Fanfiction: Mo Yuan and Shao Wan - Chapter 38.5 (Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms 三生三世十里桃花)

Chapter 38.5

written by Miniorchid
consulting by Juls
edited by kakashi

At nightfall, when everyone had retired to their rooms and the only sound was the wind howling on the mountain, Yan Zhi felt confident enough to leave the comfort of her chamber. Qiao Er was fast asleep; the poor but happy child had exhausted herself under the care of Zi Lan’s seniors while Yan Zhi had recuperated from her injuries. They had given Qiao Er all the attention she had never known she could get, which meant that Yan Zhi had been able to relax for the first time in what seemed forever. But this was not a time to dwell on her own needs. She had a mission tonight.

Yan Zhi walked through the dark passages. The moon was rising late tonight, it was pitch black outside - but immortals from the Ghost tribe were comfortable in the darkness. Low light had always been an advantage to her clan, especially during combat and spy missions, because they could take opponents from other clans by surprise easily. Finding what she sought would not be hard under these conditions. She only hoped her mission would be completed swiftly without any further incidents.    

She knew she shouldn’t return, but she had no other choice. What happened today was a mistake, an unfortunate incident, an embarrassment to both of them. Luckily, it was only Si Yin who had barged in. She was sure Si Yin wouldn’t gossip to others about what she had witnessed. Yan Zhi couldn’t have predicted that a moment of weakness would have such drastic consequences. How could she face Zi Lan now? Would he want to pursue the matter further?

With these thoughts in her head, she had to take a deep breath before she could gather the courage to enter his room for the second time today. Cautiously, she moved towards his bed within the dark, unlit room. When Yan Zhi reached the bed, she was relieved that Zi Lan was sound asleep. Now, the real mission was to find what she had left behind.

She searched the surroundings of his bed, praying for luck to be on her side - alas, she was not that fortunate. If only her powers were not suppressed on this mountain, she could have moved in and out swiftly, or could have even conjured what she sought. Turning her attention to his bed, she dreaded what she had to do next. Hovering over Zi Lan, she tried to lift the edge of his blanket, carefully, slowly.

Without warning, his hand shot out and caught her wrist. Zi Lan’s eyes were wide open, staring into hers.     

“Yan Zhi,” he said.

This was not her day. She had made another miscalculation. She should not have returned. If only she had never entered his room earlier today, things would not have proceeded like they had. Could she turn back time, so her humiliation would be over and her dignity was intact?  


Earlier that day…..

For several days, Yan Zhi had inquired about Zi Lan’s condition from his seniors. They had told her he was recuperating well, and there was no need to be concerned. But the memory of his collapse when they had arrived at Kunlun still alarmed her. He had been severely injured because he had taken blows that were meant for Qiao Er and herself.

She knew he had never left, the foolish man, despite her wish to severe their ties. He had been hiding in the bamboo forest, like a phantom, never straying too far in case more assassins would appear. He was forever playing the hero, a hero she could no longer accept. He had repeatedly made contact with Qiao Er, even bribed her for rice buns. Why he craved her inedible rice buns so much she would never know. She had turned a blind eye to their meetings, because it brought joy to Qiao Er. She had also tried to improve the rice buns, but in vain.

Now that he was injured, Qiao Er asked about him daily, but he needed to recuperate more, they were told. However, it had come the time when Yan Zhi couldn’t wait any longer. She had to see Zi Lan in person to assure herself his condition was stable. She had gone to his room when no one was present and found him soundly asleep. She sat next to him and checked his forehead, only to find that his skin was on fire and he was sweating profusely. Wanting to comfort him, she went and got cold water but she could not find a towel in the room. She didn’t want to ask his seniors, so instead, she dipped her hands in the water, and soothed him with her touch, hoping that under her care, his suffering would lessen.

His anguished face tugged at her heartstrings. Zi Lan must be having a nightmare, she deduced. She caressed his face, and without thinking, she brushed her lips against his, wishing the small chaste kiss would take away his demons. She realized her mistake when Zi Lan captured her in his arms and flipped her over, lying on top of her. She could feel that his body was fiery hot when he buried his face into her neck. But then, his hot breath ignited a fire within her she had thought lay dormant. Anxiously, she pressed her hands against his chest, wanting to push him away, but she felt his hot tongue tasting the nape of her neck, making her gasp.

Her will to stop him was further diminished when he caught her earlobe between his teeth. Her body shuddered in response as his mouth traveled down her neck, sucking and licking, leaving nothing untouched. Pleasure shot through her, as her body was submerged in waves of unprecedented desire. How long has it been since she had been held like this? As he felt her through the layers of silk and caressed her body that had not been touched for thousands of millennia, she could only surrender.

When he started to remove her clothes, Zi Lan went slowly, as though he had all the time in the world, while her body shook with anticipation for his touch, even when her mind told her to resist. Had he taken her by force, she could have resisted, but his slow meticulous caressing and teasing when he stripped her made her want him even more. She had pulled his mouth onto her chest, and he knew what she wanted without words and had complied by tasting her exposed skin, making her squirm with pleasure.  

She heard him growl when he couldn’t remove her xin yi, but it didn’t stop him from exploring her backside to find the strappings soon after. With articulate skill and patience she never knew existed, he slowly removed her strappings, never taking his eyes off her, as though he needed her consent and confirmation. She could barely breathe when he finally completed his task, but he didn’t remove her xin yi when it was within his reach. Instead, he continued to tease, making her beg, when his hands played with her body over her silk barrier.          

She was aching and empty, so empty. She grew moist, and that’s when he grabbed her bottom and pressed the ridge of his manhood against her throbbing core. She cried out, and due to her ferocious need, she clung to him, bit him and tasted him. She rocked her body against his and he responded with desperation of his own. When she thought he would finally fill her emptiness, he had pulled back and turned his attention to her breasts. She could only whimper and shudder under his care, as he laid claim to them, marking them, branding them as his own. His tongue and lips ravished her thoroughly, as she begged him to be inside her because she could no longer wait.

Her body trembled when Zi Lan released her breasts and climbed over her. His eyes filled with tenderness and care as he gazed into her eyes. He held her face in his palm as he brushed his thumb over her quivering lips. He had yet to lay claim to them - they had never kissed before, even once.

But before they could experience their first times, Si Yin had interrupted them. It wasn’t the untimely intrusion that brought the biggest humiliation upon her. No - the moment Si Yin called out, Zi Lan’s eyes opened and she saw they were distressed and full of regrets; he did not intend to embrace her after all. Reality struck her as she registered what she had almost allowed to occur. Mortified, she pushed him off and ran as fast as her feet could take her. She could never face him again after the intimacy she had consented to, the intimacy he never desired. What would he think of her now? How can a moment of weakness have such dire consequences?


Present time……

“Yan Zhi.”  

“You’re awake!” She tried to pull back, but he held on, his grip tight.

He sat up and grabbed her other wrist, holding her hostage within his grasp. “Of course, I’ve waited for you.”

“Let me go!” she tried to pull away.

“Not until we talk,” he told her firmly.  

“Release me or I will…,” with enough force, she pulled her right wrist away, pulling him forward.

At the sound of his painful grunt, she stopped pulling. “Zi Lan, are you alright?” she asked anxiously, touching his chest.

Zi Lan took the opportunity to grab her waist and turn her around, pulling her down so that she sat in with her back against his chest. Hugging her from behind, he held onto her waist and arm.

“If you struggle, you’ll hurt me,” he warned her.  

“You’re taking advantage of the situation,” she accused him, angry now.  

“I am,” he admitted without remorse.  

Still struggling and outraged, she asked, “When did you become a rogue?”

He held her even closer, his lips close to her ears. “Just now. Being a hero no longer has its benefits. And I heard you don’t like heroes,” he whispered, making her blush.  

“You...” she turned her head, a mistake, because their lips nearly touched. She quickly turned away.  

She heard him sigh. “I just want to talk, Yan Zhi. Stop struggling, unless you want to hurt me again. My head is still bruised from earlier.”  

Although she stopped struggling, she kept silent. It was a mistake to have come here. She knew what he wanted to talk about, but she was not ready. Not tonight, not like this, not when her mind still could not comprehend what has transpired between them. She didn’t want to hear his regrets or his apologies. Her pride was already damaged enough as it is.

“Yan Zhi, I know what you’re looking for,” she heard him say. “Once we talk, I’ll give it to you,” he bargained.

Even now, he had the upper hand. When had he become this brazen? Why wouldn’t he let her have her dignity?     

And he was too close, he made her unable to think straight, with his body pressed against her own in the pitch darkness of the room, engulfing her senses with his warmth. She closed her eyes in defeat. It was best to get this over with, she concluded, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation will be. “What do you want to talk about?” she asked him, even though she dreaded what he was about to say.  

“How is Qiao Er?”

Her eyes opened. What?

“Yan Zhi, how is Qiao Er?” he repeated, “I have been recovering here for a few days now, how is she adjusting?”   

“She’s doing well,” she told him.

“Is she still having nightmares?” he asked.

“How did you…?”

“I always knew.” Why was she surprised? Of course he did, he had never left them. He knew all along Qiao Er had nightmares ever since the day the assassins arrived in their lives.      

Feeling more at ease with the current topic, her body relaxed a little. “She didn’t have nightmares for two nights now, she’s doing better. Your 10th and 7th seniors took her to see the waterfalls to cheer her up. She loves the cranes here.”

“They did?” he laughed out loud.

Perplexed at his laughter, she asked, “Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing. What else?”

“Your 4th senior is teaching her how to count, she loves numbers.”

“4th would be a perfect Shifu for her, he is excellent when it comes to calculations! I am not surprised that he took a liking to Qiao Er. What else has Qiao Er done?”

Zi Lan continued to ask more about their daily activities. So she told him how his seniors had surprised Qiao Er with treats and tokens. Although she received many gifts from his seniors, it was 4th’s gift that made Qiao Er most delighted. It was a small abacus that she now carried around, making calculations of Kunlun’s inventory or whatever else caught her fancy. One senior had brought over a change of clothes for them. Though her own dress was dark blue, Qiao Er’s was pure white, matching the disciples’ attire. She had become a white dove at Kunlun they said, so they decided to call her “Little Dove”.     

“She never had so much attention before,” Yan Zhi said, her words almost choking her.

“It’s not every day we have a young beauty reside here. My seniors love to dote on children, and Little Dove is a fitting name for her.” She felt Zi Lan loosen his grip because she had relaxed against him.  

“She’s so happy now…,” Yan Zhi felt tears sting her eyes, but she closed them and held back the emotions that were stirring within her.

Zi Lan must have caught her tone, because he held her closer again. “Yan Zhi…,” he whispered.

“No, let me go!” she told him with a slight panic in her voice.

His head on her shoulders, he squeezed her hands. “Yan Zhi, I won’t let you go again.”  

She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”


“Because everyone I cared for has left me,” she blurted out, regretting her words as soon as they came out.    

“I won’t.”   

“You almost died.”  

“I didn’t.”

“But you could have.”

“Yan Zhi...”

“Let’s not tempt fate,” she disentangled herself from his arms and despite of his reluctance, he let her go. Standing before him, she held out her hand. “We’re done talking.”

Zi Lan pulled out her red jasmine embroidered xin yi from under the blanket. She quickly grabbed it from him, but his hand held her wrist again.

His eyes bore into hers. “I won’t let fear of fate decide our destiny. I will never let you go. No matter where you’ll be, mortal or immortal realm….Yan Zhi, I will always find you.”

With those words, Zi Lan let go of her wrist; allowing her to leave the darkness of his room, the warmth of his touch, the comfort of his words. It was no longer the mortification of what had occurred today that brought her discomfort, but the thoughts and words that had bared her soul to him tonight.

How could she put distance between them when he continued to capture her at her most vulnerable state? When would he realize that his attempts to make amends were guided by his guilt and duty rather than the desire of his heart? And when…..when would she learn to stop taking comfort in his presence?

It finally dawned on her, that it was not fate she most feared tonight, but herself.   

Chapter 38.75