The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 11 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which there is a birth secret and conflicting missions. It's almost like there is a plot!
kakashi: Indeed, now that we're halfway (!!!!!) into this drama - it seems to go on forever - something interesting happened.
Trotwood: Pfft.
JoAnne:  I guess we'll see.  At the moment I can't even remember what happened.
Episode 11

So, for the first 13 minutes: Fatty insults Huamei and Yanzi, saying of the latter, that even if she were naked in front of him, he still would not want anything to do with her. Yanzi gets out of the cupboard and slaps him. The other girls follow, though, sadly, no one else slaps Fatty.
Yes, so we continue and end the very comical scene from the previous episode.
Why no more slaps? Pfft. And Ding heard everything Bayi said about Humei, so why is she still so smiley at him and making sure he knows about the bonfire party? Is she supposed to be that nice that she isn't jealous at all that he's making those silly eyes at another girl?
Maybe she thinks she can change things. I would rather see Bayi with Yanzi - I think she'd be the making of him, really.
There's a big bonfire party. All the Scoobies party hearty.
Very communistic! 
Their performance was boring until they got everyone to sing and march along. I'm glad Yanzi had a good time, but did anyone notice that no one--I mean no one--seemed to be clapping on the beat?
The only thing I thought was interesting about this scene at all was how bemused Huamei seemed by the whole thing.  I did notice her heart eyes for Bayi got bigger, though.  Well, okay, I did also spend some time thinking about the enthusiasm everyone displayed for their political system.
But at 13 minutes in, we see the party from a weasel's (finally) point of view. Hmm, so mysterious.  And why no Weasel Wee to get the party really going?
Maybe that's why Bayi smiles all the time! He's high! 
Now that would make sense.
Weasel Watch kicks into high gear starting now.  I am all about the weasel.  All weasel, all the time.
From the weasel's eyes, we see Qiaoshan walking to Yangpi. Seems the weasels are watching still, because we hear that odd music that plays when weasels are around. Qiaoshan says he looked for Yangpi and Yangpi's brothers for many years. Yangpi says Qiaoshan wants "the stuff," not to hang out. Qiaoshan nods, and says, so I heard you died and so did half your men? Yangpi says he's tough. But Qiaoshan scoffs at that because Yangpi didn't enter the Cave of Eyes. Yangpi just says he doesn't want to die.
Aha, "the stuff". Yes, give him "the stuff". 
Do the writers think at this point if they just say "stuff," we will all become breathless with anticipation as if this added mystery? I've always wanted to be mysterious. Should I just start talking about random "stuff"?

Qiaoshan, however, is excited, kind of, for "the stuff," saying he could die in peace if he could get hold of it. Then he tells Yangpi to tell him the route to the Cave of Eyes. Yangpi doesn't want to, but Qiaosha says he knows where Yangpi's brother's child is. Apparently, Yangpi's pregnant sister-in-law was thought dead but her baby was saved. There's this tense moment as the two haraboejis exchange information. After Qiaoshan tells Yangpi the baby was born on the 1st day of the first month of the lunar year, and to do the calculations, Yangpi then tells Qiaoshan directions to the Cave of Eyes, and Qiaoshan tells Yangpi the child was a boy and currently in Northeast China.
Yeah, wanna bet he's a girl and named Huamei. 
That is what I thought, too. Also, what do the "calculations" have to do with anything?
I absolutely thought it would be Huamei, but it never occurred to me that Qiaoshan would lie about that.  As for calculations, I assume that the birth timing is auspicious in some way.
And we cut to Huamei singing a song. Yes, I thought she might have been the mysterious Yangpi "nephew." She's making tea for Qiaoshan and calls him dad. She knows what Qiaoshan is up to because she asks if Yangpi confessed. Qiaoshan nods, and tells her they can only believe half of what Yangpi said. The other half depends on her getting information out of Bayi, the Mojin Xiaowei. Qiaoshan wants her to get Bayi to the Cave of Eyes, and that way they'll have "double insurance." So, basically, get Mojin Xiaowei to lead her to the Cave of Eyes in case Yangpi has told Qiaoshan the wrong directions.
Yes, let's all use Bayi because so far, he seems of no use. 
He also tells her that Bayi will listen to her because he likes her. I can't tell what she thinks about his confirmation of that or whether she likes the fact that he wants her to use that in their favor. I can't blame her since I can't decide whether I care about this aspect of their plan. usually, I hate such manipulations, but here I don't care about Bayi's feelings since he's acting like a player.
And I don't really care about any of them, except maybe a little bit for Yanzi.
Huamei thinks Bayi won't listen to her. Qiaoshan has noticed Bayi is on a power trip all the time, and thinks he probably will listen. He will listen to parts of Huamei, I'm sure.  Qiaoshan adds that whether or not he survives this year depends on this try. Oh, so is he sick? Oh? I must have nodded off. Huamei tells Qiaoshan that she will find that copper box for him. And he advises her to guard against evil-minded Yangpi, and not to believe a single word from him. Great, now she'll think her uncle is another Roy Moore.
I got the feeling that the copper box would do for him what the bear urine did for her.
Huamei isn't 14 though, right?
Cut to Yangpi in his lair, doing his calculations, and realizing, how, I don't know, that Huamei is his brother's child that was not a boy after all.
Really? I completely missed that. All I got was that he knew Qiasoshan had lied about something. What are these calculations?
So the reason I couldn't remember the interesting thing is that apparently I didn't finish the episode.
The next morning, Huamei sees off Qiaoshan who reminds her to get Bayi to lead her to the Cave of Eyes so that they have double insurance. He gallops off.
Will we ever see him again? 
Probably.  He needs that box.
Next, we find that Yangpi's horses have escaped in a panic. (We all knew that the corral couldn't hold them all) They do this a lot, eh? They stream around the tents like they're having their own party, thank you very much. And they don't look panicked. They're just cantering. They got very bored with the drama. As the herd blows that joint, we see Qiaoshan galloping across the prairie and sniffing the earth on his breaks.
Looking for weasel wee?

As for why the herd got out, the string, and it looks like string, that tied their enclosure shut, was chewed. What could have done it? A wolf? Except everyone has a dog in this yurt town. We know it's one of the weasels, but the characters are puzzled. 
When they should have gone "weasel! weasel!"
Why wouldn't any of the Scooby Gang think of the weasels? There are lots of weasels in prairies and grasslands. Actually, weasels are everyone, so ... 
I thought weasels lived in the woods.  In the woods, where they wee. Wild weasels, weeing in the woods.
Then Huamei says Qiaoshan is missing. Yanzi remembers where she saw him: early that morning he was, as we know, riding off. The yurt town people scold Yangpi, saying that if they don't get the horses back, they'll be the laughingstock of other pastoral areas. Yes, this is actually all rather funny.
You thought so? I thought it was horrible longwinded. 
I didn't find it funny at all. It was one of the few times I was actually concerned. How would they get them all back? How would they live and eat without their entire herd? It did  go on a long time without reason to the overall plot. Let me know, show, why I should pay attention.
Why does Huamei want them to think Qiaoshan is missing?
Bayi declares he will get the horses back (okay, him and the other Scoobies). You, say the yurt town people? Nah, no way. Plus, they note it'll be a big trouble if the horses run into outer Mongolia. I agree, probably so because that's another country.
Why don't the yurt people have experience rounding up wild horses, which they do for a living?

Ding points out the horses are probably running around in the grassland. And then the townspeople wring their hands and worry about wolves. Listen, wolves can't eat that many horses. You'll maybe lose max 5, and that's being generous and assuming 5 wolf packs all in the same overlapping wolf pack territory.
Wolves would never attack such a huge herd. 
Don't they grab an outlier?  Would horses in a herd like that turn on the wolves, or would they run?  What would they do if they, you know, saw a weasel?

Bayi then says, "we'll hunt wolves!" And the townspeople go, "you guys?" Of course, Bayi and Fatty swagger a bit. Ding and Yanzi are impressed, pffft. Huamei, though, looks calculating, for her.
It's time for somebody to pee.  I'd rather it be a weasel, but whatever.

Next, we see our Scoobies plus Yangpi galloping off across the prairie. That's right, Yanzi is sitting behind Bayi and Ding is a bit uncomfortable behind Fatty. Huamei rides her own horse, which makes me like her best right now, despite her crush on Bayi.
Why did they double up?! Can't the girls ride? Or just so we could see them snuggle?
It would make sense for Yanzi not to know, but the fact that Ding is riding behind makes no sense. She lives there.
But she's not from there, and maybe they didn't teach her.  Still, they serve no useful purpose if they're not on their own horses, so they shouldn't be there.
The gang ride to the base of some mountains and into snow. They are following the horses' tracks, which just stop. As Fatty says, thousands of horses, and they just disappeared? I was very impressed. Yangpi starts praying. Bayi checks his compass which is still. But then, as they look ahead, they see a force field! and the compass goes crazy. The force field sets off a force field sound! It's killing the gang's hearing! Bayi yells at them all to run! They get back to their horses who never moved, and don't seem to care about the sound.
And everybody starts to bleed from the ears and dies. 
Everyone but Yanzi and Yangpi. He ends up finding out that Yanzi is his real niece, and they both live in the plains raising horses after burning the other bodies in effigy and prayers to the grassland god.
But what about the weasels, Trot?


If Qiaoshan knew about the Cave of Eyes, why hang around in Yanzi's village all these years?  And wouldn't the yurt town dogs know weasels are around and drive them off? Anyway, I'm just glad the story started moving after minute 13.
I'm not holding my breath waiting for this to be real movement.
Oh it's a movement all right.  Just not the right kind of movement.