Cubic (A SnarkCap) - Episode 15


Shuk: Has Ruthainark finally realized her feelings? Has she realized his? Will these SnarkCaps ever finish? Stay tuned!

Trotwood: At this point, I didn't think she'd realize her feelings even after they were married with 6 kids! But hope does spring eternal.

Kmuse: Nark might be one of the dimmest leading ladies I have watched in my long drama watching career. Yet, somehow I still find myself rooting for her happy ever after. (nodding in agreement)

Episode 15

After whatever Ruthainark spoke to LLS about, he consults with Jong Sing. JS has faith in any and all of Nark's schemes. LLS is more worried, since it involves her life. 

We get a fourth wall soliloquy; LLS muses about his guilt in abandoning Nark in Thailand. JS gets it; LLS loves her despite her unstoppable force. They decide to cooperate with her and her plans.

The background music is so loud during this that I could barely concentrate on what he was saying, or maybe it was that I was wondering what he looking at in the distance while he spoke on and on about leaving her in Thailand alone. He also just stops talking, or just stops like his batteries ran out. They wait so long, it's like he forgot lines and JS just decides to go on without him.

I just kept getting distracted by those newsie hats and wondering if the style coordinator got them in bulk. And now I am distracted by wondering whether Uncle Flock and LLS would be able to pull off the newsie look. Also, the plot really would have worked just as well with Nark not leaving the country.


More bombastic music (seriously, it's sooo loud) and flashbacks of virtually everything in the last 14 episodes (so much staring that I want to pass out eyedrops). Then, it's morning, and Nark is back in her ultimate Newsies outfit in HK. Didn't Interpol flag her passport? I guess not as she contacts Chin Fu and arranges a meetup.

Except... CF is at Little Flock's Parking Deck of Lazy Minions. What's he doing there with Yong Wen?? Anyways, he heads out with a few Flock Flunkies for the rendezvous. Little Flock is calm about it; since Chin Fu is only influenced by money, he is sure his loyalty is purchased.

I'm trying to figure out Chin Fu's attire. What country / culture / time period is he supposed to representing? He doesn't dress like the other gangsters or seemingly from the same time period as any one else.

I kept being distracted by Little Flock's new look. Rather then going for the power suit he decided to do an artsy vibe. It makes me think of a beatnik from the 1960s who is all set to direct a play off off Broadway in a warehouse somewhere in rural New Jersey. Dreaming of being the head flock but really one step away from doing a one man show on a street corner for change. Seriously, how does he have underlings?

At a temple, she prays for smooth sailing, while remembering the last time she prayed side by side with LLS and his big...incense. 

MORE SUPER LOUD MUSIC and slo mo staring. I hope the orchestra got paid extra. 

She wanders around a mall, but Chin Fu didn't show up. She calls him, and hears his phone ringtone. The greeting is brief before she is nabbed by the Flock Flunkies. She screams traitor, but gets stomach punched for her pains. As she is dragged away, he calls Little Flock to give him the good news. Cubic is captured!

Okay, I'm not going to keep writing this, but you just have to imagine loud operatic music in every scene, especially whenever any stops talking. So. Much. And throw in some of those monks from Carmen Burana singing / chanting as well. Almost as though every musician knew we are getting close to the end, and they wanted to make as much money as possible.

I never thought I would be missing the OTPs overly used theme song....but here we are.

Our boys are in the Chaihong office, getting antsy that they can't contact Nark. (They're getting angsty because they can't hear anything over the music.)

Nark is tied up in some sort of erector set, but wakes up to a little IPA on the forehead. She is surprised to see Yong Wen, but quickly starts spitting curses at Chin Fu for being a Traitorous Traitor.

Little Flock is amused that this little girl thought she could plan his capture and demise. What an idiotic Shadow! He sneers a bit, then walks away. So does Chin Fu, leaving her with a few flunkies in between the girders.

I don't understand why LLS, with all his resources, wouldn't have a few of his men guarding the love of his life in Thailand. Even more baffling is him not protecting Nark when she is traveling back into the country. Way before they start their super smart plan to defeat Little Flock. If you have underlings you should use them.

They should be concerned about her brain. She wakes from the water thinking she's at home and it's raining, yelling at her father to take in the clothes. There doesn't seem to be a lot of there there.

She yells her dismay, at the same time our Red Robed Knight decides to find her and protect her. 

Bad Dad is having breakfast next to a beautiful tea service he doesn't deserve. (he doesn't deserve food, let alone that tea set). Nan is pacing, wanting to tell LLS of their plan to return to Thailand. Well, since she says it in front of LLS's guards, I guess it doesn't matter. Nan whines that, since Boss doesn't want her, she is just bored doing nothing. Hey, bored is better than dead, little girl.

She is just a waste of space, bouncing up and down in her chair like she's five because she's bored. Have either of them thought of Nark? At all? Nothing enters Dad's head but the taste of Darjeeling and greed.


But uh oh! There a guy in sniper black, spending way too much time screwing a silencer onto a semi-automatic. 

I remember so wanting them to die. I mean if the show can kill off Mei Jin, why not this useless family?

Meanwhile, Dad wants to wait until the end of the month to leave HK. After all their debts are cleared, so why not enjoy LLS's hospitality a little longer? She's disgusted by his attitude. 

She's not the only one, but she deserves all this unhappiness, too.

I am all in on killing off the family. Nark will mourn a little bit but will have her burly boo to console her with sexy stares on stairs. 

The assassins wipe out LLS's guards in the hallway.

I had forgotten about this and was starting to feel sorry until I saw how uncommonly slow they were pulling out their guns. Really, my grandmother could pull a gun out faster than that. She was a crack shot, but still.

Nan is in her room and starting to pack. Dad goes in and they start arguing. She finally calls him out for his selfishness and disregard for her and her sister. He slaps her. 

Somebody needed to, but not him and not for this comment, which is true.

At the same time, the assassins have breached the hotel door. Nan gets ready to run out the door, but the assassins are there! Bad Dad gets shot 4 times, not even protecting his daughter. Is he dead? I hope so. Nan gets dragged away.

At Chaihong, JS gets word of it. Nantaka is kidnapped, and Bad Dad is in critical condition at the hospital. I knew his heart was too small to be a good target, darn it. 

Not very good assassins. Can't kill him at that range?

Ugh. He needs to just die already. He is annoying me even more the Little Flock bad styling. And Little Flock's mini scruff and turtlenecks really bug me so you can see how much I hate Daddy Dearest.

Here's a familiar scene. Little Flock video calls LLS and JS, and manhandles Nark so LLS can see. Luckily, she's not injured like Mei Jing was, but the circumstance is dire. Little Flock wants LLS to sign over control of Chaihong Group and resign from the organization. By tomorrow. 

Nan and Nark are thrown together in a windowless room. Nan starts freaking out, but instead of slapping her, Nark gives her a hug and promises to find a way out.

I can't tell if I have a headache from the music or from the fact that this made me roll my eyes so hard, I thought they'd pop right out of my skull. 

No wonder Nark doesn't understand how love works. She has had two such horrible examples warping her mind through her whole life.


The Flock Flunkies (Am I the only one who thinks this would be a good Flock of Seagulls cover band name?) are leaning against some of that weird metal structure, or strolling around with no sense of urgency. The only high-strung one is Yong Wen.

Chin Fu trots up and pops open another IPA for Little Flock. Our Turtle-necked Terrorist wonders if it's poisoned but guzzles it back anyway. Chin Fu assures him that a million HKD is more than enough to be his lap dog. Little Flock walks away without drinking the can. Chin Fu drinks it instead while glaring at Yong Wen's retreating back.


At HQ, LLS fondles his Chaihong desk plate and flashes back to the day he became overseer of the organization. But then he remembers Little Flock's threats against Nark. He absentmindedly stares until JS arrives. The decision is made! He will step down for Nark's sake.

Hong Kong Puey and Uncle Flock are called in, together with Mina Mouse. JS tells them the news, and Nark's identity as Cubic/Shadow is exposed. Stupid Puey wastes no time needling Uncle Flock for raising a viper in their midst.

It was an unnecessary kick while he's down. But why is Mina Mouse here? Is Hong Kong Puey afraid she'll change her mind about being his fiancé?

We get a flashback from Uncle Wen, when he picked up a dirty little thief and took him in as his son. He remembers that little imp pledging forever loyalty...

On stairs, HKP is still harping about the stupidity of giving the leadership up for a woman. Mina Mouse rightfully chastises him, and he agrees that she would be the exception because he loves her. Mina points out that LLS loves Nark, so it's the same thing. HKP wonders who would like a woman like that? He gets his shoulder slapped for that thought, and I'm betting he's gonna get purple plunger upside the head if he continues to talk. 

The girls are asleep together but get rudely awakened by Little Flock. Nark's mouth starts running almost immediately, but he doesn't care. Because LLS is giving up Chaihong in exchange for the pair. But if he releases them, he would be too foolish. Tomorrow, as the press conference, LLS will be shot and assassinated, and the assassin will be...Nark! She yells as Nantaka is dragged away. Yong Wen laughs an evil laugh and strolls away.


Back at the Chaihong office, LLS is pacing back and forth, thinking about Nark's plan (to the piano version of their theme song--such a relief because it's light). And also thinking about Nark, of course. JS arrives and warns LLS to really think about Little Flock and his ambitions. But LLS's decision is final; he can't risk Nark's life for the position. JS understands and heads out to make preparations.

And his vest is fantastic!

"Even with my own life, I will do it for you, Ruthainark." LLS vows.

The meeting will be starting soon, and Uncle Flock arrives to the auditorium. HKP and Mina Mouse are already there. Little Flock shows up, slightly less flocky with just a weird circular goatee. He smirks at his father, who gives him the cold shoulder. Once everyone is in place, JS shows up and addresses them from the podium. As JS talks, Uncle Flock just glares at Yong Wen.

Uncle Flock is in the house! Woot!

Loads of stare acting from multiple angles.


A moment later, LLS stalks onto the stage. He thanks all the members of Chaihong, then announces his resignation. Little Flock just sneers as everyone reacts to the news. HKP looks upset? Some of the members jump up and there's a consensus for Uncle Flock to take over. That aggravates Little Flock. LLS stops the conversation by stating his successor will be Yan. Yong. Wen. More reactions from everybody, including lots of teeth grinding. All the old geezers start shouting at each other.

JS stops all the chaos; it is the right of the current leader to choose his successor. With that, LLS again identifies Little Flock. His father is still flashing hate bombs from his eyes, but the deed is done.

From a side curtain, Nark shows up. What will happen next? LLS is happy, Yong Wen is happy. Nark asks him why he is doing this, and without a beat LLS says he did it for her. He pulls her into a hug. 

Inside his arms, Nark has a flashback where Little Flock tells her that he has a bomb where Nantaka is. JUST LET HER DIE! As she stares at him now, he creepygrins and waggles a toy cell phone. She looks up and sees her sister in the auditorium control booth. Wait, he placed a bomb in the very building he is in? That a new definition of cray-cray.

I have to say, I was wondering how long they could drag this out so the bomb would go off, and we'd be rid of her. That control booth is far enough away that they'd probably only get glass shards. That bomb isn't that big. But he is really crazy.

Nan is freaking out, Little Flock is nodding, LLS kisses her forehead, the Puey couple look on. They both say "I love you." for the first time. AND ABOUT DEMMM TIME TOO!

Except we are out of time. BOOM! A shot rings out, and LLS falls. She holds the gun and apologizes. Then shoots him again. Man, she should have just shot Yong Wen.

Seriously, why wasn't this part of the plan?

More Big Flock / Little Flock glaring as Nark demands he let his sister go. Yong Wen shushes her and turns off the mechanism. Meanwhile, LLS is strapped to a backboard and hustled out of the auditorium. Uncle Flock snarls at his son that he's the most disgusting human he's ever known. Yong Wen don't care, though.

At least until Interpol shows up and demands Nark be placed in their custody. JS refuses. In the meantime, Chin Fu sneaks up behind Patrick to stop everything, but a gunfight ensues.  Patrick shoots Chin Fu. But Yong Wen just shoots at his father. There is so much gunplay in this scene that I'm surprised anyone actually hit a target they wanted to hit. Thanh San looks at him and drops to the ground staring at his son's crazy face with a final thought to the kid he once knew. Goodbye, Uncle Flock! 

How can so many bullets not hit anyone in a crowded auditorium? Worst mafia members ever.

Uncle Flock's death actually made me sad, too. He remembers the thankful boy he saved; he was also willing to recognize that that boy was crazy and needed to be taken out. Not many drama parents can do that.

HKP gets into the shooting action (Mina Mouse is nowhere to be found, so I'm assuming she's hiding somewhere). Lead mosquitos are buzzing everywhere, but nobody seems to be injured. Besides, yunno, LLS and Uncle Flock.

Oh wait, Chin Fu finally collapses against the wall, thanks to Patrick's lucky shot. Nark manages to escape the entire place. One brave (foolhardy) man stands up and yells FIRE! The magic word causes everyone to stop firing and bolt for the nearest exit.

Little Flock and Jong Sing run out the same exit, both firing and both missing. Yong Wen meets up with a few of his goons, but nevertheless JS alone chases the group down a flight of emergency stairs. No slow graceful descent; the bad guys fly down the flights as if Yama himself was following them. Oh yeah, he is.

JS manages to kill a goon, and a MIB running up the stairs gets another. Little Flock is trapped between the two good guys, but he manages to get a bullet into JS's arm and find the 20th floor unlocked door to escape. 

Once he disappears, the MIB radios in that Yong Wen escaped to the floor they wanted him to escape to. Wait, this was all LLS / JS's plan?  It must be, because this floor is completely empty except for a few spinning strobing red lights.

... aaand Lin Lan Ser?? I remember actually being surprised the first time I saw this.

Little Flock is now wearing a collarless shirt. LLS is now wearing a turtleneck and appears perfectly okay, well-groomed with fluffy hair. Are we in some sort of twisty spatial anomaly??

LLS seems to be against a wall, but it's a reflective surface. Little Flocks wastes a few bullets until he realizes the futility.

Yong Wen is confused - what happened to his plan? LLS just sneers at the crazy guy. Did he really think he could pull one over on LLS's Shadow, Cubic?

We get a flashback. Chin Fu is handing Nark a gun full of blanks. LLS's money stash to the assassin is much bigger than Yong Wen's. Size does matter!

Good to see that greed is alive and well....oh, also LLS. YAY for being alive.

Utter relief that Nark didn't all of a sudden lose her brain like I thought. It wouldn't been the first time that a smart female character turns dumb at the end, so the hero can be smarter.

Back in the present, LLS snarls that Little Flock is little more than an undeserving, disloyal little weasel.

Little Flock throws his gun and mouths some long winded, whiny excuse about being an orphan and poor. What about Uncle Flock, you ungrateful...weasel?!


I'm not sure why LLS doesn't just shoot and put us all out of our misery, but he lets Little Flock continue his diatribe, dousing the forth wall with bitter tears and wailing.

Finally, LLS lifts the gun, and Yong Wen crazy chuckles. "If you kill me, we die together."

On the auditorium floor, people are still running around aimlessly when JS and Nark meet up. JS tells her that her sister is safe and LLS is handling YW.

But wait! On the 20th floor, Little Flock whips open his shirt. It's not two shirts worn simultaneously, but a fake collar and a giant square cakebox with an old alphanumeric pager duct-tape to the front, and a blinking red light brighter than the one in the ceiling.

It's a bomb.

There's a wire running under his sleeve to his right hand, where a single button trigger is now firmly in his hand. How did he hold the gun and the bomb trigger in the same hand? Amazing clothes they have in Taiwan Hong Kong.

Upstairs, JS feels everything is a success, but Nark won't be at ease until LLS comes back with good news.

And she should worry because it's a standoff at the ChaiHong Corral. Little Flock starts counting down. 3...2...1 Bam!

LLS shoots him in his right eye. Little Flock staggers a bit then goes down. It's over! Except the bomb is still blinking, and the button is still in his hand.

As LLS walks away, YW"s bloodied hand starts twitching. Yep.

LLS walks around a corner from the body, but then a huge explosion takes out the floor and windows. He give a wide-eyed "Oh crap" look and bolts down the stairs.
Still amazed that with that last LLS was able to just duck into the stairwell unscathed.

Nark yanks herself out of JS's grasp and runs up the stairs. I'm now a bit confused over the upstairs / downstairs thing. Also, there's more planted bombs going off in other areas of the building.

Explosion after explosion rocks the building as the people finally get their butts in gear and head for the emergency exits for real.
There had to be more than one bomb for all these explosions.

As the building slowly collapses, Nark's still heading up and LLS's still heading down. Somehow they miss each other.
I'm assuming they are using different staircases. They have to have multiple ones for a building of this size, right?

He's now on the 8th floor, and jumps down a utility column, sliding down a wide pipe like an unexpected water flume ride.

She's now on the 9th floor, looking down the same tunnel just as another big fireball approaches her. Jump down the same flume, Nark!

LLS is out! JS helps to carry him out. How do these two even meet each other in the chaos? Was that part of the plan? In case of bomb, use the flume escape, and I'll meet you at the bottom?

But he doesn't see his chauffeur and starts struggling to get back. Despite his efforts, he is dragged away from the collapsing building.
Know what would have made more sense? Walkie Talkies. Or maybe phones. Homing pigeons? Anything that could have helped them coordinate their locations.
In the end, all that's left is a pile of smoking rubble, outlined by a pathetic string of police tape. 
Why even bother?

The MIB are walking on the remains of the building like they are looking for their favorite staring stairs, while LLS just stands still, numb except of a few flashes of all the almost-kisses we got cheated with. He finally sits down on a piece of broken concrete (mind the rebar, LLS).

JS finds him punching his fists and cursing. He yells at JS for following her hare-brained scheme. Jong Sing points out that they would all have been dead if it wasn't for her plan. And Lin Lan Ser was more important that anybody else. What else is left to do? LLS glomps on JS in a moment of weakness.

The touching bromance is broken by Interpol's biggest jerk. Patrick is there with Hippy Hair demanding they turn over Ruthainark.  Lin Lan Ser is beyond angry and orders him out of the area. As he leaves, Patrick yells that he won't believe she is dead until he sees her corpse.

After he is gone, LLS and JS share a look. No dusty tears to mark his face, but LLS is clearly still upset. He won't leave the catastrophe until they find her!


We say goodbye to our Flocked Foes. I for one enjoyed Yong Wen's craziness, even when I hated his questionable attire and hair styles.

This episode was nearly two hours long. No wonder there are versions of show with more episodes. They could have easily broken this up into smaller batches of stare acting.
I'm a little sad that Uncle Flock didn't get a bigger sendoff. He will be missed. Also, there were so many gunshots that it almost became white noise. We could have edited out a good 30 minutes of gun shots and still achieved the same story.
How I act when someone calls my Diet Dr Pepper "tasteless".