02 November 2013

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The Heirs Episode 7 (A SqueeCap that's InHeirently Bad For You)

Posted by CM Shukmeister on November 02, 2013
Shuk: Love is in the air at Snooty High as our boys tussle with their feelings, not necessarily in a good way. 
JoAnne: I'm very worried there will never be any good tussling with Bad Heir. It never moves. And his expressions make me want to tussle really really bad.

HEIRS 7
Shuk: The boys have their phone stare-down while our Bean Princess pretends to sleep and tries to figure a way out of this mess. The boys banter their unrequited passion for each other with phone sex, and Beany fake-stretches awake. Her eyes widen when she sees our hot namja Good Heir across the road. Goody warns Baddy to go eat ramyun in his own neighborhood, and leaves. She leaves too after a short interval, leaving a confused and grumpy Heir behind.
JoAnne:  His face was hilarious-it's making him crazy that he can't figure out what's going on. Bad Heir is hugely entertaining when he's not outright horrifying. I hope the horrifying part goes away soon.
Shuk: But the moment she arrives at Stately Chaebol Manor, he pops up and starts throwing questions at her. Her answers serve to drive home the difference in their stations, so he changes the subject to Bad Heir. She turns it back to him: why are the two boys antagonistic when all this bromance is flashing between them like an arc between electrical wires? Okay that’s my question, actually. Kim Tan says he can’t remember how the rift happened between them.
JoAnne: #WhenAWomanRealizesTheOTPDoesNotIncludeTheBeanPrincess
Shuk: She goes to the kitchen but bumps into KiMistress, who snarks she had to get her own wine. Just then, he pops up in the kitchen, and then proceeds to do the verbal equivalent of sticking her pigtails in ink. His mom just knows they now go to school together, and, once he leaves, she admonishes Beany to never notice those above her at school, but to keep an eye on him and report back to her. Good Heir hears this all, of course, eavesdropping from the kitchen door.
JoAnne: I like this boy.  I do. I like him with Bean Princess and I like him with JuvieHallHeir and I like him with his brother and I just LIKE HIM.
Shuk: She goes to her room and wakes a dozing Bean Mom, who has surprised her with a uniform. She's happy.
JoAnne: This whole uniform thing was dragged out. I mean how many days were they going to let her attend classes in street clothes? They could have had THIS scene the night before she started school. Why wait all this time?
Shuk: Tempermental Heir is decidedly not happy. She’s arguing with her mom at Mom’s PPL Emporium. It seems she wants to take a family photo before the family is married. Tempie storms off to Bad Heir, who offers to either date her or ruin the photo shoot. He’s in his ki in the locker room. Please, Tempie, pull the belt! Pull the belt! Anyway, he tells her that the cost will be her promise to do anything he asks.
JoAnne: For a very strange looking human this heir has charisma that burns the screen right up. Do we not all agree, or do we not all agree?  #WhenABoyIsReadyToBeTheLead 
Shuk: It’s OMG-dark-30, and Goody is stamping his feet outside his gate. He’s waiting for his Princess, who’s sneaking out early to avoid him. He easily manhandles her into a taxi, and tells her that he overheard the kitchen conversation, and that she should say truthful but nice things about him. He elicits a smile out of her, and uses her softening attitude for some back-seat snuggle time. He also compliments her uniform, deflating her further. Aww.
JoAnne: G-D effing adorable shit here. Ridiculous. I sheep! I sheep! Of course I actually sheep him with just about everyone in this darn thing...everyone except his fiancee. She needs to go with Woobie.
Shuk: She walks in front of him at the school, not seeing him in her eyesight but knowing that he’s there. After a moment, he can’t resist stealing her hairband. She protests and he playfully musses her hair Sadoka-style. They bump into a nightclubbing student, who thinks he’s seen her somewhere else at this time of day. (When I dubbed him Thick Heir I had no idea he'd turn out to be such an idiot. I love it when things just work out!) Kim Tan quickly pulls Heir Club away from Eun-sang, but not before the guy muses that she’s not bad looking in a tacky sort of way. He steps over a chalk outline of a body someone has drawn on the sidewalk.
JoAnne:  I hope that bit comes back somehow. It's just so random!  Heir Club.  You ROCK, Shuk.
Shuk: I learned from the best, unni!
Shuk: Our saturi-speaking sister visits Ki-Mistress and waxes "Wow" over the furnishings. Sis complains about an upcoming parent-teacher meeting, but her unni is envious that she can even acknowledge her offspring. However, now that unni’s son is home, she is feeling more confident about the future. We find out KiMistress’ sister runs a bar. What’s the significance? Who knows. Their scheme to find dirt on Wifey #2 has been a failure so far and GumiHeir appears to be clean, too. During their convo, KiSistress gets startled when she sees Bean Mom working on a scuff mark on the floor. Bean Mom admits to hearing everything. LOL – she really does learn all the household skeletons!
 JoAnne: #WhenOneSisGotAllTheLooksInTheFamily
Shuk: LOL KiMistress tries a little sneaking action to scare Bean Mom to prove she really is mute, but it falls hilariously short when she remains unruffled, writing that she lost the ability to speak at three.
JoAnne:  I love them. I hope they end up bickering Moms-in-Law.  Bean Mom will not have to work, of course, and the two of them will just be  best bickering buds.

Shuk: Kang Ha-neul! Bean is at the video production office, trying to convince him to choose her. He’s mildly interested in her Sign Language ability, but is dismissive, since she doesn’t need to scholarship money for a uniform anymore. She signs / threatens him, but her interview is interrupted by Baby Heir’s Krystal-squeaky girlfriend. She doesn’t want Eun-sang to get the job, but quickly choses her over the prettier applicant. Hyo-shin appears to go along with it.
JoAnne:  Please explain to me how signing would matter at a radio station.
Shuk: [shrug]
Shuk: Beany is smiling as she pulls her hair back in its customary ponytail, only to have Young Master do a drive-by hairband removal. She stomps her feet, but he keeps moving. A moment later, she feels a malevolent presence and looks to the side to see Crazy Hair glaring at her from the building steps. Or maybe her ovaries twinged.
JoAnne: Why not?  Mine did, and they're not even in Korea.
Shuk: Blah blah Krystal blah blah Baby Heir *%$#@ she said a dirty word.
JoAnne: Oh come on they're funny together. This show is actually pretty funny. Woobin with everyone that he's not beating up, these two, Tan and Bean, the Moms, Thick, Stringy's pretty girlfriend...they're all funny.
Shuk: Kim Tan is mooning over a pic of his wrong first young love when Baby Heir shows up. Goody almost matter-of-factly says he’s ready to confess to Beany, but wants to know about her and Baby’s relationship. Chan-young says they’ve been friends since age nine, when she would beat up bullies for him. Goody tells him he only held hands with Bo-na because she was stronger than he was back then. And with a smile, he flips away her picture and leaves.
JoAnne:  Awww, the baby bromance just took its first steps!  I'm glad we have pictures to commemorate this special occasion.
Shuk: GumiHeir shows up at the house and surprise KiMistress. They trade barbs before he heads off to Dad’s library. There, he tells his father he’s moving out permanently, seeing no place for him at home. He’s disappointed in his father’s way of introducing his half-brother to the Board at work. It seems he’s been bitter since he was six years, which is a shame since he was probably cute then, too.
JoAnne:  Listen, you deliciously beautiful man, you. There is nothing..and I mean NOTHING...less sexually attractive than a whiny man child pouting over some shit he needs to just grab his balls, adjust, and BE A MAN ABOUT, goddammit. The boys are pretty but I'm in this for YOU, Sex Heir, and I'm frustrated. I get MEAN when I'm frustrated.  Don't make me go there.
Shuk: Our puppy eagerly shows up to his hyung’s bedroom when he hears he is in the house. He gets a cold rebuff, and asks that they share a roof even if there is hate between them. GumiJerk tells him only real families are worth the effort, and he needs to stop following him around. He heads down to the wine cellar, where Goody finds him. Tan apologizes for going to the hotel and the company, and for returning from his exile. He begs one final time for his hyung to stay. Won is spoiling for a fight, but his dongsaeng hugs him instead and tells him he won’t fight. GumiHeir verbally pushes him away and exits the cellar. Bad GumiHeir! No wine for you! And I want to rub the poor puppy’s fuzzy sweater. Just to check the nap, you know.
JoAnne: I am torn between a deep desire to kick Jerky Heir's ASS and go online to order myself a pink mohair sweater.
Shuk: Eun-sang is returning to the house when Tan startles her in the garden. He demands she immediately return the dream catcher; he’ll be waiting in the wine cellar. We get some Samsung Galaxy features when he sets up some Bluetooth mellow music. She shows up and thanks him; he mentions that without the dream catcher, he kept having nightmares. The song "Two People" by Bromance, was one that he noticed she played before. Beany says she used to listen to it with her no-good sister. They settle down for some nice conversation.
JoAnne: Sweet, kinda boring, essential bonding blah blah blah. At least there's no interminable back and forth camera panning like last time.
Shuk: He asks her if she wants to return to the States. Not really, anyplace other than Korea is good. Korea is where she works and works and works. What’s it like being a chaebol son? He can’t call his mom his mother, and he can’t call his hyung ‘brother’. She snarks that it’s the Master’s Life. He wants to ask a final question, but she’s learned to be wary of those, so she says goodnight and heads upstairs.
JoAnne: Pink washes the puppy out. His hair isn't dark enough. That would look much better on me.
Shuk: In her room, Beany thinks about his other questions he has asked her: "Do I like you? Did I miss you?" Still in the wine cellar, he just stares at the dream catcher and broods.
Shuk: At school the next day, the classroom entrance is blocked by some school thugs. Limp Heir just pushes past them to find Eun-sang in the clutches of Young-do. Bad Heir does An Unforgivable Thing: he upends both Beany’s bookbag and Stringy’s purse on the floor. Bad Bad Heir – a man should never learn the secrets of a woman’s handbag! However, there’s a stark contrast between the contents: frou-frou versus practical.
JoAnne:  This poor child. Can someone just kick Woobie in the balls and be done with it?
Shuk: Baddy accuses Beany of being a fakey faker richy. Stringy doesn’t blow her cover, though, and Beany finds a bit of courage to stand up to Young-do. He crowds her and whispers that he wants to know who is backing her. She doesn’t answer, and a moment later Baby Heir pushes his way in, and, just like that, the confrontation is over. Bad Heir wonders why there are so many knights coming to her rescue, and shoulder-pops Chan-young as he leaves.
JoAnne:  I do love his faces, though.  And the first stirrings of a clan for Bean Princess, however reluctantly it might be.
Shuk: Kim Tan hears about it in his classroom, and jumps up to rush to his girl. However, a slick-haired Marlon Brando wannabe for a teacher shows up to pontificate about dreams, and he’s forced to sit down.
JoAnne:  Shuk, I give this teacher a 9.0 for diction, but he's coming into this round with an overall 5 which brings him wayyyyyyy down in the rankings, and I'm withholding an additional point for cheese.  He should thank his lucky stars for the clear look of distress and worry on Kim Tan's face, supported by the increasingly pissy face of Tempie.  These two saved the routine, quite frankly.
Shuk: After class, he’s looking around the school for her. She’s at her locker when she sees BadHeir give the bullied kid lawsuit paperwork for assault (even though his cheek is again flawless). A crowd gathers as he humiliates the kid into kneeling in front of him. His thugs enjoy the show, but most of the classmates are clearly unhappy with Young-do, including our friendly clubber, his girl, and Beany.
JoAnne:  The tides, they are a changing.
Shuk: Our good guy with the bad fashion sense finally shows up and gruffly tells Joon-young to get off the floor. The kid refuses, and we find out that Tan bullied him previously as well. Tan quietly says he doesn’t remember. Gosh, Goody, were you so prolific as a bully that you can’t remember your victim’s names? You got some ‘splaining to do.
JoAnne: I wonder if they will tell us why Kim Tan not only no longer bullies, but feels that bullying is bad? Because he does think it's bad, even though he thinks it's just how things are done round these parts.
Shuk: GoodHeir offers a repayment to the victim, and punches BadHeir a good one. Rumble about to go down, boys! But the arrival of a teacher scatters everyone, and the two are brought before Wifey#2.
JoAnne:  The results of the punch were impressive, but the sound of the punch left much to be desired.  A half-hearted slap would have sounded more solid.
Shuk: Young-do plays the good boy to the hilt, although his clenched hands tells me he’s not enjoying it. Mother threatens to transfer him, but Young-do demurs. Outside the office, however, he tells Tan that he ought to consider moving to another school, and they head off in different directions.

Shuk: There’s a flashback to their middle school days, when Kim Tan told his buddy the family secret. Young Young-do just called him a bastard and walked away.
JoAnne: How do you just turn on a dime like that?  Shouldn't there have been some angst about the revelation?  For at least 30 seconds?
Shuk: The students are buzzing about the events at the school, with the two girls doing their usual bitchfest at each other. Rachel gets picked up by her mom, who calls over Good Heir to exchange some formal conversation through the car window.
JoAnne: Rachel's mom's a bitch, too. Although I grudgingly admit she has a valid point, and even though I can't seem to remember it much past the point she disappears from the screen, our earnest young lover does have a fiancee already.

Shuk: At the hotel, Rachel’s mom calls Chan-young’s dad for some phone flirting. He’s with KiDad, though, and quickly ends the conversation, to explain to KiDad what Rachel’s mom will have in stock holdings once she remarries. Outside the hospital room, he thinks about that torrid kiss from before, and I wonder if he plans to crash the wedding.
JoAnne: Please someone, do SOMETHING about this man's hair before I rename him AntiSex Heir.
Shuk: Beany and Baby are in study hall, and she keeps getting calls from someone. She finally answers; it’s Bad Heir, offering her jajangmyun, since the minimum delivery order is two. She tells him to order two but eat one – doesn’t he have a lot of money? Ah, but he has another evil trick. He might drop the assault lawsuit if she agrees to have lunch with him. To drive home the point, the bullied kid shows up apologetically in her study room.
JoAnne: Devious. Devious devious devious.
Shuk: Websters Dictionary definition: "Devious: (1) Showing a skillful use of underhanded tactics to achieve goals; [2] (Of a route or journey) longer and less direct than the most straightforward way."  Number One is definite Our Heir of Hot Strangeness. But writer-nim is Number Two.
Shuk: So, she goes to his house, and stares at BadHeir while he eats. She tells him to stop messing around with people as a joke. He turns solemn and says he isn’t joking; seeing her in front of him changes his bad thoughts to flowers. She not buying it though, and he asks if everything he does seems like a joke. I have to say yes, there, big guy. Anyway he continues: does she hate flowers, or meeting with him more? Because he plans to make her do the one she hates the most.
JoAnne: As a small boy he didn't dip pig tails in ink wells - he cut off pigtails and used them to strangle puppies.
Shuk: Their meal is interrupted by his soon-to-be stepsister, who insists on knowing the plan to mess up the photo shoot. She doesn’t take the hint that he’s eating with someone and barges in, only to come up short when she sees Eun-sang. To his credit, Young-do is clearly not happy to see her. She sends a cutting remark Beany’s way and leaves. Beany jumps up, asks Baddy to drop the lawsuit. He asks if she is heading to a part-time job, but she just flashes him a scared look and bolts. Young-do looks sad, but I’m guessing it’s just too many onions in his black bean sauce.
JoAnne:  Nope. He's a mean rotten kid but he likes having her around, and it's not really so he can bully her.
Shuk: Rachel wastes no time in calling her fiancé to tell him of his favorite’s behavior. He tries to call Beany, but gets no answer. He finally runs out of the house and drives to Part Time Job # 2543. She is just finishing bussing tables, and he breathes a sigh of relief before wrist-grabbing her to go outside. He proceeds to read her the riot act: Is she crazy going to Young-do’s place? She reminds him that she thought he was a drug dealer in the States. Besides, she went there because of the lawsuit. He calls her stupid, for caring about a student getting ready to transfer.
JoAnne:  I feel a squee coming on.
Shuk: She gets angry as he continues to berate. Does he not know that her current problems at school and with Young-do rest squarely on his shoulders? Why doesn’t he leave her alone, so she can graduate and her life can be slightly better than it is now? He tells her to move out then, but if not, it would be better if she starts liking him sincerely, because he likes her.
JoAnne:  Tiny squee, yes.
FINAL THOUGHTS

Shuk: I had a bit of a problem with this episode. There really wasn’t anything new that moved the story along. Yeah, she’s a fish out of water. Yeah, his brother hates him. Yeah, his mom can’t go to Parent / Teacher conferences. Yeah, Psycho ex-friend is still bad and gunning for the girl he likes. Yeah Yeah.
JoAnne: You're right, but since I happened to enjoy revisiting those points, I was mostly ok with the episode.
Shuk: This episode did have a lot of nice moments: the wine cellar talk, even the cat/mouse luncheon was well-played. I just would have been happier if we went somewhere. 
JoAnne:  Would you like a ride on Bad Heir's bike?
Shuk: I'd ride his orange motorcycle.  I'd do anything orange he asks.
Recapper in charge: Shuk
Commentor on the fly: JoAnne
Picturesque: kakashi (and Shuk)

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