Ashes of Love 香蜜沉沉烬如霜 - Episode 5 (Recap)

kakashi: Jin Mi's cluelessness continues, I find it extremely amusing. But then, this episode takes a rather unexpected turn!
panda: this was a fun episode.
JoAnne: I get distracted by a costume in this episode. Was it supposed to be skin?

Episode 5

Jin Mi - who is trying to meditate/cultivate next to Phoenix but is actually sleeping - receives a love letter from "an immortal sister from the Nine Luminaries Star Palace." She naturally assumes this letter is for Xu Feng, but nope :) He's pretty amused by it though. 
panda: she is so cute in her cluelessness and I love how much he is amused by her. It's almost as though it's against his better instincts but he just can't help himself. LOL
JoAnne: He does look like it would physically hurt him to laugh, though.
Jin Mi tells that "immortal sister" that she's very touched by the letter. Then this happens:
Jin Mi, have you even read the letter to the end? Haha, she has other things in mind though - spiritual energy zongzi! Everybody in the Heavens gets one, but Jin Mi...
Jin Mi is busy trying to steal cultivation :)
Just the thought of eating 20 fist-sized balls of rice make me feel ill, and I like rice.
... gets more :D And she's might determined to find and eat that 500y bonus zongzi.
So in this Heaven, instead of bath balls with rings you get rice balls with what? Power nuggets?  How do you define cultivation? Power? Strength? Wisdom? Special skills? The secrets to Tantric sex? All of the above?
Twenty 1y zongzi later, she curses the unfairness of "nature's law" and falls asleep on the spot. One of Xu Feng's other servants wakes her up to go practice her magic and she learns that the King of Zongzi's has not been discovered yet... and that there is one immortal who has not eaten his zongzi. Yup, that'll be Xu Feng. Xing Mi gives her everything to prevent him from eating it and manages to grab the King of Zongzi's to eat it in Phoenix's garden. Oh yeah!
Her persistence paid off! Did Xu Feng leave his last zongzi for her by any chance?
So it IS Tantric sex, then.
She's very happy - and wants to repay Phoenix accordingly. No, Jo - not that way. LOOOL. Liar. There are no flowers in the Heavens since the falling out between the Flower Realm and the Celestial Clan so she conjures his tree full of Phoenix Flowers. They bloom twice, she tells the (seemingly) unimpressed him: "Once when fate comes, and once when fate leaves." She made them so they never wither. He, coolly: "Fate will eventually end, flowers will eventually return to dust." Hence, he's completely indifferent towards them.
Is this why the Heavens are so stuck up? How won't they have natural flowers? I pity them.
I'm telling you, Tantric sex. And he's lying about being unimpressed.
The next day, a marriage delegation arrives at Xu Feng's palace. But the girl in question does not want to marry him... no, she is the one sending ardent love letters to Jin Mi! Time for Xu Feng to educate people about Jin Mi's true sex. He removes her magical hairpin and boom! Here she is, visible to all as a woman. All = including Sui He. I guess this ends the special friendship between the two.
While I am quite surprised that this reveal came so early, I felt quite bad for Sui He. She must have felt like a special kind of eejit that Jin Mi was laughing at her behind her back with the deception.
Do they shave off their eyebrows and then pencil them on straight?
Of course, Fox Immortal gets totally into it and prepares wonderful dresses and ornaments for Jin Mi. He very much ships her with his "Baby Phoenix". You gotta wait for another 100 or so episodes, Foxy, sorry. Xu Feng is spellbound when he sees Jin Mi all dolled up. Sui He has a fit of jealousy and Jin Mi manages to compare her to an ugly chicken with red feathers and white dots. What she doesn't know... that ugly chicken? One of Sui He's relatives.
Fox Immortal is the cutest, I want to pinch his cheeks. Well, that sure took the expected turn. I knew Sui He would blow up and she did almost immediately. Jin Mi didn't even know she was making matters worse did she?
Remember, Jin Mi has no clue about love and these things... but her effect on men is rather spectacular. Other boy servant of Phoenix gets a nosebleed! Hahaha, oh boy. Xu Feng decides it's better if Jin Mi puts on that magic hairpin again but before that, she tries to find out whether he's happy when seeing her in the beautiful dress, like Fox Immortal suggested?
Already jealous on her effect on other men aren't you Xu Feng?
He's totally flustered by her statement that she's doing all this for him. Is it possible she likes him? She on the other hand is just content he's "happy" because when he's happy, he'll be nice to her, which could result in more spiritual energy. He remembers that his Uncle is going to host an opera in his manor and asks her whether she wants him to go. She says no: because otherwise, there will be too many women around him and no good spots for her. He interprets this as her being jealous. Gosh, he's cute.
What makes this meta for me is she is doing all this just to get cultivation. LOOOL. She has absolutely no idea on the effect she is having on the Phoenix. And he, he can't help feeling happy that she is being possessive of him. Oh dear, if you only knew dear GoW.
No! We want Night!
He wants to impress her now and lets her clean his collection of parts taken from dangerous beasts he has slain. She completely misunderstands him again and assumes he is trying to scare her.
This is a Shakespeare comedy of errors.
Remember that run in the Flower Chief had with Sui He? Yup, now the birds don't get food anymore, which means the Heavens only get very small chicken to eat. The Empress and Sui He discuss that it's strange that the Flower Chief would get so upset over a mere sprite. Yup, that's indeed quite suspicious.
Yeah, way not to arouse suspicions dudes. 
I don't think flowers are known for their brains in this or any other world.

Lao Hu, the carrot turned Jin Mi's teacher, turns up in Fox Immortals Manor (they're friends) and, after barely recognized her, wants to take Jin Mi back to the Flower Realm. Fox Immortal doesn't want her to go, he wants to see those Phoenix-Grape babies! They argue about go-no go a while in front of the Heavenly Gate, when suddenly... dun dun... Qiong Qi, the monster who killed Rou Rou appears!
Nice eyeballs.
He's veryyyy nice to look at except for that weird skin/shirt thing. The texture makes me gag.
Before he can kill Jin Mi (why does he have anything against her?), the Night Deity intervenes. Booya!
Lots of flying hair and kicks, yum. I really like the juxtaposition of the black and white fight. Very non-subtle but effective nonetheless.
The choreography in this drama is over the top and I love it!
They're pretty evenly matched!
If only Jin Mi hadn't interfered.. But she does and the Night Deity is temporarily distracted. Thankfully, Xu Feng comes to help too. Who will win?
This little grape! Did she think she was honestly a match for him?
The dumbest thing I have ever seen a long list of dumb characters do. Wart Boy will eat you for dinner, Jin Mi.


Xu Feng is toooootally smitten with the Grape, ahahaha.
He is soooo cute.
Night! Night! Night!

In this episode, several people realized that the Grape might not just be a Grape... is the big secret about to be revealed already?
I was surprised the "he is actually a she" got revealed so early. As for just being an insignificant grape, I think our villains(?) are somewhat smart and will soon figure it out.
I think China does have a history of making the big reveal kind of early, though I can't be arsed to go find proof.