The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 4 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which we meet the man bear and find out one of our bad guys isn’t as dumb as when he first appeared.
Trotwood: Where I wonder if it's that cold out, why Hu Bayi isn't wearing a hat or earmuffs or something on his head. So much heat escapes from the head.
kakashi: Where I get really annoyed at this drama's "hahaha, look, this is funny"-humor. 
JoAnne: Where I think, 'You know, the scenery is really pretty in this, and the light, too.'

Episode 4

We open with a beautiful mountain view all covered in snow. Oh, we’ve got a lowdown perspective again. That means a weasel is watching, you know. Who could that possibly be walking alone - oh its Erhei, blergh. He’s found the weasel grave and someone’s grabbed his leg. But he knows who it is. Someone slept out at night at the weasel grave. it’s one of Erhei’s horrible friends who calls him second big bro despite looking older.
And he fell asleep in the grave because he got drunk on the job--digging graves. (wasn't he robbing one?)
Didn't think it was funny though they wanted it to be, the drunk guy is SO over the top.
And Erhei is so cringingly gross.
His name is Bai You and the other horrible friend is called Huang Niu. I’ll just call them the Yuckies 1 and 2.
Actually, maybe it’s not the weasel grave. It seems Yucky 1 likes to go digging up graves in general. Strange hobby but there’s all sorts in this world. Yucky 1 offers some grave silver to his big bro who frankly is the biggest yucky of all, but Erhei refuses it, saying that to build a house, get a wife, (he has riding a bike to this list, too - I'm sure bikes were extremely valuable to them, they were piss-poor) and other stuff, are not things to achieve that can be achieved by digging graves for some silver. Apparently, they need a bigger scheme. They decide they should go hunt the man bear and kill it before the two educated youths do, and then become big heroes in the village. Off they go to get Yucky 2.
At first, I thought that is just what they did for a living-grave digger, but then I thought that what they really did was dig graves to look for treasures buried with the graves. When Erhei knocks the coins out of Yucky 1's hands, I thought what a waste. But Yucky 1 digs around to get those silver coins.
Yes, those are grave robbers, but not of the sexy kind
Yep, robbers. Very unsexy robbers. There should really be standards for these things. Do they not have a guild or something?
Clearly, Erhei doesn't have any friends. Why would he bring drunk people on a bear hunt? Does he want to be killed?
Cut to our Scooby gang striding through the woods. Yanzi asks 81 if he realizes how ferocious man bears are? The boys bluster about Russians and Americans and how they have to fight to the end. Apparently capturing weasels and man bear bladders is part of the Glorious Revolution. 
Everything is part of the Glorious Revolution. It had that going for it.  
Very inclusive, that revolution. They probably pooped for the revolution, too, to show how healthy and strong their revolutionary digestive systems were.
Why did you bring up pooping? I thought we had enough of that last episode.
Qiaoshan stops and Hu Bayi says he’s following the four formulas of the art, watch, smell, ask and clip. He adds that each formula has an upper and lower part. In watch, the upper part is observing stars or the ground. The lower part is checking the soil and grass. Qiaoshan says he can smell bear urine (following a certain theme here-- well they do need the bladder) on the soil. They must be close! He has the group split up. He and 81 will look for the bear cave separately from Fatty and Yanzi. Whoever finds the cave should blow the whistle!
Hm. Those two groups seem quite uneven in terms of brain and other powers. 
Yanzi staggers off like she's wearing adult diapers.
You know there has to be a reason he picked Hu Bayi and not because he was trying for even groups.
Also ROFL at Hu Bayi running away from Fatty and Yanzi who were fighting over going with him instead. Finally, Yanzi strides off letting Fatty run after her.
I'm not sure, I think I would have fought over going with the old man, who is by far the most capable
Y'all go. I'll head back to the cabin and make some soup for when you come back. Keep an eye on Huamei, that kind of thing.
As Qiaoshan and Hu Bayi walk off together, Qiaoshan says mysterious things to Bayi, woooooooo. One is that the 36 professions all have Mastery of their own. But feeding yourself with this profession is hard. HB says he doesn’t want this profession he just wants work points. Qiaoshan says there are things you cannot escape from and that the weasel grave is just the beginning. Hu Bayi still has a long way ahead of him. Woooooooo, so mysterious! 
Well, but we know exactly what he means, don't we.  
I no longer feel suspicious about Qiaoshan in the least.
I have to say that I was confused. I mean I knew that he was talking about Hu Bayi's heritage, from which he really should give up trying to escape, but I wanted some more detail because I thought it would help us later--I mean we're just sitting having a lesson after all.
Oh, they hear the bear roar! Apparently it’s going to eat someone. If it’s like everybody else in this show, it will want to eat Hu Bayi. Go for it, Man Bear!
Yup, Hu Bayi looks tasty.  
Indeed. I really like his sideburns for some reason.
He looks too skinny. He looks like he'd be tough to chew with a gamey taste.
Qiaoshan is still being mysterious, woooooooo. He says those who survive must keep walking this path. HB takes a leather-wrapped something-or-other out of his bag (well, it's where he keeps his compass, we know that!) and asks if this is what is meant by path? Qiaoshan scoffs that Hu Bayi, a Mojin officer, cannot even find his own path, so how will he face his ancestral master, hmmmm?
Mojin means grave robber, right?  Didn't we learn that several tomb stories back?
He's asking what I've been asking since Candle in the Tomb: all this mystery stuff from the books and the maps and the scrolls and the compass seem the complete opposite to the Glorious Revolution or at the Revolution the way that HB and Fatty define it.
Bayi says he wants to ask a question. The older man says go ahead you’ve got three questions. Bayi asked if his companion knows what’s inside this bag? The elder man says wrong question! Then Bayi asks if Huamei really got possessed? Again, Qiaoshan barks wrong question! Finally, Bayi asks what a Mojin officer is? and Qiaoshan stops. I suppose this is the right question. (so does the count stop or start now?) Cut to Fatty and Yanzi in the forest talking about Lenin. Fatty says Lenin said some people exploit Revolution for their personal gain. Sidebar: Lenin should know...Ha Ha. Yanzi says be quiet you’ll disturb the man bear (I'm with her. They are hunting a bear that eats people, and he wants to have a philosophical discussion about Lenin?). Fatty complains she is just as loud as him, and she scoffs at him for arguing with a girl. She does ask Fatty why Qiaoshan is interested in 81? That, Fatty doesn’t know. He thinks that perhaps Qiaoshan wants to teach Bayi how to hunt. Bless, such an innocent mind. Yanzi also thinks that’s a silly explanation. Hunting is something you just work hard at.
Sadly, a lot of the dialogue is completely pointless (at least to me). It's neither funny nor insightful but seems mainly there to fill the episodes. I get tempted to fast-forward. 
Right? We don't need any of these scenes with just Fatty/Yanzi at all.
Fatty gets so excited suddenly! He sees the two white weasels that were bowing to the sun in episode 3! That’s 10 kg of candies! The kids run after the white weasels who race ahead on their 4 legs vs those two with only two legs and yet the kids keep up. I’m impressed. Oh, nice jump by the weasels. They looked like they were flying! Fatty jumps as well but he just lands on his backside. In fact into a hole. It was a trap by those weasels. Clever rodents. I find I like them more and more each episode.
Weasels can dig traps like this? Wow. I guess this was a trap made by humans to catch the bear.  
Who here was convinced Fatty's leg would be broken?
He did look like he was a bit mangled. Actually, I don't think they were both chasing the weasels just Fatty  . . . for his candy. Yanzi chased after him trying to get him to stop.
Elsewhere, and to the background of choir music no less, Qiaoshan explains to Bayi that there are 4 major schools of tomb raiders: Mojin officers, Faqiu generals, Banshan Taoists, and Xieling warriors. They all have their own specialties and masters and disciples. So, which one is Qiaoshan? And what are the specialties? Are some good at digging, others good at sniffing soil or what? I'm sure it's exactly that. Mojin officers, it seems, are the only ones to use Feng Shui and astrology to find tombs. Frankly, this seems silly to me, since they’re in China and anyone wanting to find a tomb there had better know feng shui and astrology. 
So are these different schools equivalent to the Northern and Southern etc. schools? The ones we have heard before.  
Or the houses in Hogwarts?
Anyhoo, Bayi is a Mojin officer based on his book, knowledge (not much of that), and compass. But Bayi still doesn’t understand Qiaoshan. Or so he says. Bayi says he got his book and compass from his ancestors, not in a master-disciple way. Apparently, that doesn’t matter to Quioshan. He says Bayi has to take these treasures from his ancestors. Bayi still argues, and Qiaoshan, as annoyed as I am with Bayi, says the Mojin officer lost his disciples, and left the treasures to his descendant, what is so hard to understand? As Qiaoshan storms off because let's face it, Bayi is irritating, he tells Bayi that he learnt all this as he grew old. Sure, why not. Then he says, "We’re being followed!"
Bayi isn't overly intelligent, at least not in this show, but I do understand his confusion. The old man was all about "disciples", but poor Bayi has never been taught a thing. How should he know?! It seems almost unfair to give a book and a compass to someone and then expect him to be a Mojin officer and on top of it, KNOW that he is one.
Well, you know, he could read the book and find out. 
But he seems to know certain things already--like how to use that compass and about the four formulas of the arts.  How does he know these things if he hadn't studied something or had someone tell him?
Cut to the Yuckies in the snow. I'm SO ANNOYED with them. One says the two men are heading North (Bayi and Qiaoshan?) and the other says he saw them heading West (Yanzi and Fatty?). He laid beast traps. That's what Fatty fell into, I think. Erhei quotes some Chinese proverb, "While mantis catches cicada, sparrow comes from behind" and the Yuckies get the analogies all wrong, and thus we kill some time. They finally stop when a shot rings out. Bayi points a gun and tells them he is the sparrow. Hey is that saying the basis for the drama Sparrow? Okay, that was kind of cool. Bayi asks Qiaoshan if he wants to save or punish these fellows? Qiaoshan says Erhei stole a goat from the forest last year and that he hasn’t punished Erhei yet for that. 
What does he want to do, eat him?  
Don't do it. He looks like he'd taste really nasty--like his meat has gone bad already. 
Then, Bayi says they’ll feed this group of misfits to the man bear! Erhei wants to know the order of feeding. Qiaoshan says it’ll be the Yuckies first while Erhei watches. Erhei tells him to go ahead (because he clearly doesn't care about them). The Yuckies protest saying Erhei promised them bikes, houses, and wives if they followed the Scoobies on the man-bear hunt. Unsurprisingly easy to turn these baddies on each other, pffft. Yuckie 2 not only spills the beans about the man-bear scavenging plan, but starts telling Bayi about a vein of gold. And, because he actually has a few brain cells in his head, Erhei pushes Yuckie 2 aside and runs, thus distracting Bayi and Qiaoshan from the gold vein story. 
Me too. Gold? That's much more interesting than a big, stinky bear.  
Yeah - why are they hunting the man bear if there's GOLD?
How can you guys be distracted when someone's life is in the balance? They need that bear's bladder to save Qiaoshan's daugher.

As Bayi races after Erhei, it looks like the weasels are watching them. Interesting. But, then Erhei turns back, pushes Bayi aside and knocks himself out on a tree. Three guesses why:

Thud, Thump, Thud, Growl, Man-Bear!!! I know, this one was almost too easy.
Huh? This bear looks weird! Ah, no more money for CGI... 
I spent a LOT of time laughing at how much this looked like a man in a bear suit...
And not a good bear suit at that--waste of good bear pelt and head.
Faced with the bear, Bayi looks almost bashful, pfffft. He leans in against the soft fur and tries to act cute only to be thrown in the air. So trippy. Why, show. This was so weird that I watched it again thinking I had fallen asleep and missed something. Nope I didn't.  He drops the gun, which almost shoots Erhei, and Erhei faints again. Bayi tries his best to fight the bear, but the bear just picks him up. There’s this hilarious scene with Bayi trying to stroke the bear’s muzzle and the bear just throwing him in response.
But, as the bear chases Bayi, his foot gets caught in a tree stump and, omo, comes off? Could this possibly be a costume??? (Answer: yes.) Bayi sees the now-human foot and now goes all in in the fight. Erhei wakes up and then pretends to be asleep. Bayi, is now on the "bear’s" back, fighting away, and Erhei tries to quietly slink away.
Ahahahahaaaaaa, I was so angry at how BAD they made this bear. It was moving all wrong, just like a human. 
Because it WAS a human? Which made all the 'bad CGI' hilarious to me.
Eventually, Bayi manages to kick the bear head off the man, who is huge! And when that man is about to attack, Qiaoshan points a gun at him. Yep, man-bear is caught. And he's only a man, what a twist! And he’s got a name, Hua Bangzi. He’s an infamous bandit leader who raped innocent girls. (Sidebar: would it be less bad if the girls hadn’t been innocent? Answer: NO!) And he killed dozens of people too. Anyway, now Bayi and Qiaoshan have Bangzi cornered with two rifles pointed at him, and Bangzi admits to killing the man-bear already. Also, we can see Yanzi running up to them. Back to Bangzi: he says he ate the meat, drank the blood, and took the fur. (Sidebar: I have friends in Romania and they eat bear meat there. I can’t eat it because it violates religious rules for me, but I have to admit, I’m curious. Now I'm curious too. It goes on my bucket list. Haven't had bear. Squirrel, alligator, snake, deer, but no bear. I've never had bear even though I lived in Alaska and people still do subsistence hunting there) Oh, and he already dried and ate the bladder. Bayi demands what’s left of the bladder. Qiaoshan says his daughter is possessed and needs the bladder medicine. (Is it the gall bladder that they want, or the actual bladder?) Bangzi says he needs saving too, so take him on as a son-in-law. Wait, does he really want to marry the possessed daughter or does he mean something else? Fatty, who has caught up now, calls this creep a pervert and tells Bayi to shoot him. The bandit snarls back and Bayi shoots at the balls area of the bear suit. Next time, promises Bayi, he won’t miss. Fine, the medicine is in the bear suit’s inner pocket. Yes, they have it now.
Why did he even miss?  
Fatty and Yanzi tie up the bandit by circling him with rope. That was amusing. Not to me. This will not tie down anyone. It was funny that they kept circling then uncircling, and yet when they tied the final knot 3 more encirclings had magically appeared. I was angry all the time this was happening. No one would have been "tied up" by that silliness. They are lucky he isn't that smart because I kept waiting for him to make his move when they were doing their dance of the May pole. Bayi wouldn't have shot for fear of hitting Fatty or Yanzi. And the fact that he doesn't get out of that rope? It would have been easier to just tell him to imagine being tied up.
Fatty and Bayi bicker, and Bayi tells Yanzi to execute Fatty, pffft. She says she totally wants to execute him. On the way here, he ran after two weasels and almost died! Fatty calls her a traitor, saying they were supposed to leave this part out! Bayi wants to know where the weasels came from. And as the kids discuss, the weasels are totally watching them now. And Mr Cultural Revolution himself, Fatty, says couldn’t those weasels be the Weasel Goddess’s helpers? More important than that, Yanzi says she saw two men helping Erhei get away. Darn it. 
And she just watched and let it happen? They're dumb and dumber.  
I forgot to mention earlier that it was kind of funny, Erhei pretending to be passed out and trying to inch away on his back while Ba Yi and Bangzi fought.
That was funny. And the only time I felt any connection to any of the characters in this episode. However, it's Erhei. This didn't make me feel good; it just made me want to take a shower.
Cut to those Yuckies carrying Erhei and arguing. They fight and Erhei cries about almost getting shot to death. Eventually, they discuss how the man-bear is really a man, and a notorious bandit leader at that. Erhei says lets talk back at the village. Then Erhei remembers Yuckie 2 said something to Hu Bayi other than the man-bear. Erhei wants to know what it was. But it seems Erhei knows about that gold vein already. But then Erhei says that if you look for the gold vein, you seek death. It’s in a specific place in the mountains and no one may enter. Of course the Yuckies want to know where? Answer: The Ghost Court! 
Oh? *Gets interested*
*perks up*
Not perking up because I don't believe they are going to bother to be interesting.


The Ghost Court! Wooooooo, so mysterious! And we have a man-bear that’s more man than bear, and, weasel priests and a weasel goddess, and a Scooby Gang! Woohoo! But I wonder if these weasels will turn out to be computer-generated images and nothing supernatural after all?
Half of this episode annoyed me. At the moment, the CGI Weasels are my favorite thing. 
I like Qiaoshan.
Me, too.