JoAnne: Yes, after the first episode, which I didn't much enjoy - it left me feeling uninterested - I have to agree. This show has heart and warmth and an emotional balance that often seems difficult to find in KDrama.
Our last "Twenty Again" post was on marriage and most of what we observed still holds in my opinion (even though the husband becomes more and more hateful as time progresses because he just does not know how to treat his wife in an acceptable way and he will definitely not learn easily either, cause he is a thoroughly selfish being). But there is another, related topic emerging now that I want to share a few thoughts on: it's on the link between love and friendship.
What really, truly irks me about that man is his condescending, patronizing attitude. Everything about him screams, 'You're too stupid, so don't bother having a thought. I'll lay it all out for you, and you just follow my instructions.' He cloaks it all in concern for her well-being as well as his own but he absolutely does not give a shit about her unless it's for appearance's sake.
Here's a statement: there is no (true) love without friendship and no (true) friendship without love.
We can start arguing over this now, of course, but in the end, it will come down to how we define love and how we define friendship. In my opinion and experience, these two sentiments are very closely interwoven. Sure, you may love somebody you don't even know because of raging hormones and bodily desires but this love will not last very long if it does not get any backup from trust - and ultimately friendship. Sure, you can love your kids just because they're your kids, but if there is not a sense of bonding, a sense of being able to rely on each other, that love will be too one-dimensional (and ultimately sad). In sum, there are all kinds of degrees of love and degrees of friendship (and importantly, some are about sex, but most are not), but without the right mix of feelings, neither can be sustained.
You'll get no argument from me on this. Duh. I fear that we won't disagree on much in this post. Makes for a boring read?
(Well. To a degree - yeah, you're right, it depends how much you have put into the relationship.) Hyun-Suk and No-Ra were really good friends back in High School ... we get to see that in those flashbacks. It's a kind of friendship that's extremely valuable to have because the other gives you something you don't have in your own life. Back then, No-Ra was such a bubbly person, she did not fully realize the value of what they had (and she even temporarily forgot all about it: “I think I’ve forgotten things on purpose all this time” - because remembering hurt.). But Hyun-Suk always knew. He talks about her as his first love to his producer hoobae (I am so grateful she is not made into the classical jealous 2nd lead in this) and he knows that she gave him the courage to become what he is today, despite all the discouragement he got at school. And he saw something in her others did not see as clearly: immense artistic potential.
They do a wonderful job of conveying that kind of deep friendship that can hit you like lightning, sometimes - you meet someone and everything clicks. It's like that pheromone blast of falling in love at first sight, but without the pheromones. Those friendships do sometimes fizzle out like a hot a romance, but if you're lucky, really lucky - they last, because you found an actual soul-mate.
This is the only real weak spot in the story for me. It works from the perspective of needing him to have a reason to be angry, but come on. These close close friends of hers had no idea she'd met someone, let along gotten pregnant? Leaving for Germany, she was VERY pregnant. You're telling me that in all those months, she never confided to any of her bosom pals that she was seeing someone, sleeping with him, pregnant by him, marrying him, leaving the country? She just abandoned her grandmother outright? They didn't keep in touch? I don't buy it. Don't get me wrong: I believe it happened. I just think it's badly plotted.
I think there will be more on this, later? We haven't seen the grandma story yet. But yes, you're right. It's a bit of a stretch.
This is a believeable reaction. He's petty and butthurt, but it's because he cared about her so much. The minute he learns that she's suffering, though, he can let all of it go and simply care about his friend, again. I'm sure he was looking for an excuse, deep down.
Yeah, he seemed pretty cool back then, too. Maybe the difference then and now is that while he was always cool and always determined to do things his own way, back then he suffered for it and perhaps felt a bit of worry, and now he's successful enough to know that the negativity won't win.
To me, there's nothing as sexy as a wo/man who knows exactly what they want - and go for it, not caring at all about what others think. I would have fallen in love with high school Cha for sure.
This whole sequence of the four friends going back to relive their high school days was completely charming, and you raise a good point with her forgetfulness. We can find ourselves in situations where we actually forget that things can be better, because we're so focused on getting through the day. In this way, we conveniently 'forget' that we actually are unhappy. I sincerely hope that as No Ra wakes up, she doesn't just make cosmetic changes focused on staying in that stifling box of a marriage, because nothing they've shown us yet give me any reason to think that they ever should have married in the first place.
Wherever we go from here, their relationship is built on friendship - and that's the best kind of basis to have. If they become lovers, I will be happy - but I am fully okay with them staying this type of friends too, unless that's going to hurt him. And I do want to see him act like a high schooler in love again (people in love are the same every age they're in, but there's something especially endearing with those teenage loves) - and I demand that they go to that club every week to dance to awesome 90's KPop.
Again, agreed. Whether a romance comes of it or not, the fact that they've reconnected is good. I hope life doesn't get in the way of it again. In fact, I want all four of them to continue with the friendship, now that they've rediscovered each other as a group.
Maybe. I think there's hope for Min Soo to be more his mother's son, but the girl... it's not that her demands are unreasonable, but I think she's a little too manipulative, a little too focused on experiences and not enough focused on actual human feeling. She picked him not because she liked him, but because she liked the way he looked. She created that situation at the MT because she wanted to 'win' that guy that was being talked about. And now she has a whole list of things she wants to do (and be seen doing), none of which actually reflect any consideration for the person she has chosen to do them with. I'm not sure I'm going to like her, I guess.
I dislike Yi Jin quite a bit. She's an idiot, first off. I can't wait to see what happens when life collides with her theories. Secondly, you don't enter into relationships with married men. No matter what they tell you. And if you do, you get what you deserve - so I won't feel sorry for her when it blows up in her face. Woo Chul is a pompous ass who tells himself he's being good to No Ra when he's actually thoughtless and cruel. You cannot reduce everything to logic, but when you do, at least your logic should be correct. He doesn't even know his own wife. What kind of a psychologist is he?
I love how offended he is by the adultery. How dare anyone cheat on No Ra, who was so amazing a person? His outrage is real.
Hear, hear! I definitely don't want her back with her husband; they haven't given us any reason to want it. We saw a brief, hormonal moment on a beach. Nothing else. No early days full of love that gradually drifted into this relatively polite wasteland, nothing that we could latch on to and say oh, they did love each other once. So I'm all for No Ra and Hyun Suk, as friends or lovers or both.