The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 3 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which our group forms a Scooby Gang.
Trotwood: I know I was warned, but did we really need to watch so much pooping? Also, everyone was waiting for my comments about their cold weather prep, and they look pretty prepped to me. Lots of good thick layers, little hand coverings though.
kakashi: A very intriguing episode. Group-poop and weasel-pee that makes you see monsters.
JoAnne: I found it difficult to pee in shared bathrooms until I was out of school, and only poop away from home in desperation, so...
I am trying to block all this out because the next episode (or maybe it's the one after that) is a lot of fun.

Episode 3

Our gang follow the old man in the fuzzy coat into his house and are all excited by the furnace. They ask after Huamei and the old man says she’s on the night watch. Yanzi says there used to be a wild man on the mountain who would steal kids and eat them. Uncle Qiaoshan simply says, "Wild willow, white gray and yellow, the mountains are full of spirited beasts." (I had to quote that because I was writing it out anyway..) Wild refers to fox, willow to snake, white to hedgehog (sidebar: why?), gray to rat, and yellow to weasel. These are the fairies of the northeast, it seems. So, no pest control in these parts, eh?
Why would they have pest control? These are the mountains. This is where these animals live. Technical the humans are the pests.
Your subs are different than my subs.
That always makes for interesting conversation, variation in subs.
The boys go off to poop together. No, really, this happened. We even see them pull down their trousers and squat and farting. Right, I’m skipping the rest of this scene. I don’t care what they are saying.
I paid attention through their "grunting-to-poop" dialogue because I was astounded at how dumb they are. Their conversation leaps from wondering about the blood on the old man's ax to immediately thinking he's a killer to being a traitor to his daughter being a traitor to the idea that they should capture both to turn them into the state and the idea that this will bring them more than candy but also fame. Fatty actually takes out some candy and eats it even though Bayi calls him nasty for eating while pooping. How do they survive this way? I'd be more surprised if someone living in the woods didn't have some mud, chips, or blood on an ax.
I watched and wondered. Why did we need to see them poop together? There is a rule in script writing and it goes: every scene must serve a purpose. So. The buddy-pooping. Was it there to show us how great their friendship is? Or that Hu Bayi has indigestion? He is pressing really hard. 
It could just be a call-back to the audience of how far things have come in a relatively short period of time. You know, indoor plumbing and all that. We know, however tangential that knowledge may be, that Chinese TV is heavily monitored and influenced by their government. As are all country's media, to varying degrees. What we see as quaint or unnecessary may look entirely different to the target audience.  We miss more than subtleties of dialogue by not being Chinese/Korean ourselves, and I often remind myself of that when I wonder why on EARTH whatever is happening on my screen starts to happen.
Whatever the point was, I think I really hate these two boys now!
We see Huamei looking at the hole of the grave. For once she isn’t all mysterious, wooooooooo, but simply looks concerned. Anyone else see why?
I don't know what her function is to the plot, so what she is doing here doesn't add or take away anything to me.
Because of the fairies of course. 
Maybe she and her family are sworn fairy guardians and disruption of the natural order means disaster to her.
I'll go with what Jo said.
Back in the house, Yanzi gives food to Bayi but not to Fatty. Pffft. (Sidebar: my ultimate Fatty is Fatty Wong from The Lost Tomb. I feel irritated I do not have more Lost Tomb seasons to recap.) Fatty starts eyeing up Qiaoshan’s axe. Yep, that’s blood on the blade. He tries to touch it, so Qiaoshan twists fatty’s arm and holds him down, all furious Fatty didn’t respect the rules. Fair enough. Bayi threatens to burn Qiaoshan’s map and Qiaoshan releases Fatty.
Fatty needs to be hit upside the head. You don't just go around touching people's things, especially axes that have what looks like blood on them. That ax is about to be used on you Fatty!
Again, I wonder why this scene is here. Blood on the axe? Well, that's kinda normal, especially on an axe that is used for hunting. The map? Ah, maybe it was about the map.
Actually, in context, blood on the axe isn't all that normal. 
What? All my axes have blood on them.
You wouldn't just leave one lying around bloody, first of all. There's no carcass to explain the blood, no wound on the man, no nothing. Just an axe with blood on it. I didn't see it clearly - was the blood dry or wet?
You could use it to slaughter livestock for food.
Hey, the weasel got free! (who was in charge of tying up that bag needs to be fired) It speeds along the snow, and the kids run after it.  
Because for some unknown reason, they think they can catch a weasel and none of them get suspicious that they are about to catch up him. The weasel literally keeps stopping to see if they are following. No one should have been surprised that this was an obvious trap. This scooby gang is pretty dim.
Yes, I was also thinking: why do they run after the weasel like that. It's just a few fruit bonbons
Maybe they are totally amazing, these bonbons.
And I have to say, Yanzi’s waddle in her thick snow gear is cute! (Anyone who's had to run in thick snow pants through snow has some kind of waddle. But yeah, that was cute) Oh, they smell pee. It’s from the weasel. The gang all start seeing weird things like the landscape banging and each other as evil ghosts. They start fighting each other and the weasel just watches them from the tree, ha! Okay, weasel, you should probably run and not hang around. Why? She's probably enjoying it. She led them into this trap on purpose. I wouldn't have been surprised if she had taken out a bag of popcorn. Silly humans. Anyway, Qiaoshan and Huamei show up, and one throws his axe at the weasel, and the other shoots at it, and as it runs from the tree, they catch it while the kids still fight like dummies.
So....weasel pee makes you hallucinate? That's interesting. Yes, I'm totally planning something sinister.
I know Cabelas sells deer pee. But weasel pee, I think, would be a special order.
Cut to Huamei giving them all food. Fatty is reciting their adventures while Bayi and Yanzi sit glumly at the table. All three have messed up hair, lol. (They were doing some serious hysteria fighting) As Fatty gets stuck for some geomancy term, Bayi supplies it: yin-direction, gate of life. Uncle Qiaoshan is very interested then. Okay, for him, he’s very interested. He just kind of stops sharpening his axe and listens a bit more.
Dun dun - he realized Bayi knows things. It's not a lot, but better than nothing and definitely better than Fatty.
I still have a hard time seeing them as Hu Bayi and Fatty. It keeps taking me out of the story.
They have yet to grow into the real thing.
Qiaoshan then tells them that the weasel has toxic urine that causes hallucinations. The boys humbly and sincerely thank him for saving them and apologize for being rude (I think they were also feeling guilty for all that talk about him and Huamai being traitors). Qiaoshan says, no worries, I just wanted to save Yanzi, not you two, pffft.
I laughed. Thankfully.
I laughed, too, but really because she'd be the only person I'd be interested in saving as well.
Next, we see the weasel in a cage, where, frankly, it should magic-pee. Right? Should they not have put diapers on it? Instead, it's just crying to be let out, and I’m sad for it. Fatty and Yanzi are trying to sleep. Through a sleepy haze (I think this is important. Does Bayi never sleep?), Yanzi fusses that Bayi was after Huamei. (Oh good heavens, the subs say Bayi was going after girls and talking "bigly" about it. Will I ever get away from that stupid word?) Yanzi says Huamei is no ordinary girl, so don’t go bother with her, and that just makes Bayi more interested, naturally.
While poor Yanzi is jealous. It's always mean when boys talk about girls they're interested in in front of other girls who are interested in the boys.
Does Bayi have a clue she likes him, though? Plus, I don't think Bayi really thinks of Huamei that way, does he?
As they all sit in that side room, the weasel squeaks, and Bayi senses something mysterious, woooooooo. He finds a bowl with a bit of gold from a grave outside the door. It’s the weasel’s ransom. The weasel squeaks at them, and the kids discuss what to do. Yanzi wants to take the gold and release the weasel. Fatty says no. He wants to stick to original plan of trading the weasel for candy. Guys, I have a feeling you should take the gold. The candy will be short-lived but the weasel fairies’ curse will be forever!
They are really quite the sugar-addicts if they keep turning down stuff for candies.
Take the gold, buy the damn candy.
I love how they act like it's perfectly natural that some ghost/fairy weasel left a ransom of gold for the fairy they have captured.  Why isn't anyone thinking about this? Maybe they could learn something from this weasel.
And, in fact, they decide to take the gold and keep the weasel. How weaselly of them. Oh noes, Huamei has fainted! Oh, there’s something affecting Hu Bayi’s senses and making him woozy. He keeps looking at the sun, while in the distance we hear Yanzi saying she’ll fetch the blind granny who is probably the village wise woman.
Cut to two white weasels bowing to the sun. Yeah, I think they just cursed Bayi.
This show is pretty insane.
This surprises you?
I actually thought that he was going to catch whatever had caught Huamei because I thought he was having a vision of these two white weasels. I thought he was being possessed by the one of the weasel while Huamei was possessed by the other, but she seems to be the only one affected.
Next we see Yanzi in the village where Erhei accosts her to marry him. Annoying. Yanzi tells him to bug off, he wants to know who it is she’s interested in. Erhei claims he’s the most capable man in the villages, and Yanzi tells him he can only do "nothing this" and "nothing that", pffft. Also, he’s rather diseased. She tells him she likes Hu Bayi and Erhei is all, him? And Yanzi is all, yeah him! And she storms off to blind granny. And then a village lady laughs in Erhei’s face.
The point of this looooong scene? Show off the lovely set. I really like this village.
I think it was to give us another reason why Erhei is going to betray them in future and probably die some really horrible death. He already dislikes them, and now one of them has taken the woman he thought was coming to him (literally by default) because he feels entitled.
Cut to blind granny treating Huamei. So, this is Cultural Revolution China, where the Four Olds are banished, and guess what the diagnosis is? Three guesses:
Her spirit left her body! The weasel took it! Bet you never guessed THAT.
I hope it's nothing serious.
Probably just a little cramped.
I wish I understood more about Chinese history because even in the last show, I was trying to come to terms with what seemed to be contradictory philosophies.  Bayi and Fatty completely believe in the revolution, but they live a life that seems to be ruled by the four olds, where people who don't believe die and people who not follow those old rules also die.
And the cure? Man-bear bladder. No, really, it’s true. I’m not making this up. Yanzi pays blind granny with a food stamp, and she tells them to drink the man-bear bladder with soup.
My subs said "brown bear". Hahahahaaa, that's really not the same.
If I had read man-bear I wouldn't have thought a male bear. I'd have thought half man, half bear.
It really has to be something different than a brown bear because didn't Yanzi say the man-bear was even bigger than a brown bear? 
So, what’s a man-bear? A HUGE bear. The boys offer to go with Qiaoshan to get the man-bear bladder. Remember what I said about brown bears in the Candle inthe Tomb recaps? They're HUGE. They are the bears that Alaskans fear. They are bigger and nastier than grizzlies or polar bear. If this man-bear is bigger, I'd really be rethinking strategies. He says Huamei is his life-blood and they say, definitely we are going with you. Yanzi is going as guide. Right, we has a Scooby Gang, folks!
Poopy Gang.
I have to say though, i was impressed by their willingness to help and repay him for saving them and disrepecting him.
Cut to the village ladies laughing at their quest for the man-bear. Erhei hears them all laughing and talking. Oh, that can’t be good.
I hope he falls into weasel-pee and hallucinates for the rest of his life.
Yup. He's going to be more than annoying. He's going to be a problem
At the forest ranger’s house, Qiaoshan sees Bayi’s geomancy gear. He tells them to get some rest. Qiaoshan is smoking some herb (just like the scriptwriters), okay, drug, to keep his mind clear. He tells the boys they need to find the cave where the man-bear is hibernating. Bayi worries they won’t find it, and Qiaoshan scoffs at him because he’s already found the doors to the weasel tomb. He says he will rely on Bayi’s skills. And we get the translation for Qiaoshan’s name: "knocking the mountain." Is this important? I suppose we will find out. Anyway, in response to Bayi's question, Qiao says he came from another place than the village, but that Bayi’s home is in the military. Then he wants to know if the boys are acting dumb or really dumb. Bayi says they are really dumb. When Qiaoshan leaves, Fatty wonders if the old man is high. Bayi says no, there are meanings to his words, but it’s not clear right now.
Nope, just high. 
Nope. He just doesn't want to be bothered talking to people who don't make any sense. He's not going to tell him where he came from (have they?). And why wouldn't Bayi's home be in the military. They are/were in the military and Bayi is not as dumb as he looks or as dumb as his friend. So why does he present himself as such. I'm with Qiaoshan. I'd be suspicious.


Man-bear hunt! For it’s bladder! This episode is really into poop and pee. Good thing it gets more fun later on the man-bear hunt. Also, moonlil, next time please warn me if a show is obsessed with body waste products, thanks.
I lied when I said "an intriguing episode". I didn't find it intriguing.
Too late.  The imagery that you found 'intriguing' is now firmly cemented in our minds.
Now you have a excrement rep.