|Goodbye, I'm leaving!!|
lafer: Right off the bat, I'd have Song Joong-ki to my left and Ji Sung to my right. Yes, I know, about as surprising as your Park Shi-hoo and Lee Jun-ki. But lest you think I'm shallow enough to be swayed only by adorableness, let me assure you that I've seen various interviews with both these guys so am not giving these seats away lightly.
Yes, lafer. I'm also going for brains rather than looks. This is about a dinner after all, right? And we will talk, right?
Well, I'm not sure exactly how much talking we'll do, because let's face it, there is a slight language barrier. But we can pretend to be listening with rapt attention... while gazing into their eyes......
My hangul is perfect for the occasion. I can say "oppa", "sarangae", "kamsahamnida" and one or two things in addition. I'll teach you, if you want! But we are digressing, methinks. Ji Sung and Song Joong-ki, you said. Why those two?
Well, if they're the only words I need to know, I'm golden. On to the table - Ji Sung probably has the best manners of anyone out there, so I know my glass would always be full. And when I fall off my chair drunk as a skunk from the always-full glass, he'll be gentlemanly enough to make sure I get home safely (by piggyback? One can only dream!) In addition he has the cutest profile ever, so I'd love to sneak sideways glances at him.
Wonderful! I'll sneak some from the other side of the table. I love how well we harmonize - there is almost no jealousy between us. Your second guest, though ... well. I'm feeling generous so soon after Christmas, that's why you can have him.
Song Joong-ki is the man of the year, but also someone well read, playful and flirty, who likes older women. OK, not as old as me, but still. (Although if I can't get Werewolf Boy out of my head, I may have to seat him at the kiddie table--you know, the one where we just pat them on the head and pinch their cheeks.) One thing I know - I'd have a constant smile on my face if he was there.
Oh, wow, what a brilliant idea ... we'll have a kiddie table! This way, we can invite so many more ... Okay, here are my top favorites. I'll have Park Shi-hoo (and his brother) to my left and Lee Jun-ki to my right (by the way: we will have to give them a lot of alcohol, lafer, to make sure they forget about the age difference and the being polite).
Ah, yes, alcohol, the perfect compliment to any dinner party!
See, I knew you would be on board with this! Anyway, let me explain why these two are my favorites and get to sit in the seats of honor: It's no secret I'm smitten with Park Shi-hoo. He is totally hogging this blog right now. I'll make him smile all the time and do crazy dances. From time to time, I want him to flash his abs. But only quickly. You know, the shyness ...
Yes, the shyness (or so you say....) And wait, what's this about his brother coming? Just so you know, I'm keeping track, so if you get a two-fer, I get an extra guest, too!
Right, his brother. He plays a very important role: I'll have the two Park brothers on the same chair to dampen Park Shi-hoo's shyness and get him to open up. Park Shi-hoo's mother said that "Si Hoo is an introvert and Woo Ho is an extrovert". And his mother also said: "Si Hoo is an introvert but also very naughty", so I'll have the brother there to make sure things don't get out of hand. I can't guarantee for my behavior if Park Shi-hoo is near me. Especially if he is being naughty 0_o
Isn't that what all women do? But enough of the Parks. Because on my right, there's Lee Jun-ki. Ah, Lee Jun-ki.... I recently got to know a woman who works in a shop in Lucerne. And you walked right into her shop and asked her whether you could do a photoshoot in it a few weeks ago. >.< Will I ever be able to forgive you for not seeing me when you were in Switzerland? Let's discuss this over dinner, ok?
Btw: my husband, who is a really tolerable man, thinks all my KDrama crushes are you, Lee Jun-ki. He glances at my screen and goes: "Is that him again?" I never correct him, because I know you have a black belt in Taekwondo and can take his potential wrath. And better he thinks it is only one (and this is in small print so that he will not be able to read this easily).
Awww ... but look how cute he is!! Kitten! Come here, kitty-kitty ... (to the kiddie table?)
Gong Yoo, you are next on my list. And that is exactly the same look I will have on my face to see you sitting across from me. And while he's another repeat from the 12 Men of Christmas, I don't think too many will object to seeing him on the list. Not only is he a super talented actor, but he's Han Gyul, and one of the best on screen kissers ever. Enough said.
Kissers? lafer ... this is only a dinner, okay?! Next, I'll have Song Il-gook. He has triplets and he named them: Dae Han, Min Kook, and Man Sae. Apparently, if you put the three names together, it means 'Hooray for Korea'. hahaha, that's so funny! "Hooray for Korea, come here immediately, or you will not get desert!". I'll tell him to dress in his A Man Called God leather outfit (if he still fits. Don't know how many kilos he lost for that role!). He is very athletic and I would talk to him about sports all evening long. Park Shi-hoo also likes sports a lot. So does his brother.
You can talk sports all you like. I'll be chatting with Kwon Sang-woo. He was the first Korean actor that I literally gasped at when I saw him without a shirt. He also cried when he proposed to his wife--you gotta love that. And maybe I'd get the inside story on his upcoming drama, if I could actually concentrate on anything he said. (But I'm not making him wear a shirt if he doesn't want to, kakashi!)
Fine, fine, I can take one or two without a shirt. Next, I'll seat Cha Seung-won. We need some more facial hair on our table (if he doesn't have any at the moment, we'll use a stick-on goatee). And he is one of these actors I want to convince to do more dramas. And we also need a potential villain, in case we want to role-play something.
Omg, Song Seung-hun aka Mr. Handtowel. He is so honest and naive! Or he is very good at playing honest and naive... I'm following him on Facebook and Twitter, and he is just so ... incredibly open about his acting "skills" (or rather, the lack of). But he is sooooooo pretty ... please seat him where I can see him well. My next guest is Kim Myung-Min! I'm sorry, but he'll have to come as Anthony. Because I have many drama-related questions to ask him. And he will have to change his suit at least four times - I want at least one fur-outfit.
Hmmmm .... bad boy vibes ... I need some of that too. Smexy undead bad boy arrogance. Yeon Jung-hoon! I'm talking about you! I'm sorry, but you will have to leave Han Ga-in at home. What, she'll not let you?! Pfff. Okay, fine. I'm sure lafer has some more boys she wants to invite ...
Jeez, lafer ... how many more?! (btw: who will do the dishes???). Let's seat Kim Bum and Song Joong-ki at the kiddie table, alright? Because I want to invite one more: Yoochun. Yeah, cause Yeon Jung-hoon has declined and they look so much alike. No pink lipstick, however, hear me, Yoochun!
Did you just call somebody oppa?! Awwwwwwwww! I really, really, really want to call Park Shi-hoo oppa, but ... alas ... he's two years younger than me. But you know what? I'll just pretend to be younger! I may be able to pull it off ... if I start using botox and stuff right now ... Anyways, thanks to the kiddie table, I get to choose one more. And I'm going for ... Lee Won-jong! My favorite ahjussi actor.
Those two can reminisce if we get too busy with the others. And now - TaDa - I've saved one special seat for last, because who's counting? And that goes to Daniel Henney. While not 100% Korean, he has to be the finest Korean American specimen around. If they ran his commercials in the US, I might actually start watching regular TV again (Go Hawaii 5-O!) And he's got to be one of the nicest guys on Twitter. I think I will give him the seat of honor because he can be my personal interpreter, even though I probably won't care what anyone else is saying if he smirks at me like that!
You are a genius! But lafer: What's on the Menu?
Does it really matter? I say go with whatever the caterer suggests, because I'm sure as heck not slaving in the kitchen all day before eating with these guys! I'll be wrapped in facial masks and hanging upside down beforehand, trying to undo some of the effects of gravity. And I want candlelight, very soft, flattering, candlelight.
And at half past eleven, we will announce our surprise guests (lafer, should they jump out of a cake?), which are ...
The perfect end to a perfect evening!
Happy New Year's everyone!