The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 9 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which our teenage Scooby Gang members show a remarkable lack of knowledge about things like first nights. Seriously, people, you should know what can and can't happen under what circumstances, even without the internet!
Trotwood: I never understood this. I mean you can physically feel if you had sex or not. But that wasn't the worst of it. No one dies. How can we have a show with the word "grave" in the title and not have more deaths? The plot meanders with so much random, I feel we deserve at least one death per episode.
kakashi: This episode was clearly on drugs and maybe I was too because I kind of liked it? Huh, I'm strange.
JoAnne: I laughed my ass off when Hu Bayi tried to delicately hint around how Yanzi could tell if she'd had sex. Come on people....folks from the country know how things work. Always have.

Episode 9

So, we open with three idiots, Yanzi, Bayi, and Fatty wondering if anything happened between Yanzi and Fatty while they were each sleeping with several layers of clothes. Dummies. Bayi asks if Yanzi feels any pain from her possible first night? She says, yes, in her head. That settles that issue, not the heavy layers of clothing, nor the literal sleeping. Of course, Fatty has to be rude about Yanzi, which causes a fight, and yada yada yada.
Bayi is uncommonly squeamish about asking Yanzi about this, but at least he acknowledges that there would be a physical effect if something had actually happened. But what was the point of this long scene? It just went on forever.
I laughed a little. I was in such a bad mood this morning, but this evening, it seems all gone. Anyway, the kids are so sweet and innocent, seriously. At least Hu Bayi knows how it's done. 
I also laughed a bit when Yanzi forgot herself and yelled that if she wanted to have sex with anyone it would be Hu Bayi. Where was Huamei while all this was going on?
Moving on, Bayi and Fatty read a letter from a girl they both like. Her name is Ding Sitian, and she is doing Educated Youth Work in Mongolia amongst sheep and other livestock. I wonder what she teaches them. She says there was once a Japanese water supply troop stationed there. Aha! She wants pics of the boys in their army uniforms. Sidebar: she must be desperate for attractive men where she is.
I got the impression that they were all friends in some sort of youth organization and they all parted assuming that the next stage would be the army. She couldn't get in because of her family connections so this was her alternative post--like university students who don't get teaching jobs right away and go into Americorp. I think she writes because she misses her friends. Who wouldn't after being assigned to inner Mongolia? Bayi even says so. I think he feels lucky to be with Fatty on this assignment rather than being somewhere by himself.
Yes, friends, definitely...but Bayi gets a slightly dreamy look, so I'm guessing it's a bit more in his case. And later, Fatty also goes all dreamy, but in his case, as always, it's ridiculous. 
Meanwhile the girl likes cows and sheep.
The boys decide to visit her. Bayi is attracted by there having been a Japanese water supply troop more than he is by Ding Sitian.
Yes, he senses a connection to the Weasels. And he's a weasel pee addict by now.
Are they hinting that the whole reason for Japanese troops in China, movements and placements thereof,were related to robbing ancient artifacts?
Is there a reason why we have to work so hard to come up with a reason for any of this being connected to anything else?
Cut to pretty village scenery. Fatty is eating and spitting - no, really - with the lady at the shop. They're eating seeds, hence the spitting. [This scene made me want sunflowers seeds;used to sit around eating them (and spitting) all the time when I was a kid.] She says there was once a Clay Society. He tells her Ding Sitian is gorgeous. She says no one is prettier than her. (Sidebar: maybe once.) Fatty talks about his volunteer work with Ding and how he needs a gift for her. Then, he chats up the shop lady some more and then grabs something and runs out. He also leaves his photo of Ding that she had sent of herself and her boss out in Mongolia. Guess who comes in then? Three guesses:
Qioashan! And he sees the photo and recognizes someone he knows.
Goodness!! I can't believe we had to put up with all that unnecessary dialog just to give him an opportunity to see the photo. The writers seem to be getting really lazy or they are so charmed by their cleverness that they want to drag out scenes, which is self-indulgent at best.
The shop lady is annoying and nothing is funny. 
But I think they think she is funny, and that's why they keep shoving her down our throats.
He checks the address on the back (okay, it's just the Inner Mongolian county, but it's probably easy to find a few yurts once you're there - of nomads? I guess not). Fatty then grabs the photo and chats up the shop lady some more while Qiaoshan's chest heaves with Deep Emotion. Really, it does. He walks off without his salt.
What a coincidonk. 
Is that what you say jokingly? We say coinky-dink.  I love how cats meow in different languages and things like that. Okay moving on.
Of course we all know he knows them. We knew this would happen as soon as we  saw that Fatty left the picture. Sigh. So obvious.
Perhaps we're just smarter than average?  No, I know, that's not it.
Cut to Yanzi shouting about Bayi leaving. He has a cold. He sneezes all over everything, the gross being. He says it will not keep him from his Revolutionary friendship with Ding. Yanzi wants to go, and Bayi says no. Fatty also tells her no. Then, she agrees. Okay. But, they've missed the cart (this is seriously said) to Inner Mongolia. Yanzi suggests the train.
Hahahhaaaaaaaaa. That was funny. The dummies didn't even know there is a train. No wonder they never find any tombs!
How could they not know about the train? How did they get there in the first place? There is no way you can live in a place like that and not hear the train if it's even within ten miles. There aren't any sounds to interfere with that.
Just because there's a train doesn't mean it will take you to Mongolia.
Yes, but if there is a train around at all, wouldn't you ask?

I really like her face. Frankly I think she's as pretty as either of those other girls.

A choochoo train, woohoo!!! Oh, this train made the episode better.
Cue some super pretty scenery! 
It is lovely, but it's like that super cute guy that you had a crush on as a freshman but once you were put in a group with him, you realized he was kind of dim and you ended up doing all the work to keep your grade up. Not that I would know anything about that.
Yeah but in those situations you at least sleep with him once and if God loves you at all, he's pretty good.  Not that I would know anything about that.
Why didn't I think of that? I was too busy being angry, resentful, and anxious about my grade to maintain the attraction. (sigh. lost youth)
All three have hitched a ride in the storage carriages. Fatty wants Bayi to set him up with Ding. Bayi tells Fatty to be responsible towards Yanzi, pffft. Fatty gets mad, Yanzi gets mad, Bayi laughs, and then Yanzi gets serious. She says it's enough for her to like Bayi. She's just going to enjoy liking him and spending time with him. Voiceover Bayi agrees with her, that love is just wanting to be with a person and spending time with them. Or something. I was yawning.
I thought this was very cute. Just blissful friendship. I liked all three of them here. 
I would have liked this more if I hadn't been bored with the rest. I do like them all together and the scene made me mad that the writers are throwing this potential away by not integrating anything together.
I do think I'd like them as three buds travelling the country, chasing weasels.
Oh, there's a weasel watching them.
Huh? That was unexpected. Has it peed on things?
I got excited and had the hope that the weasel would gnaw off Bayi's nose, but then I remembered that he has no scar in Candle and I was sad again.
AT first I was all confused because I wasn't seeing it clearly and I thought it was a really close up shot of a bunch of marijuana buds and I thought they'd get arrested for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Not that I would know anything about that.  No seriously, I have never been arrested in my life.  I do draw the line somewhere.
Cut to gorgeous scenery in Mongolia and one lovely choochoo train. And to sheep, horses and singing on the prairie. (I lived in a prairie state. I miss the prairie and the wide open spaces. I actually liked the singing. They really have become close these three. Too bad it looks like Ding fantasies will come between them.) The kids pull up in a tractor. We see Ding Sitian milking a cow. Really, she has to work so hard while those two boys laze around on their Educated Youth detail? Urgh, the sexism.
I just went heart-eyed at this landscape. I want to go there. 
I feel very exposed in all those big-sky places.  Do not like. But they are pretty.
More scenery. And then they yell out to Ding Sitian, who is indeed very pretty. She is suitably surprised, yay!
And she has eyes just for one man...
Of course, it's Bayi and Ding running to each other. Fatty is helping with luggage. And the moment between Bayi and Ding goes on and on and on and on and on. Yawn.
SO LONG, we get it, we get it! 
I was too bored to even roll my eyes.
I checked Twitter.
Fatty interrupts, thankfully. (How bad must a scene be for us to be thankful for a Fatty interruption?) Then, after some initial awkwardness, they all link hands and jump around. Then, Yanzi, interrupts, thankfully. They talk about going horse-riding, and Ding says her boss, Yangpi, isn't a regular herdsman, who might otherwise be touchy about his horses, so they can ride.
So he is Qiaoshan's connection, I'm guessing (he is also the one in the photo with Ding). He ain't a local. Also a grave robber, wanna bet? 
In that brief glance I thought he even looked like Qiaoshan.  Fatty's new hair is not doing a thing for him, by the way.
Oh, there's a gunshot! Everyone runs in one direction. And they see a MASSIVE herd of horses. Honestly, I didn't know herds could get that big! Yangpi is behind the herd, trying to push them away from the sandstorm. We see Bayi looking terribly concerned, and Ding all worried because the horses are frightened.
This was just CRAZY beautiful and impressive. Those were actual horses too, not CGI.
I was annoyed that none of the other herdsmen were going out to help him. He can't possibly herd that herd by himself. 
I heard you could. 
Then, for the first time, someone notices the sandstorm.
Even though it was there the whole time. 
I was annoyed that people weren't going to prepare things properly. Didn't see sandstorm even though they aren't new to the plains, and they all stand there and don't start tying things down, covering up water supplies, securing guidelines so people have something to follow to supplies and shelter in the storm. These people didn't just get here. 
It's Yanzi who does. (notice the sandstorm)
(Yup. The person who did just get here).
And it's a thunderous sandstorm, quite cool, really. Friction! Other herdsmen gallop towards the frightened horses, and that looks really cool too. They are trying to split up the herd, I think. Or make it go in a circle. Anyway, whatever keeps it from trampling people and yurts.
Really well done, drama. Just for this scene, this episode was worth it.
It was pretty, but I don't like how they made them stupid. No self-respecting nomad would act like this in a sandstorm. Look at them all meandering and/or staring.
I mean, it's not a desert.  It's grassland.  Maybe they aren't all that accustomed to sand storms.  Where did the sand even come from? 
Watch videos about the dustbowl in the United States. Prairie and grassland people know about such storms.
Bayi, of course, must be a hero. So, when he spots a white horse casually cantering towards the front of the herd, he runs away to get a little pony, and then runs into the main herd towards the white horse.
Sigh. Ridiculous. Sadly, I don't like Bayi and I don't understand why everybody wants to sleep with him.
I don't like anyone except Yanzi.
All those horses have fat ankles and thick legs.  Cankles.  Did you notice?


I'd be impressed with Bayi if the horsing around wasn't such an obvious attempt of the writer to make Bayi into a hero yet again.
Yes. Not amused. But I was more interested in the horses and the sandstorm than in him, so I'm good.
It wouldn't be so bad if this rush on a horse had something to do with the plot like he knew a prophecy which involved saving a white horse or the white horse was connected to the white weasels. But then that would require a plot.
Plot is a dirty word.

That said, again the scenery was gorgeous, the horses were lovely, and the choochoo train was beautiful. Guess we are set up for some plot movement in the next episode - I hope.
Can I say I'm feeling a tad sad for Fatty? He gets no woman. Everyone just wants Bayi. 
I'm actually sad because I think that he and Yanzi would be a good match. She would get him to have more sense; she actually listens to him and despite their bickering, they are real friends, which he really wants (as we can see from his devotion to Bayi). But since we don't see her in Candle, we also know that nothing happens between them. Wait, unless she dies!!
Yes but they do see her again years later.  Maybe something happens after that.