this? They can breathe and walk at the same time, so the results of their behavior prior to this should be completely understandable.
Shuk:  Sexy is having a clothing-on shower; he is broody but without abs I’m pretty bored with it. He thinks about the moment when PsychoMom offered him the entire TX entity in exchange for marrying her daughter.
JoAnne:  What is the purpose of this?  Who the FFFF in real life ever just gets in a shower with their clothes on, without first having gone through a chemical spill.  This is STUPID.  The writer is an idiot.  I HATE MY LIFE WHY HAS IT COME TO THIS? What did I do that was so wrong, Shuk? What? WHAT?
Shuk: Your path to perdition started when you thought it would be fun to write about these:
Shuk:  It’s morning at TaoHouse.  Kitty offers to excuse Chalky’s absence at NewOZ, but our jilted lover says she’ll be at work soon. After Kitty leaves, she stares at the ceiling from her bunk bed a little longer. Once she heads outside, though, Sexy is waiting for her. She’s surprised by his knuckle bandage, but she still has faith in him.  He, however, warns her to never believe him again, and strides away.
JoAnne:  Looking back at this, I laugh. Tense is everything.

Shuk:  At NewOZ, Bangs is angry over the events of the previous day, but Helen deflects him with coffee and snacks. Chalky shows up and they start their meeting. Leo looks, you guessed it, thoughtful! Well, and smiling too, so that’s a nice change-up.
JoAnne:  What the FFFF is he doing getting better looking, Shuk? Is it that the glare from Sexy's brilliance has worn off?
Shuk:  Tian Xing takes Whiny for a trip to the seamstress to try on wedding tackle. She’s surprised and happy over his care of her.  At LiHouse, Toady is also surprised over the events, but is less pleased, especially when Tian Xing agrees to the wedding. PsychoMom is shocked that he wants to move up the event to three days hence, and the two “brothers” smile falsely at each other.
JoAnne: Oh, how I want him to destroy them.
Shuk:  Chalky is sitting alone in TaoHouse, going back over her convo with Sexy that morning. She receives a text from the man in her thoughts, stating he’s going to marry Huan Huan. We see in a quick screen his pained expression when he sends the text.  His face goes through different emotions when Chalky texts back her blessings. He doesn't want her blessings, though, just her participation.
JoAnne: Here begins the (more) confusing part of the story.  From here to the end, just assume my comments, no matter what they are, can be translated simply as 'What the everloving fuck is going on?'
Shuk:  In a darkened car, Butler Fu and Wang Chung continue their machinations to find the mysterious holder of TX stock, Mr. Long, ending with an adorable secret handshake.
JoAnne: I like him. Them. I like them. They might be the only people I still like in this drama.

Shuk:  Toady’s spy calls him to warn him about the Search For Mr. Long. Is Wang Chung a mole?
Shuk:  Whiny is filming a series of cosmetic commercials for the OZGang, but it’s not going smoothly. Tian Xing shows up, prompting PD Leo to pull him aside and confirm that he is indeed marrying Whiny.  Sexy replies:
"I think you are the one who can see through me the most. Like you, I am also protecting her, but using a different method. I'm fighting a really big battle, one that requires Tao Le Si's face to show complete disbelief. Then I can focus and fight the battle. So Leo, for the time being, she will be in your care."
JoAnne: Oh please, oh please, let it be that. Let him be doing something perfect and awesome and fixing their butts!
Shuk:  Tian Xing shows up at LuHouse, where Mom has prepared the transfer documents: All OZ stock will transfer to him, and all Mom's TX stock will transfer to Huan Huan as a wedding present. She also verbalizes her intent for him to take over the advertising company. Lance overhears and hides to hear the rest: Mom thinks Lance is too greedy to run the company. Ouch, I feel a tiny pang for him. Lance, however, has gone into silent rage mode.
JoAnne: I don't blame him. His mother told him the exact opposite thing to his face, and now it seems clear that she cares less for him than she does for her daughter. Far less. So while he's been the devoted son and brother, apparently she's willing to toss him aside to force a man who isn't in love and actively wants NOT to, into marrying the daughter.
Lance in his mind
Shuk:  Toady sits in his car, and remembers when his mom bald-faced lied to him that she had no intention of a Non-Li running the company.  He also wonders about the speed of the upcoming nuptials.  He puts two and two together just as his flunky confirms that (a) they have found Mr. Long; and (b) Mom has already transferred the stocks to Tian Xing. Wheels within wheels, he contacts Mr. Long. Insert gratuitous Engrish.
JoAnne: This whole particular piece irritated me. We'll see why soon. I mean, it was an irritation above and beyond the general irritation.
Shuk:  It’s a cloudy day in Taipei as Tian Xing preps into a monkey suit with the help of Butler Fu, and stares with determination at his reflection.
JoAnne:  These days, even two Tian Xings is not better than nothing.  I am unmoved and uninterested.

Shuk:  Whiny is getting ready, too, surrounded by like 4 wedding dresses. Did she buy them all? Chalky shows up, all OZ business. She tells Whiny that the current dress is pretty, and while she can’t give her blessing, she still wants to be there as a friend of the bride. She hands our Wheelie a pink rose and asks her not to hurt people anymore. Whiny promptly throws the rose and wonders who she is hurting; the conversation circles back to Sexy and his unbreakable love of Tao Zi, and our bride is left grinding her teeth.
JoAnne: This is MADDENING.  How is it that any of these people want to be friends with any of these people?  And why does Whiny conveniently forget over and over that the man she is marrying DOES NOT LOVE HER? And in fact, loves someone else?  How is it that this family thinks if they force you to act a certain way you will suddenly have a lobotomy and miraculously FEEL the way they are forcing you to act?
Shuk:  Outside, though, our OTP pass each other with barely a glance.
JoAnne: If I could get over my earlier dislike of her, back when SHE was the weepy whiny irritating girl, I would encourage her to stick her leg out and either kick him or trip him.  But I don't like her either, so this is fine.

Shuk:  Whiny stops them just before they enter the chapel, and she asks Tian Xing if he still sees her as a little sister. He honestly replies that she will always be that, and that the wedding is his present to her. A little chuck under the chin, and the doors open to the strains of Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March”.
JoAnne:  I do like that he tells her the truth. I am still amazed that she hears it and still doesn't understand
Shuk:  The priest starts the ceremony as Tao Zi stares at Tian Xing, who enthusiastically agrees to the marriage vows.  But before Whiny can reciprocate, the doors open again as Lance loudly yells, “I oppose!”
JoAnne: Oh thank God.  I add Lance to the tiny tiny group of people I have a dim hope of still caring about at the end of all this stupidity. 

Shuk:  Well, at least we are finally out of the rut of the last several episodes, although it still remains to be seen what will happen with our almost-married couple. And how is having a wheelchair-bound battleaxe protecting Tao Zi? I don't' get where this is going. And, responsibility notwithstanding, PDLeo is just as ineffectual as ever; after all, what protection does Tao Zi need at this point?
JoAnne:  Well I suppose we're supposed to understand that if Tian Xing continued to refuse to marry Whiny, then Stupid Mom would continue to do things to make life difficult for Tao Zi and her family. So no matter which way Tian Xing goes, Leo is poised to do whatever he can to make that a slightly smaller piece of cake for the Lidiot family. I guess he would glare at them or something. Who knows. I don't care enough to try and figure out what he might do.
Only two more episodes to go.