Ice Fantasy 幻城 - Episode 34 (Recap)

kakashi: What the .... Kasuo has found a rebound already?! That's scandalous! Actually, this episode is scandalous, but not because of Kasuo. Because of how Lan Shang is treated. I know I've hated on her, but she did not deserve this.  
SakiVI: No, although I partially blame her amazing foolishness and greed for making it possible to treat her like this. Still, the actual fault of the wrong done lies with others.
JoAnne: Agreed. Even idiots have rights.

Episode 34

"The most insane God of the three realms" has broken out of his prison! We are lucky that the Ice King (who, I thought, went to that island himself?) knows a bit more about that former prisoner, though not much: he's been there for a long time and it always was a great secret. He is a mysterious and insane immortal of an ancient tribe .... three guesses which one!
YES! The Ice Flame Tribe. Omo! I am shocked! He is also more powerful than Icelings and Firelings and because he's so ancient and has been a prisoner for so long, his name is no longer known to anyone. 
Of course that's how he rolls: incognito.
Okay, fine, no name - but they didn't forget he existed, right? How did he get flowers or whatever it is he lives on?
I do think they forgot he existed. He must have been REALLY hungry. And angry. Hangry.

Lord Dreamer suggests that darn it! That crazy God might be behind all the recent mishap, including Xuan Ta's murder, but how come Shi claimed it was a Fire Assassin? Yeah, how come... Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Kasuo firmly believes in his bro and his good intentions. Sorry, darling: you're the only one.
Why is it not possible that he'd be behind it, but have someone doing his dirty work on the ground? He's locked up, right?
Kasuo busts into Shi's chambers, but he - to everybody's surprise - ain't there. Yes, because he is on Cherry Popping Island with Lan Shang, impersonating Kasuo. Booooooo! She dances for him all sexily. Goddamit, girl, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! Boo as well! Have some goddman dignity!!
So greedy to take Li Luo's place. 
What is going through her head? Ooooh, all of a sudden he's into me? Dumb ass bimbo mermaid.
These aren't even hard dance moves.
Anyone who's ever worn panty hose has made those moves.
The horrible dancing goes on and on (I cringed so hard I almost got a cramp). Faux-Kasuo watches her lustily like this.
Is that what passes for lust in the Ice Tribe? Okay then.
Shi is acting interested, right?
I must have missed that second.
She then grabs him to dance with her and they laugh and are merry. Then this happens (a plastic flower falls on her lips):
For the VERY first time, I find her pretty.
She is EXTREMELY pretty.  She just plays a total dummy, and that's off-putting.
Then this. Hahaaaaa ... did you think he'd kiss her?
The BTS was hilarious. Both actors were so embarrassed.
'Oh! I seem to have a flower stuck to my lips!' Lan Shang flutters her lashes and giggles. (which is difficult with your lips closed, so skillz.) 'I'll take care of it, my helpless beauty!' KaShi (ShiKa?) reassures her in a very gentle (but manly! So manly!) way. He slowly arranges his face so that his nose does not accidentally touch hers (because cooties, of course) and presses his carefully rouged lips against the tiniest sliver of petal possible. As soon as he can, he blows the filthy flower out and away from him, unable to bear even the thought of touching it with his hands. His eyes show none of his anxiety over this contact, thanks to a prophylactic dose of mood stabilizers. 'Oh good,' he thinks. 'My cover as a hetero male who is totally into this babe is completely safe even though that was grooooooosss.'
ROFL now!
Faux Kasuo promises to marry her after he gets his powers back and the silly girl believes him. He gives her a necklace as token of his love ... and then asks for her Teardrop Charm as token of hers. She smiles shyly. And then she tells him how the Teardrop Charm is produced: When mermaids lose their virginity and get permanent legs, a tear falls at that moment of intense pain and bliss. What if they don't get bliss? Ugly legs, and one is always shorter than the other so they have this weird stomp-y walkIt won't turn into a pearl, but into the Charm. When Shi realizes what's expected of him to get that Teardrop Charm he freaks out - and he runs away, eventually turning back into Shi.
Who here beside me pictured him fleeing pell-mell, hands waving madly in the air, shrieking like a soon-to-die virgin in a horror movie?
It was close to that image, yes.
Oh, well that is sweet. He had no idea, actually.
But if you thought Lan Shang is safe now, you are mistaken! The horrible Shuo Gang has followed them onto the island and has overheard everything. As soon as he gets the opportunity, he approaches Lan Shang from behind and blindfolds her.  He pretends to be Kasuo (without saying a single word) and the stupid ninny doesn't realize he is not. "Stupid ninny" is exactly right. She thinks he is mad at her (why??! See, so stupid. There is no reason to think Kasuo is mad at her. Anyone with a brain and some self-esteem would think he's moody.) and declares she is now ready to sleep with him since he promised to marry her. To "prove" how deeply he feels for her, he puts her hand onto his heart - it's so disgusting!!!! - and she's actually overjoyed to feel it.
It doesn't occur to her even once to ask why she should be blindfolded for all this.
Whatever floats your boat, on that part.... but on everything else: Shuo Gang has to die.
He's not rough though, at least. Still, I'm so sorry, Lan Shang :(((( After he's finished, he takes the Teardrop Charm and disappears, without a word. Like father, like son. Actually, the son is worse. Flame at least pretended to be in love with Lian Ji and courted her for quite some time. What Shuo Gang did is almost as vile as rape.
It's rape. Lan Shang consented to Kasuo, even if he didn't actually offer, not to Shuo Gang.
I have to agree with Saki on that point. Permission for one is not permission for all.
After she wakes up, she's first and foremost happy about her permanent legs and happy to find a Teardrop Charm (so .... every Mermaid cries two? Always a point of confusion since the Fire men gloat over having them and the Ice King demanded one but the Mermaids all own them.). She then runs around the island in search of her lover Kasuo - but she only finds Shi. He lies about having been sent by his brother to pick her up - and is really puzzled about how happy she is.
Of course, kings get sent to pick up their subjects' fangirls all the time - not.
In the meantime, Kasuo realizes that there's something in the forest, something Qin Chu wants to keep a secret. Straight to the forest he heads! Where he runs into Li Luo-Beast, who is just about to kill this puppy. Seriously, show. That's a meant little trick. Don't show us puppies that are eaten.
Maybe it was snugged a lot later?
Oh the precious little baby - and he really looks scared. What did they do to him on that set? He seems kind of young to be taught a trick like 'act cowed'.
Maybe they picked a timid puppy.  It seems rather cruel, though.
She attacks and almost kills Kasuo. Hmm, did he fight back? I'm not sure, but some time later, she wakes up next to him and immediately worries she might have killed him. But no. Her sobbing wakes him up - and they're happily reunited! She is a beast? He does not care! He will accompany her to the forest every night and wait for her every morning. I don't care what you mean people say - I still like these two.
I like them, too. Well, I like her, and she likes Kasuo, and he's bearable when they're together and happy, so...
Later, Lan Shang, Shi and the Tribe Heads are enjoying an outing. Pian Feng and the Bear play soccer - a warm-up for later. They're expecting Kasuo to join them! Shi set this up to make his brother happy. They're not allowed to mention Li Luo though, since everybody considers this to be his open wound. And here he comes! He is so happy! He says he has an announcement to make (Lan Shang gets all giddy) ... he will get married! To ... Li Luo! Flabbergasted, Lan Shang screams "No!" She babbles about him coming to her in the night and making her believe she's the only one, and everyone (but Shi) is like: WTH? She slaps Kasuo, exclaims how much he hates him and storms off.
Man. That's gotta hurt. You're an idiot, Lan Shang, but damn - you did not deserve this. And since Shi put her in a position where Shuo Gang could take advantage of her the way he did - I say it's on him to fix, somehow. I know, it can't be fixed. What's done is done - but she needs apologies and he had better give her one.
Of course, she's absolutely heartbroken, feels utterly betrayed and badly used. She was, yes. But not by Kasuo. Sobbing and sobbing, she sits at the ocean's edge and doesn't realize that Kasuo stands right behind her. He hugs her though and when she turns around, he changes into Shi right in front of her eyes. That makes her realize it was him on that island with her all along - and he in turn realizes somebody else was on that island and made her lose her fishtail. He can say what he wants though, she does not believe that it wasn't him who dishonored her.
Poor girl. This is so sad.
It's very sad but she does need to calm down (ha I wrote clam down at first) and think about it - she'll realize Shi isn't lying and then maybe they can work together to catch the bastard who DID do it.
A little hard to calm down when you don't know who took your fishtail and tear drop charm.
More drama in the Snowmist Forest. It's Lian Ji on the prowl, looking fabulous. She encounters the little investigator fairies - asks them to tell her everything they know ... and then kills them. Right before they are no more, the little chatterboxes have informed her that apart from Xing Jui, there is one other who knows a looooot. Li Luo.
I hope Li Luo beasts out and has her for dinner.
Shaken by Lan Shang's hatred, Shi has returned to Cherry Popping Island (I giggle every time you say this), to look for evidence of the Cherry Popper. And he finds it. In the form of a singed leaf. That burns to ash when he touches it. Iz Fire Tribe magiz.
Which now no longer exists. Thanks, Shi.
I like his eyeshadow.
It matches his upper forehead.


Damn, show. You go places I do not expect Chinese drama to go. It's quite clear that this episode is a turning point - it's the harbinger of (more) doom, so to speak. Lan Shang's future has been destroyed completely and Shi is to blame, if not fully, then partially. In fact, everything that Shi does seems to harm people around him, it's almost as if he's cursed! No wonder, seeing who most likely is his true father ... and ancient, completely insane god? Maybe Flame is the better option after all.
Ice King should've just accepted Shi and everyone would've been happy.
Gee, if only there had been a group of people who could have warned everyone about all the bad things to come if Shi became king...

Kasuo and Li Luo might have overcome their furry difficulties (for now), but does anybody here believe that will last? Well, I don't. She's next on Lian Ji's hit list and as villains go, this woman is actually quite effective. Other villains (looking at Lu and Hendry and the other idiots in Nine Gates) could learn something from her.
Lian Ji is efficient. And smart, if crazy. I can't help but respect her mind as well as her fashion.
She is viciously beautiful, it's true. I bet Lan Shang would join her except that, you know, Shi.

As for Lan Shang ... I get the feeling that we're going to see a slightly different face of hers going forward. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Dress warmly, Shi. 
Good thing too, because she's been way too silly for way too long. 
She will make the oceans boil with her rage. I hope. And I also hope that that slime weasel Shuo Gang does not survive until the end of this drama.