The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 12 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which our gang faces dragon's breath and weasel wee to get to the Cave of Eyes.
kakashi: If only I'd had some weasel wee, then my eyes would probably have stayed open. 
Trotwood: After they stopped flying, I kept falling asleep.
JoAnne: I just finished watching and I already don't remember what happened. They did a lot of walking and a little flying. Right?

Episode 12

Back to everyone's ears getting tortured by some strange sound waves. They try to ride away. And seems like they succeed because what follows them next is a snow storm, not a sound storm. Then, they ride into the desert where they are followed by a sandstorm. (I guess the writer was brainstorming, geddit? ha sadly, yes) And gosh, are they in the middle of a massive sandstorm! I don't know what this sort of storm is called: a tornado? I just assumed it was a giant wind storm. I didn't see any funnel clouds/tornadoes in that wind.They are all literally hanging on to each other - I think Yanzi was almost blown away, which didn't make sense considering the heavy layers of padded clothing she wears, and then Huamei gets blown up in the air too! Yangpi is holding onto them both, and Fatty is holding onto him, and Bayi and Ding are below holding on the rest somehow. I couldn't really see well through all the sand. 
This scene was long, weird, and physically impossible. But I know Trot knows about tornadoes.
I looked up and they were trudging, then I looked up again and they were flying.  No clue.
Like I said above. No funnel clouds, just major wind. Also, if this were a funnel they would be swirling around in it rather than being blown in one direction. I've seen wind lift up the car right in front of me and move it over a lane, so floating up like that is realistic. Remember the cow flying in that storm chaser movie with Helen Hunt? Of course the line of safety is not realistic if only because Fatty is on the bottom and he isn't that strong. I assumed he was caught on the rock and that kept him anchored, but I'm doubting the arm strength required to hang on to them.
I kinda wished someone would let go, just to see what happened. We could maybe get a Wizard of Oz thing going here.
It actually looked really cool all of them linked hand to foot and flying like a big human kite.
"Cool" is one way of putting it. 
I was actually wondering how cold the wind was or if it were cold at all since they seem to go through various temperature every other minute in this show.
Well, they're always dressed like it's sub zero - as long as you accept that their hands and faces are impervious to cold. Perhaps Yangzi is just accident prone and needs padding for protection. Who knows.
Then the tornado windstorm stops, and they all fall down. Oh well. Amazingly, no one has broken a bone. (Every one of them would have had an injury. They probably would've had something broken from where they were get held--at least major bruises and torn ligament. And why are none of their clothes actually ripped? Yangpi says the wind was the dragon and not a wind. He's sad his horses are gone. Me too. They hope the horses made their way back to the ranch somehow.
So dragon breath is room temperature, doesn't bruise you, and is gentle on clothes?
Then, Huamei asks, so what about us? Yangpi asks if she has other relatives in the Northeast? Apparently this is a good time to ask that. Huamei just rolls her eyes and approaches Bayi to manipulate him into finding the Cave of Eyes. She tells him Qiaoshan said the evil dragon lives in the Cave of Eyes and that the horses are probably there. This makes as much sense as them being back at the ranch. Is she implying this because she believes that the dragon has them? Bayi smirks because not even getting almost blown away in a tornado will stop him being arrogant or trying to be flirty by showing how clever he thinks he is. Huamei goads him more by saying the Cave of Eyes is a great place in geomancy. She suggests he use his feng shui skillz and find it. Bayi is smirking so much, I want to smack him. He's all, I'm not going to do this just because you say so. And Huamei is all, I'll find it my own way then. And Bayi is all, yeah, I'm doing it to show I'm doing because I say so, not you. And Huamei is privately, yeah, dumbass, that's what I expected from you.
I was thinking that Bayi sees right through her attempts to get her to find the Cave and that's why he wink-wink-nudge-nudged with that smirk. But even if it changes nothing, he was annoying and he's going to get his thing out now anyway. (When I read that sentence the thing I thought you meant he would get out is not the thing you actually meant. I almost went back because I thought I missed something juicy, then I remembered where I was and didn't bother.)
I initially thought when I read this comment that he you thought he was about to pull his thing out to pee (since they do it so much in this drama) and thought I had slept through something important. Then I realized you meant his compass, which has become the most interesting thing in the show.
Ha! We thought the same, sort of. True to form, though, your train of thought was much more practical than mine.
Seriously, I hate guys like this Bayi.
Me too. I don't even like the Jin Dong version anymore now.
Someone should punch him at least once.
Jin Dong version had humility and manners and was charming and sensible.
Jin Dong version was also a grown-ass man. Remember that this is supposed to be what? A 19-year-old kid? We were all pretty obnoxious at 19. There's a chance some of us still are.
I like his thing

There you go again
Anyway, Bayi does his feng shui thing, and they head off to the Cave of Dragons despite Yangpi's protests. I thought it was the Cave of Eyes. There are two caves now? I should pay more attention. They troop across vast tracts of land (like really vast like 3-4 different terrain types and going from sand to wind to rocks to ice vast. Did anyone but me wonder how they were managing without resting or being concerned that they had not food or other supplies?), and we learn terms like Zongzi (zombie) (no we knew that one already from the first Candle) , Daodou (tomb raiding), and that there are 72 traditional Chinese trade systems. Then Yanzi wants to know what's in this ancient grave? Bayi says to ask Huemei. Fatty says that Huamei may not know what's in it, but her dad seems a grave-robbing pro. Huamei says her dad guards the forest while Fatty can't even keep his mouth shut.  Sick burn, Huamei. Yangpi then asks about Huamei's upbringing after her mother died. She tells him that even though he saved her life during the tornado, she won't thank him, and he can kill her if he wants. Sidebar: er, why? She is uncommonly rude to him. For no real reason. Could she be upset that Bayi fell from the wind and rolled around with Ding? Bayi sees that Huamei is upset, for her, and tells her that her father will be fine.
I dozed off at the endless walking. 
During which no one got tired or hungry or thirsty despite being whipped around like ragdollshours/days(?) before. Pfft. I dozed off, too, time passed but nothing changed except the topography.
Nobody even peed.
Fatty, of course, has to say the wrong thing, which here, is "there must be sacrifice in revolution." Sigh.
I missed this, but reading about it is funny
Only because you were sleeping.

Eventually, when they stop (FINALLY!) for a break because Yangpi says he feels faint, Bayi goes for water. He finds a well, and when he looks down, something makes him jump back. Oh! I remember this part! It was a noise! And yet, he sends his water bottle down anyway (arrogant doofus). When he drinks the water, he gets high. Fatty tries to stop him drinking more water, but Bayi is just crazy and wants water! Addict. Yangpi tells him he can't drink that, and they hold Bayi down. Guess what it was? Three guesses:
Weasel Wee! Honestly, I'm not surprised Bayi drank that. His hygiene is really poor.
Maybe it tastes really good? 
I am supposed to believe that he couldn't smell that it was a well of weasel pee?
Now I'm humming: Can you/smell/a well/of weasel wee? Please don't think/to drink/the weasel wee! Please don't drink/that wee/Hu Bayiiiiiiiiiii
After Bayi recovers (apparently, you can get drunk off of weasel pee, but unlike with regular liquor, there is no hangover), they then go through pretty prairie, and then through desert. Their hiking skillz are quite amazing! When they stop to decide a direction, Huamei spots something. Turns out there are rock carvings of weasel fairies. Cool. The gang are all a bit freaked out, though. Huamei pushes on, and they all follow.
So I've been thinking. Which weasels wee'd? Is it new weasels or familiar weasels? How many weasels is it, if they can fill a well with wee? Is there only one wee well?
And, they end up in snow. I mean, really? All in one day? And what are they eating?  Hunter's Beef?  Seriously, the way they go from one ecosystem to another suggests they are traveling for quite a long time.
Maybe they're in a kind of timeloop. 
I am so glad that I'm not the only one annoyed by this. Feel free to delete my remark above about the different terrain.
We would never remove one precious syllable of your survival commentary.  There is no other blog out there that has what we have, and we treasure each word. Does Dramabeans give out free advice like this? Does Couch Kimchi? No, they do not. AND they have ads. Never suggest this again, Trot.
Finally, they arrive at the Cave of Eyes, and Yangpi pleads again that they not go in. He insists there's an evil dragon in there, and Huamei says, good. She wants to meet the dragon. And they partly walk, partly roll their way down to a stone door in a mountain: 3916, the Water Supply Unit. It's a Japanese station! Huamei says they must have been hiding something in such a secluded place. They're about to go in, when Yanzi stops them. Er, Yanzi, what did you walk all that way for if you didn't want anyone to go in?
Why is it always the Japanese in these stories that get their hands on the interesting stuff first? It's really not necessary. Just give us zombies and ghosts without the politics.
I'm feeling like China is still very angry about the pillaging in the war. I probably would be too.
Oh, the weasels are watching them go in. And as they go in, and down underground, it's appropriately spooky with an iron gate with spikes. The gang get well inside, and look at an old banner hanging from a ceiling.
Ohhhh, banners from the ceiling! How very spooky! 
Yawning. Tried to stay awake. Realized it was the end. Went back to sleep.
I bet it's not a GLITTER banner, though. Speaking of which:  we never have awesome secretaries in the Chinese dramas.


Finally, we are in a tomb! Felt like we'd never get here.
Still feels like we aren't there yet. 
It felt like it took forever because it did.
Lost opportunity:  at the end of every paragraph I should have asked 'Are we there yet?'  I can't figure out how to metaphorically kick the seat, though.