Shuk: Yaay! It's the final episode! No more of this spiral of ridiculosity!ShukTrivia: I usually place a gif or graphic at the top of my recap for inspiration. Since this one generated comment, I'm leaving it in place! :)
bcook: I had to come in here and shake your hand Shukie. Job well done! *Goes into Churchill and completely massacres his speeches* "You fought till the end. You did not surrender. This is your finest hour and you have achieved great victory, however long and hard the road had seemed. You.." Ooh! Jam!
Shuk: [bows, reaches for the can of snuff]
JoAnne: Is that a light at the end of the tunnel, or is it a train?
Shuk: Either way, it has finality.
EPISODE 20 (Final, Thank Goodness)
Shuk: After delivering a roundhouse slap to Lance, PsychoMom is stunned that Lance seems unaffected by it. In fact, he coldly threatens her with his status as head of the LIdiot household, and she exits stage right, crying. Whiny is crying; I’m not sure how Tian Xing feels, since my apathy field is too thick for his emotions to penetrate it.
JoAnne: Green beans. He's thinking about green beans.
Shuk: PyschoMom is sitting on a park bench when Tao Zi walks by. She immediately starts yelling at the younger woman that it’s her fault that the Li family has fallen apart and turned psychotic and evil. Chalky offers to be her verbal punching bag if it makes her feel better, but ends up hugging PsychoMom instead.
JoAnne: She stealthily inserts a sharp dagger between PsychoMom's 2d and 3d rib. The knife is so sharp PM doesn't really feel it, but as her lungs fill with frothy blood and she falls to the ground, she realizes that she should have lived her life better.
Shuk: TaoHouse is graced with LiMom’s presence for dinner, and the TaoParents are quick to offer their hospitality. Butler Fu is there as well. They have a nice chat about their children over noodles, and Butler Fu drives home the point that a happy home raises happy children. LiMom apologizes for her previous bitchy behavior. After eating, LiMom wanders around the city, thinking.
JoAnne: 'I really wish they had served green beans.'
Shuk: In the morning, Chalky, PD Leo, and Whiny review the first edit of the commercial. Toady calls his sister wanting to talk to her face to face and she’s happy they can clear the air. His face, though, tells me there is another agenda on his mind. PD Leo and Chalky thoughtfully watch her leave NewOZ, and decide to call Tian Xing to let him know.
JoAnne: Um..your wife is going to see her brother and we aren't sure really but it's possible he's planning to kill her? Because everyone wants to but he's the only one brave enough to do it? You might want to go watch? We're bringing snacks.
Shuk: Tian Xing is with Butler Fu, and is worried that he can’t get ahold of Toady. Meanwhile, Lance slides into Whiny’s car for a little trip, and asks her not to answer Tian Xing’s phone call, and actually turn the phone off. Man, I would never turn off my phone if someone asked me to. It’s tantamount to “hold the barrel of this gun for a moment”.
JoAnne: 'In your mouth.'
Shuk: While Tian Xing and Butler Fu speculate what Lance is planning, they get a call from LiMom asking for a meetup.
JoAnne: TX votes for Lance pushing her into traffic, but BF thinks that Lance would go for the symmetry of throwing her off that cliff that started this whole mess. When LiMom calls, she's annoyed that no one invited her to the Death Match Snack Fest but she's trying to pretend she doesn't know about it.
Shuk: The two siblings are heading up a steep mountain road. She whines about the drive, but gets nothing but silence from the two men in the car. At NewOZ, PD Leo and Tao Zi decide to join the motorcade and head over to TX.
JoAnne: We can end this really quickly if they're all in one place, Shuk.
JoAnne: If a whiny bitch screams herself hoarse on a mountaintop, will the sound reach anyone who cares?
Shuk: Yay, another Whiny meltdown, this time railing against her brother. I ran out of yawning cat gifs.
JoAnne: That dog's mouth is terrifying.
JoAnne: That's it. Fuck them all. There's not one actual living human in the bunch.
Shuk: Whiny is brought to DorkHouse, where LiMom is waiting with Butler Fu. LiMom wonders out loud why Lance is behaving this way. PD Leo has a single line shining moment: “Have you thought about who made him this way?” The LIdiots play the “I’m at fault, no I’m at fault” game, wishing things could go back the way they were.
JoAnne: As I realize that this series will actually end with them just being incredibly fucking stupid and not eternally evil, I begin to laugh.
JoAnne: You rebel!
Shuk: Over a meal at DorkHouse, LiMom realizes that she should have told her kids to put on the big person panties way before now, and not give in to their every whim. Tian Xing tells her she should change and therefore change her children.
JoAnne: The only thing worth changing at this point is the channel.
Shuk: Lance drinks alone at his favorite bar. He gets a text from Sexy that a shareholder’s meeting is scheduled for the next morning.
JoAnne: He signs off as 'The owner of everything, who also happens to bone your sis.'
Shuk: Lance is last to arrive and the first to snark. Shouldn’t the ‘family’ of three make the decision without convening everyone? Tian Xing stands up and announces that all LiMom’s, Whiny’s, and Tian Xing’s stock is transferred to Lance, making him the 90% stockholder for TX Advertising. Lance isn’t buying the show of support, instead thinking they are trying to humiliate him.
JoAnne: I sincerely wish someone would humiliate me, then.
JoAnne: Is he a girl?
Shuk: The next morning, Tian Xing gets a call from Whiny; Lance came home but only long enough to pack a bag and leave. Tian Xing 180’s to the airport. No racing through the airport; they all converge in the parking deck.
JoAnne: Maybe a plane will slam into it and put us out of this misery.
Shuk: They use words like “family”, “love”, and stuff to beg for another chance. Tian Xing reminds him that they still have to fight over work projects. Lance gives each one of them a stare. To Tian Xing, he commands him to take care of his sister and mother, since they will always be a family. I care a little. Lance still leaves, and I say good for him.
JoAnne: Oh me too! Chalk one up as an escapee from Toxic Family Island!
Shuk: Now for the tie-up of our peripheral characters. Kitty snuggles against Wang Chung as Bangs massages lotion into Helen’s hands. It’s kind of goopy. Tian Xing and Huan Huan show up just before Tao Zi and PD Leo. There’s good news: OZ won a Creativity Award for the Wedding / Engagement advertisement.
JoAnne: So everyone is really just going to go on like the dissolution of Oz never happened then.
Shuk: Whiny reminds Tao Zi that there’s still the issue of Tian Xing ownership. She hands him off to Chalky, removes her wedding band and places it in Tao Zi’s hand. Just like that, it’s done. Wang Chung comments that Whiny’s smile looks genuine again. Tian Xing hugs his current girlfriend as PD Leo escorts Huan Huan out of the office and the rest drift away to give them privacy.
JoAnne: FINALLY, they do it like wild animals on top of a desk. I could almost care.
Shuk: Outside, PD Leo shows Huan Huan a bit of nature. She has decided to focus on her career, her mom, and becoming a responsible person. She realizes she missed out on a lot in her single-minded obsession with Tian Xing. PD Leo looks into her eyes and tells her it’s not too late to change.
JoAnne: All she has to do is think really hard about it.
Shuk: A cute montage: Wang Chung delivers a proposal to Kitty and Mutt via stuffies and gingerbread boy/girl keychains. The OZGang play Under-The-Bridge street baseball. Tao Zi has her brother’s watch back. Tian Xing has a postcard from Lance, who is in Seattle, and has found a good neurosurgeon for Huan Huan.
JoAnne: Leo finally snaps and begins to whip balls at people's heads, knocking them out instantly.
Shuk: Then it’s the wedding. Tian Xing is in DorkHair mode but looking spiffy in his tux. There’s hoots, hollers, and grins from everyone. Tao Zi thanks Huan Huan for flying back; she stands and smiles, arm in arm with Leo. They plan to head back together to the States for a final round of physical therapy.JoAnne: It's called 'Deep Tissue Thinking'
JoAnne: I think I cared a little bit.
JoAnne: Oh for fuck's sake thank GOD it's over.
FINAL FINAL THOUGHTS
JoAnne: Oh for fuck's sake thank GOD it's over pretty much sums it up for me, Shuk. What a ridiculous trainwreck of a drama. I have never hated EVERYONE even the pretty man in any drama, ever. Until now.
Shuk: It was so good at the beginning: light, cute, sexy. But holy crap, the last 3...4...5 episodes of mopey whining and screaming fits just sucked away all positive thoughts into a morass of loathing and disappointment. Even Aaron Yan danced on top of the his car wearing nothing but Sponge Bob boxer shorts would not have made me care. Which is a sad sad thing.
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