Ice Fantasy 幻城 - Episode 58 (Recap)

kakashi: In an incredibly twist, they .... no. I lie. They still don't know about the switch. But we're having a competition for Lan Shang's hand! And endless discussion about who is going to kill whom, potentially.
SakiVI: I didn't bother rewatching this one.
JoAnne: Is the Power of Emo making Kasuo's hair darker? Where are the blue eyes?

Episode 58

So, Kasuo will compete if he has to - Li Luo vehemently objects. She is jealous. She knows Lan Shang likes Kasuo and she thinks it will send the wrong signal. You could say that, yes. But things are complicated, aren't they? Kasuo vows to not marry Lan Shang but he would also not withdraw from the competition just for his wife's sake. Yeah, well ... it's kinda important that Lan Shang does not have to marry Flame, okay? This is bigger than you, Li Luo. She says she will just have to make sure he won't have to compete. Fine.
I understood absolutely nothing about any of that. I don't think either of you did, and I think by this point the actors have to get so drunk just to get through the day that they couldn't follow it, either.
Fire Shi and Yan Da talk on one of the ice balconies. About how Shi will kill Kasuo. We have heard this so many damn times. For the Shi-YanDa shippers, this is great though. Yes! Sadly, she is still under Phoenix's spell and can't say what she really wants to say.
Phoenix is a weasel.
Can she write it? Could she take a leaf from those lying kids and say 'let's have opposite day?'
Li Luo speaks to the Mermaid Saint next - she wants the Sirens to compete. Something she shouldn't know about, of course, because they're a secret. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* *beat the dead horse*
I bet everyone knows about the Sirens.
I certainly do.
I know in general, but did they ever mention them here?
Flame is still thinking and talking (a lot of talking) about how to become ruler over the three realms. Yan Da thinks he is "up to something". I really think so too!
At least he's handsome.
Next week they introduce a Not-Flame without facial hair and we all fuss over not liking it for a hot minute but it's lies, we like him smooth too.
It's the day of the competition! OMG, I'm so excited! Important point: Kasuo isn't even showing up. Good boy. The only competitor on Flame's side is Phoenix but there are many, many other people fighting for the hand of the most beautiful princess.
She certainly is lovely, especially with a go-getter, tougher personality.
There's a drawing of lots - only if you catch one can you compete. The lots fly around - they're really tricksy things! Dreamer catches one with his dream cube (show us your abs, please No Yesssss) and Phoenix ..... catches the rest. Hahahahaaaaaaaaa, that was smart. And will shorten the time we have to spend on boring fights. It's down to Phoenix vs. Dreamer....
Boom boom shakalaka, Dreamer wins because he is cool like that (yes, Saki, he is).
He's fine when he's not snooping. Also, looking cool vs Phoenix is a low bar.
He looks cool vs. a lot of people. He's way cooler than Kasuo and better looking/more useful than Shi.
Shi is extremely useful and the smartest person here.  He can't help having been brought back from the dead, being gay for his brother, and having amnesia. Plus, Dreamer is just not cool. Sorry, girls, but he isn't.  Too prissy.
"Hold it", says Flame, after Dreamer is announced as the winner. He has another candidate. Guess whom. Three guesses!
Correct! It's Flame himself. Oh, did you think it was Shi? Nobody saw that coming, amazing.
Flame has always been thirsty for the Mermaid Princess.
Wow, his hair and make-up do not hold up to daylight at all. Particularly those 'hollow' cheeks. His wig looks like a near-by match would melt it into a solid sheet.
Now, what Dreamer doesn't know (but we do) is that Flame has been gobbling up many souls for breakfast, lunch and dinner and is very, very powerful. Lots of fighting and dream casting, but Flame manages to lock Dreamer into the Desperadom! Yes, that thing Kasuo was in maaaaaaany, many episodes ago? They disappear.
You'd think they'd have figured a way out of Desperadom by now.
We cut to the throne room, the Deicide, Kasuo and Fire Shi with mask and cape, who tells Kasuo about Flame's latest move. Kasuo heads out to help - he has no fear of losing his powers again. Fire Shi is impressed, if I read his expression behind the incredible mask correctly.
Guess who appears in Desperadom, to torture Dreamer? His sister, of course. Xing Gui is all smiles, but Xing Jiu knows this isn't real, cannot be real. His sister is dead, so this is fake. The fake Xing Gui doesn't care and starts torturing her brother. She is bearing a grudge. But he is all: "Just kill me so that I can be with you again".
Kill the incestuous freak!
Not everything is about sex! (Coming from me that is saying something, I know...)
Nah, these two are creepy.
Kasuo appears at the scene, to see what's going on. Everybody is out looking for Xing Jiu. They decide to take Yan Da prisoner to find out how to break into Desperadom. Wait, the only one who ever did break in was Shi back in the day! Yan Da knows nothing.
Leave Yan Da alone! Then again, maybe Kasuo could fix that pesky silence spell on her.
Or update her look a little bit, not that he's any better...but his women are, at least.
Her look is metal-fab.  No messing with it. 
Lan Shang says "if only Ying Kong Shi was here". Yes, if only. They're all "shame he can never come home", but Kasuo says: he is here. Before he gave him back Li Luo's ring, he sealed a part of his soul inside the ring (Kasuo and the show are just making this up as we go along, right? No, I think we were told this after Shi died.). Kasuo wants to release it and thusly find a way into Desperadom.
Hmm, sure, why not. 
These people have been out in the cold for far too long.
Kasuo magicks the ring and just when Dreamer thinks he can die to be free of pain and grief, Shi's most precious memory comes out of the ring (Fire Shi is like "Why did I put it there in the first place if I've always hated Kasuo?"And why don't you just kill Kasuo? Hint, the answer is you are gay for him.) and makes Desperadom visible. Kasuo flies up and hacks away at it with the Deicide. Xing Gui disappears, Xing Jiu has his powers back and attacks Flame. It looks exhausting.
I wonder if he gets sweaty and broken out under that mask.
Nope!  He's perfect like that. 
Dreamer falls from the sky. He is badly hurt and very weak, but he is out. Flame, also back, says "you have lost". Kasuo says: leave the rest to me. Flame thinks this is going to plan, because now, Kasuo fights for another woman in front of everyone! Hardiharhar!
Or just kill Kasuo.
Not so fast, dudes. Lan Shang steps in between - she will judge who the winner is. It is Flame! Kasuo already has his queen, Kasuo is disqualified. Lan Shang will go to the Fire Tribe. So ......... sorry to ask, but what about those Sirens? Is THIS Li Luo's great plan?!
The Sirens are always promised but never shown. Probably they aren't that interesting.
She should have just gone with him in the first place, I guess.
Ah, no, she grabs a little knife and attacks Flame. Very smart. She is OF COURSE wounded in the process. Remember what mortal blood does to immortals? Yes, it makes them powerless for a bit. But the real turning point is Shi stepping in. He wants to fight against Flame.
Why? Isn't he on Flame's side these days?
Well, Flame has no powers left, so it's back to fighting like the mortals do. Shi whispers to Flame that he has to lose if he wants to see Kasuo's corpse tonight. Promises, promises. Flame loses, Fire Shi wins. Lan Shang collapses due to a cold spell attack (Frozen Syndrome is what it's called), but at least she doesn't have to go marry Flame. Oh wait, does she have to marry Shi?!
She should marry him, he's so cute.
Look! The mask doesn't just stick on by itself, even though the eye pieces did!
As before, Shi saves her, this time in front of everyone. Who is this person, they ask themselves?


And the point of all this was ....?
To drag things out and get the actors their contracted screentime.
There are still pieces of my soul left, so they can't stop.