We Got Married - The RimKim Couple (Episode 5)

Ready for more cheese? You know what helps when you've had too much of it? (I should know, I'm Swiss, and am often forced to eat Fondue). You drink hot tea with it - and eat it with pickles. It's a myth that it helps to drink Schnaps or white wine! In fact, that makes you digest even slower!! But you know what? I don't care. Science. What do they know.
Mary: Bring on the cheese! And the fondue!!!
JoAnne: Cheese and pickles would be good, yes. I wonder that Koreans don't eat more cheese, given how much they like pickled things.
becca: Cheese and... pickles? Am I the only one who finds that combo unusual? *shrug* As long as you're happy! But I just want the pickles!

Episode 5

Our LoveyDoveys are in the car - Rim at the wheel! Remember? She likes a man that drives well. And I think he does drive well. Really well. All cool and laid back ... But where are they headed? To buy stuff for their apartment! So-eun would really like a TV, but there's no money for that, says stern husband. Ah, then let's rent one! But no, wifey: if anything is rented - then it's a bidet! Noooooooooooooooo, hahaaaaaa. I'm quite certain you can't rent a bidet.
Mary: Rim, please stop talking about a bidet. It sends me into fits of bidet-researching. Then I stop myself, thinking, "Surely, I'm not the only crazy one who thought of sending Oppa one. Surely someone already did it, right?" Then you talk about it again like it's the most important thing in the world to you (after cats and sex).
JoAnne: It's all connected, Mary. Rim likes cats, cats always clean themselves, Rim likes sex, you should be clean... there you go.
becca: Huh. Interesting logic.
Anyway, bidet is out, Sitzbad is in. Did she really use this German word? So ... you use a bubble machine. That's not kinky at all. Nam says off-screen (or is it the other guy?): "They're an OMG couple". Yes, Nam. They totally are.
Mary: "Oh My Fooking Gott, Just Make A Baby Already Couple". Yes.
JoAnne: They're the Playacting Or Not Couple. PorN Couple.
becca: The I Don't Care What They're Called - Just Let Me Love Them Couple. IDCWTCJLMLT Couple. Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

Oh, so Rim's fashion "choices" have become a topic? Yeah, the striped shorts ... he likes stripes, it seems. Hence his current shirt? Hence his appearance at the fashion award a few days ago? *snort*
Mary: He looks like a drenched penguin. *attaching photo for evidence* But his hair seemed to stand up a little bit later in the ceremonies...
JoAnne: He's wearing Mo's boots. They are a fashion don't, Rim.
becca: I like stripes, too. I do not like those boots, but he does looks happy to be there, so points for that!
The conversation turns to make-up (he didn't wear any in the first WGM scenes), but that's not a big deal, she thinks, since men don't wear much anyway. Rim discovers that his wife wears false lashes - what a disappointment! She quickly tries to ensure him that her lashes are naturally long - but she wanted to be even prettier when she first met him. D'awwwwwww.
Rim: "What should I lengthen"?
OMFG. (*giggling* I had the same thoughts. Any squeeglet who didn't immediately go there is lying!) (Oh I went there.) (I decline to answer this on the basis that doing so might incriminate myself.)
But no, he is thinking about foot pads. The ones Kim Ji-hoon wears.
He notices how she touches his hand when he does a sudden break maneuver - and decides to do them often. And more cheese. I think she puts on tons of BB Cream so that we can't easily see her blushes. He also thinks she should get a flu shot. She absolutely should. *grabs her hand* Why would he grab her hand at this point? He just grabs whenever he gets a chance, right?
Mary: Just wait til you meet me, Rim. I'll grab whenever I get the chance too. Take note that I'm tiny and might grab your lower "appendages" though.
JoAnne: You think he has more than one, Mary?
He also suggests they get a "garlic shot" while they're at it. Excuse me??! WTF is that? They're good for the skin? "You're already a princess - want to become a queen"? *cheesemeltsallaroundtheworld*. And one more: but she has to have a baby to become a queen.
Mary: HAHAHAHA eyes always on the goal, Rim!
JoAnne: I am truly concerned about this girl's safety on their honeymoon.

She "can't do that" because she would have to take off her make-up - and I guess she means the garlic shot, not the becoming pregnant part, haha. Ah, she doesn't have confidence? he asks. No, since viewers would not recognize her! In private, she confesses to us that she wants to look pretty in front of her husband. It's too soon to go bare-faced! Awwww, but he thinks her features alone are pretty enough. Awwwwwww. *dies when he does the 앙* *also dies*
Mary: Raise your hand if you want to pinch him when he does that "aaaaang" thing! (Or it just reminds me of this gif:)
JoAnne: Now I laugh when I see things like this because before, I thought he was probably this dim, stuck on himself model...and now I know he was probably thinking 'I wish this was chicken. I wonder if the photographer's assistant would mind if I patted her butt. Did I remember to change Olla's litter?  Olla, Dad will be home soon! We'll eat chicken!'
When they arrive, she gets out herself - and then sits back in so that HE can open the door for her. They're at some kind of store and it seems they're talking about his hair (she likes it), and he does too - it's from a drama. It's called "It's Okay, It's Jae-rim". WTF, hahahahaaaaa, this is totally our joke!
Mary: Do you think he reads us? Maybe Paek PD showed him the link?
JoAnne: I think he would LOVE us. And probably her, too.
becca: This reminds me: we have a new header featuring Jo In-sung! It is gorgeous. I presume it's your handiwork, kakashi? (Yes - it's been there for weeks though!)

What kind of shop is this?! They're discussing cleaning agents for the bathroom. So-eun is of the opinion that strong husbands should clean the bathroom. Would she do her Sitzbad in the living room then? STRIKE, Jae-rim. And that thing is now the center of Rim's amusement. Every plastic pot he sees he calls a Sitzbad.
Mary: I confess I don't know what a sitz bath is. And am now, as usual, imagining something else. Prepare to laugh 4 weeks from now when I figure out what it really is.
JoAnne:  Don't you just basically lower your butt into a prepared solution of like, water and epsom salts or something? And sit there?  I wonder if it's fizzy. That would be weird.
becca: I imagine it as a tiny butt hot-tub. And yes, I bet you epsom salts in, too. For maximum fizzing and bubbling.
He also seems to have "prepared" something (she says she's getting nervous). That something involves a glue gun. Uh-oh. But it's just for a cat tower! He babbles and babbles. Long nose? What??! They could earn money by collecting copper, he suggests. (HAHAHA that's illegal! Stealing copper from phone wires) And then, he wants to buy adhesives. For any eventuality. And because he doesn't like to be apart from her. *Cheesealert*!
Mary: He seems like he's outfitting an actual house, not just a for-show one. Also, LMAO, Eric Nam is telling Rim to go write a book (of his cheesy lines).
JoAnne: Because they WORK.
becca: Do the couples ever get to actually meet the panel or whatever they're called? The observers? Because I would love to see Nam meet Rim. I want that bromance.
They buy slippers - she chooses transparent ones. They're like glass slippers. Ah, she is Cinderella! says Rim. Don't lose them. Another prince might take you. And ... *headbutt*. Yeah, of course he did it on purpose. Mary said this before, he really IS like a cat!
Mary: A cat god. Yes. *busy staring moonily at Rim being happy with another cute feisty girl*
JoAnne: It's ok Mary, that's tv. You're real life. I think. *peers suspiciously at the screen*
They need a roller too - to remove cat hair? What? I don't get these people. (HAHAHA How many months have your cats been with you?) She wants a long one, he thinks a short one is better. (HAHAHA you know you thought of it too, squeeglets) So that they can be closer. Nam isn't even reacting anymore. Has he died? They discuss the color of that thing and of course, he finds another chance to touch her again. I think they finally settle for a black one.
JoAnne: Yeah. You will be coughing up cat hair soon enough. You'll need a roller, trust me.
becca: Even I have a roller, and my cats aren't even allowed in the house.
New slippers are next, ones with a higher heel. Busted, lady! He wants her to put them on and tells her he used to work as a shoe sales person. A few minutes ago, he told her he was working at a factory. He did both? Putting the shoes on her, he has another chance to finger parts of her body. (No, kakashi, stop, heeheeheehee.) I'm sorry. That sounds wrong. He also does a little shoe sales person thing - you know what? I'm sure your store would be empty within a few minute. Everybody would come buy stuff from you!
Mary: But everything must be bundled with an apple. (Also, I'm so proud and happy that he's now famous. After hearing all the part-time jobs he had to do... look at Rim now. He has people lining up to buy him a bidet.)
JoAnne: No, Mary, he has YOU lining up to buy him a bidet. But he is famous.
becca: Two people constitute a line, right? Because now bcook wants to do it, too. I saw them scheming.
Then, they move on to bathroom mats. Inquiring about his habits in the shower, she gives him an opening to remark that they have never showered together. Then, wallpaper. With two love-cats on it - representing the RimKim couple. She wants to give him a present! It's a thing to learn how to handle chopsticks correctly. Rim can't use them well. Of course, that thing is for toddlers. Look at how mischievous she looks :)
JoAnne: Really, how does he not... I mean, I guess it could be the equivalent of a toddler holding a spoon in a fist instead of with his fingers...
He has a present in turn: a cook book! So we're back to that, it seems? ^___^ As Mary said, she may try to gloss it over, but I think she is truly hurt (a little) by his verbal barbs. Remember how she was worried she wouldn't be a good wife? She was serious then! But Rim thinks her embarrassment is cute. And because he likes those unguarded expressions, he keeps provoking her. Hmmmm ....
Mary: His style of wooing is totally a 9 year-old's. Hahaha
JoAnne: The cooking joke should stop, I agree. It's done. And she does want to do well. He already embarrassed her by not recognizing her in that first episode, so he shouldn't do things to make her look bad.
becca: Yes. Thank you. *smacks Rim upside the head for being such a boy*
"My heart is an entrance", is what he says next ... but what is it that he is pressing on his chest? (On the right hand side, first, pffft). Whatever it is, he considers it "an automatic door" to her. Also, he finds a sticker that says "heater is on". He puts it on his chest too. Nam dies. (HAHAHA I like it when Rim's comments kill him. It just shows that Rim's cheesiness transcends gender!)
JoAnne: His heater's on, my motor's running...
becca: *chanting* Bro-mance! Bro-mance!
She starts playing with a plastic golf club (for children), which makes him comment that it fits her height. She doesn't like that either! So he ... hugs her. Like it's nothing. And then, he takes a plastic knife and holds it to her throat. From behind. Reallllly close. The poor girl is flustered once again! And admits to liking it. Yeah, what does "too fast" mean in this context anyway?
Mary: Heeheehee... don't ask me. I'm down here in the gutter.
JoAnne: I'm just sort of hyperventilating at the idea of him whispering in my ear.
becca: *swooning*
More fun items, like a plastic doctor's kit. "Raise your shirt", he suggests. Kinky. I do wonder about him, do you, Mary? She calls him a pervert for that suggestion, to which he goes: so all the doctors I've met are perverts? They always say that. And if you go to a urologist, he tells you to lower your pants. He also has a slight anal obsession, right? I think Freud would like to study this man in detail.
JoAnne: I don't think it's his ass he's fixated on, friends.

They spent 60$ on everything and start discussing their meal again, for which they spent 98$. What a perfect opening for him to criticise the Kimchee soup again! He apologizes though - by touching (even stroking?) her hair. He then says it was "new" and "fresh" (like eating abroad) - and touches her again, this time her cheek.
Suddenly, he claims something went into his eye. I don't trust him at all, but maybe it's true. She offers to blow on it and does so. That's an opportunity lost, Rim! Is he all talk, no action? Hmmm ...
He has a present for her, he declares: couple pants! She doesn't want striped ones! They are striped? Haha. So he got a pair of sunglasses, thought of her, and decided they would go well with striped pants.
Mary: I told you, when Rim was being created, God ran out of logic and just gave Rim extra cheese.
JoAnne: Ha, he's a 'Kraft'-y genius.  This will probably only make sense to Americans. Sorry. (Kraft is a brand of cheese.)

Back at "home", they go look for their cats. Kun is hiding. This is not at all relevant, is it? Maybe a bit more relevant that Rim has urgent toilet business, too? She's afraid to go in later, because of the smell. But his poop doesn't stink.
Mary: Maybe it has a fresh, apple smell.
JoAnne: Nothing worse than the smell of other people's poop, unless it's other people's poop smell covered up by artificial fruit or flower smell.

They then start decorating their home and look at that! We need to get this for mary!!! It's a huge poster of Mo. Quasi life-sized?! Haha, So-eun has the hots for this side of her husband too, but Rim claims he died after the drama. We've noticed, Rim. I don't think there's anybody more different than you and Mo.
Mary: Nooooooo~ My Il-hwa lives in my kokoro forever!
JoAnne: HAHAHAHAHAH  Is it like the TARDIS, Mary?
Manly ripping of price tags next. Hahaha. Less manly fiddling with his chopstick-learn-tool. He isn't convinced a man has to use chopsticks well to eat (see a song by DJ DOC)
Now it's time for the sunglasses! They're extremely ugly. He hands them to her ... together with honey bee shorts. Used ones. Unwashed. She thinks they're too big, too ... and he goes and checks her waist size. She looks ready to smack him one. And she looks a bit excited, too. His pair of glasses are the black (and more expensive) ones, which she wants for herself.
becca: He gave her is used, dirty pants. He is SUCH a little boy! He's lucky she hasn't killed him yet! *cackles*
He likes it. Hm, that's not an act. He thinks she's very pretty. Look at the way he looks at her! Full of admiration.
He gives her the black ones (reluctantly) and ... wants a hug in return. She doesn't give him one :( In private, he says that love means giving away things that are important to you - so he let her have them. Awwwwwww. (HAHAHA!! Rim is a drama-queen! ^_^)
Mary: :(((((((((( but the yellow ones look good on you too, Oppa.
JoAnne: No they don't, Mary.  And good for So Eun - if he's going to be like this, she might as well take advantage of it!

He knows how to give and how to take, though - because he totally takes some vitamins right away from her. That he follows with a question: what part of gummy bears does she eat first? The head of course. Who doesn't!!! (I don't! This makes me sad! I don't bite gummy bears!) (I bite their feet,  then their hands, and then their heads.  Okay not gummy bears but graham bears and gingerbread men.) (I go for the swift decapitation, myself. It's more human than Jo's slow torture or just popping them in whole - how would YOU like to be conscious as a giant chews you up? Huh??) But that's just another proof for how compatible they are. And both of them want that from a mate: compatibility! High five!
Mary: We need to post this gummy bear video every time we talk about gummy bears though.
becca: Ohhh dear. The little pervy gummy bear is back.
They hang up pictures next and the hosts get a bit swoony over "a man hammering". (heehee) Rim says a wife should wipe her husband's sweat if he does labor like this. She does. With her hand. She is quickly catching on. She is going to be addicted to his pushy-skinshippy-ways. And another hug from him.
JoAnne: Of course. Or maybe she figures he's playing it up for the camera and she figures she'll turn the tables and REALLY make him fall for her. WGM - Liar Game Edition
A bit later, Olla comes out to see what the humans are doing (putting up the cat wallpaper stickers). Rim: "Ah, they can't be separated. Like us". Nam: *dies*. (Mary: *dying laughing*) (*whispers* Brooooomaaaaance) Rim is of course sitting behind So-eun so that he kinda embraces her when he puts his hands to the wall.
Mary: And he starts humming Unchained Melody hahahahaha this guy, I SWEAR.
JoAnne: How could you not love him? He's going to be the MOST embarrassing dad, you watch.
becca: I'm watching! Bring on the adorable kiddos!
He then picks up Olla and SNUGGLES. Oh god. Okay, Rim, I am the hardest nut to crack among these ladies, but NOW you have me. (btw: I want that Mo poster) (Is that a hint?)
JoAnne: She's going to put it in her office at the top of the house and never come downstairs again except for whiskey!
She takes out the selfie-stick - and he tells her that other couples did a bed-shoot. She's like ... no, we're just doing a sofa-selfie. After which he just lies down on the sofa - and tries to get her to lie down with him. In truth, I wouldn't lie down with this guy either, So-eun. We know what all that snuggling would lead into.
Mary: HEEHEEHEE. Show us, PD-nim! Stop keeping the best parts to yourselves!
JoAnne: Put in a good word for us, Baek PD!


She is thawing. And he is getting harder to resist. Maybe they'll meet without cameras and outside the WGM schedule soon to test a few, you know, things?
Mary: *packing bags* On my way. We need to see this.
JoAnne: Ok, look. We'll wire money to Dewaanie, so she can bail Mary out.  I think Shel has her number, maybe?