The Problematic of the Unproblematic

cherkell: ALRIGHTY PEOPLE!!! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!? Or at least ready to hammer a nail in the coffin that is “The Heirs?” Here we are at Episode 20 – Finale Time – and not a moment too soon. Let’s get this party started… so we can finish early. I’m old, remember? Shuk:  There's a production error of a boom mike popping down on one of the scenes.  If you can find it, have a shot of soju! JoAnne: Do we all agree that the production team muted Sex Heir out of concern for us? Because if both Woob and Choi Jin Hyuk had been allowed to be their completely swagtastic sexy sexy Sex God selves...we'd be dead.

Hi everyone!  This is Shukmeister on what will be my final SqueeCap recap. I appreciated everyone who joined the funhouse ride with me in April 2013 with "When A Man Loves - Episode 2" .  I also expect bigger and better things from my chingu in the future! kakashi: It is a dangerous thing to say "my final SqueeCap". These suckers have a tendencies to sneak up behind you and tackle you to the ground when you least expect it. But you're always welcome to change your mind when that happens. JoAnne:  Hmmm.  

kakashi: It's the final countdown .... tüdütüdüüüü, tüdütütüdüüüüü, tütütüdütüüüü, tüdütütütütütüüütüdüüüü tüdütüdütütütüütüüüüüütüüüüüüüüü. Are we sure there are not going to be any sneak-attack extensions though?? Ah. So close. So close... cherkell:  If this sucker does get extended, I will not be responsible for What Happens Next.  You have been warned.  JoAnne: You don't see me. I'm not here.

JoAnne: Ughhhhh what do I do there's nothing to write Tan is sad and Young Do is mad and everyone else is everyone else and ughhhhhh. kakashi: Waitaminute. Aren't you supposed to LOVE this drama??! What is happening?? Heirs has just lost one of its most ardent admirers!! Episode 17

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  I am hoping you're still full of tryptophan-laced poultry products in order to make it through this episode in a dream-like state.  Strap yourselves in, because here we go! JoAnne:  I'm so ready!

Shuk:  We are three-quarters of the way through this thing, and we finally see some battle lines drawn. Okay, if you are doing a drinking game based on how many staring scenes are in this episode, your liver will still be in pain.  But we get some baby steps forward, and maybe a steely-jaw moment or two from our lead.  But for the record, I don't like Young-do with his fangs pulled because of love! [sob] EPISODE 15 SHUKNOTE: Since Kim Tan has become a possessive fool who just makes everyone's situations worse, and Young-do has actually joined the ranks of humanity, however flawed, I will no longer call either by their monikers "Good" or "Bad".  I'm still working on replacements, though. Bear with me. Shuk:  Kissyface at the party.  Actually, kissyforehead.  Oh well.  Is that what happens when you drink Neon Lime Gatorade out of champagne glasses?  No thank you, gimme the real stuff and let's play tonsil hockey. cherkell:...

kakashi: Granted, folks, I am currently pre-occupied with somebody else entirely (plus I have a shitload of work and STILL need to find my 4th Team member for "The Santastic Four" ), but it is my pleasure nonetheless to be able to do a little snark-capping for you. JoAnne:  I don't know how you do it. kakashi: Baker Santa! I need you !!!! ( Addendum about 20 hours after starting power-search: FOUND HIM. Love him. This is going to be epic) kakashi: I think I heard something somewhere about a possible extension of this drama? Sure. Why not tell a story of 8 episodes in 24! If you run out of things to say, just have the characters stare at each other for minutes. hours. weeks. I'm expecting more stares, yes, I even want them! More stares! Less dialogue! JoAnne: Sigh. Tan and Bean are not the whole story... kakashi: Don't they all stare?

  JoAnne: That face. Episode 13 (in which I have a lot to say) JoAnne:  Ok, wow, we open on the stare that lasted so long it took up parts of two episodes. It's pretty touching, though - Kim Tan's tears are exhaustion, plain and simple.  I think the adrenaline rush of defiance is over, and the boy is overwhelmed by the bomb he just exploded in everyone's faces.  Bean's tears are sympathetic, although she says she can't run from danger with him. cherkell:  Beany's offer mentioned while in the States to run away not valid in Alaska, Hawaii and parts of Nebraska.  Sorry Tennessee!

cherkell: We return to the most vacant boulevard in all of Gangnam-gu, where Our Leads are still standing in the middle of the intersection in a tertiary Wrist Grab to End All Wrist Grabs. Bean Princess pulls her wrist away first, saying to Good and Bad Heir that she can’t do this anymore. Good Heir finally recognizes that he’s been the source of all her pain, but insists she come with him. Bad Heir insists that she doesn’t go with Good Heir. EOTTOKE ?!? JoAnne: Psssst - go with the eyebrows, Beanie.  Do it.!  Do it!  I know she won't.  There's not a chance in hell she will.  What can I say?  I ship Woo Bin with everyone and everything on Earth.

Shuk: At the half-way point to this rollercoaster, we still don't know Won's issues with his younger brother (that's easy! he just doesn't like him) , why Rachel's mother needs to marry a clearly violent and womanizing Young-do's father (money, money, money) , Hyo-shin's suicidal tendencies (life is hard, babe) or his fascination with his tutor, or the reason behind the actions of Tan and Won's father (can't keep his d... in his pants, has troubles dealing with the consequences) . What do we know? Young-do is even hotter when he's sincere or confused, Eun-sang is still bland and boring, and Kim Tan confuses the hell out of me with his bipolar behavior. kakashi: I have the solution to this mess, but nobody ever listens to me ... Won needs to get laid, Rachel's mother needs to get laid, but not by the abusive father, but by Teddybear Ahjussi, Hyo-shik needs to get laid by Tutorina (oups, wait ... that would make her a two-timer! no good!), an...

JoAnne here, praying to the drama gods for more awesomeness. I need to keep Kakashi moving on this positive path! Yay! It's Ep 10! Let's gooooooooo! Shuk: I am currently in California with the inimitable cherkell, to see the Infinite concert in San Jose. The timezone change has me waking up at odd hours, and craving strange foods (anyone else heard of Dutch Baby Pancakes?), but, together, we will be commenting on this episode. Episode 10 JoAnne: We're back in the courtyard with Beanie and the boys, and I swear my heart is immediately in my throat again. Tannie plays it off; Young Do knows something is up, though, and it makes him a bit nuts. He barks up several wrong trees and is NOT pleased to hear Tan confess that he is 'dating' Cha Eun Sang. Umm... except now you're ignoring each other in school? Stories. Get them straight. Shuk: The show has a lot of staredowns, but I have to admit, I've enjoyed most of them, especially between our boys.  ...

kakashi: Believe it or not, this is the episode in which I get it! Hooray, kakashi now understands these characters’ motivations! Kind of! Ah, this makes my life just so.much.easier ... Well, I still don’t fully understand the writer’s motivation for writing these characters, but I am not kidding you, this episode was an eye opener. I still think that 50% of the whole cast is redundant and I do hope the producers get a severe reprimand for flooding us with PPL in each and every scene, but the central characters’ aches and strives worked for me. JoAnne: I could cry, right now. kakashi: Ready? I know I am ... This I bought to steel myself against JoAnne's certain "I told you so"-smugness . One shot! JoAnne: Getting me drunk is definitely a way to avoid me being smug. Or being able to formulate the words 'I told you so' without giggling or hiccuping.

JoAnne here! Filling in for Cher, who's a bit under the weather. Let's all send her healing thoughts while we marvel over the boys and girls, shall we? kakashi: Get well soon, cher!!! Hey, JoAnne ... we should send Ji Chang-wook over to make her porridge and stuff! ("and stuff" stands for all the naughty things you can imagine) Then again, I think I'm alone among my squeeing sisters (but probably not some of you lovely readers) - because I'm fully on board this ship. Which ship, you ask? Good question, because there's a veritable flotilla of them in this drama! And I love them all... kakashi: You, my dear JoAnne, will be pleased to hear that I did feel a slight flutter in the heart region while watching this episode. We are FAR FROM love, me and this drama. But my absolute coldness has given way to detached ... something. Not sure yet what this something is. But something is better than nothing.

Shuk: Love is in the air at Snooty High as our boys tussle with their feelings, not necessarily in a good way.   JoAnne: I'm very worried there will never be any good tussling with Bad Heir. It never moves. And his expressions make me want to tussle really really bad.

kakashi: Oh man. There is a lot of pent-up rage in this chicka here. Imagine, the bus was late! Like ... really late! Twice! It is so wonderful that I can unleash some of this anger on Heirs now. You must know that 2.5 out of 4 recappers have already fallen for this show. Tsts. Unbelievable. But I will stand strong! I will remain the bastion of Heirlessness! And believe me ... it was really easy. In short? A lousy episode. JoAnne: Deng! Not so! (Come to me, my tiny fluffy chicks of teenage confusion.) Episode 6 kakashi: Bean Princess disturbs the eye-loving between our Frenemies (who have made JoAnne lose her panties). Kids, it is dangerous to walk and fondle your smartphones! Seriously. I know someone who knows someone who has died because of it. JoAnne:  Honestly, I heard this loud boom and when I went upstairs, even the panties in my top dresser drawer had burst into flames.

JoAnne: It's me! It's me back with fresh heirs! I'm so excited! We are in Korea, we are in the same house, (except for my poor pissy Sex Heir, who looks very tired underneath the constant bitch face), and we are going to school!  This is me:  No but really I am very excited.  Good things are going to happen, I just know it.

cherkell:  Hi gang!  My turn to take on "War and Peace: The Teenage Years"... *looks at script*  Oh sorry.  It's actually entitled 'The Heirs: Let's Tack On An Undescribeable Tagline And Call It A Day."  As a recent Golden State transplant, I must apologize for the lame description of my fellow Californians because we're not all like that.  Well, some are.  But not most.  I digress... on with the show! JoAnne:  I feel like that Kristin Wiig character in SNL who really likes parties.  Oh - my - gawwwwwwwwwwwwd, this is so EXCITING. Not the show, no. That's not particularly exciting, yet. But I get to comment! EPISODE 4 cherkell:  We return to the scene of the clinch… erm, I mean crime at the LAX departure lobby.  Tempermental Heir decides the Los Angeles summers are too cold and snuggles up to Cool Heir for some body heat, as Bean Princess looks on that happy tableau and Cool Heir looks up to catch Bean Princess looking...

Shuk: Hi everyone! It’s my turn to recap. I don’t have the turns of phrase that my intrepid chingu-a have, but I will do my best to be entertaining. BTW, the movie theater is the Gaslamp Reading Cinema in San Diego. When they step out and see the Hollywood sign, they are on the corner of North Beachwood Drive and Glen Tower Rd in Los Angeles. That’s 127 miles, but hey! It’s Hollywood! Also, the car is a 2014 Maserati GranCabrio MC in Rosso Trionfale red. And you can lease one for $ 1600/month. Or buy for $ 135,000, your choice. (thanks to Shel for the info!) kakashi: I have no idea what intrepid means (can one eat it?) but I do know that I would very much like this car. Without the passengers, mind you. I’m Anti-Nose, Pro-Car. Also, this drama is disturbing. I’ll tell you why in a bit... And it is not because of the incredible wormhole travelling abilities of our OTP. Though if this drama turns out to be about aliens, I’ll bet he first to love it to bits.

kakashi: Hello chingus, I am so glad it is my turn now! We have a crazily complicated roster for SqueeCapping this baby called Heirs and I could barely hold still yesterday. I mean ... seriously! I. Did. Not. Like. The. First. Episode. Like NOT AT ALL. Like: hate with a vengeance not at all like. JoAnne:  She's always this way about everything at first, though.  Remember WAML? kakashi: Uhm ... why? Don't tell me I ended up liking that show?! Is that on record anywhere?! kakashi: But everybody familiar with me knows: I am a very kind, very understanding person. And that is why I am giving this drama a second chance. This is its chance. Do good, episode 2!!! The big questions for me are: Will we finally leave cliché-deluxe-territory? Will we see Lee Min-ho naked? Will I bother to learn any of the names? Will someone cry? Will the English language be butchered more? Will we see more perfect bosoms? Etc.   JoAnne: Uh-huh. Sure. Yes! Nope. Bet not. Never. Definitely. Oh ...

JoAnne: It's heir, it's heir, it's really, really heir! Ok...I couldn't resist that. As you well know, I haven't passed up the opportunity for a single pun, good or bad, in the last 48 hours to get myself ready for this. Because I was waiting for THEM, people. The heirs. Will they let me down and break my heart in the time-honored chaebol way? I certainly hope so. You can't really be funny from a happy place, after all. Shall we get to it? Let the heart aches, bad puns, and nicknames begin! Episode 1 JoAnne: Someone who is not Lee Min Ho but will magically turn into him during close-ups is surfing in sunny California. It's comforting to see that even IN the US, a KDrama production company will select the absolute worst Western actors possible. I do like consistency. I also wonder if the girl that Lee Min Ho kisses realizes how many fan girls just signed her death warrant? cherkell: BAYWATCH FLASHBACKS! First off, the Coast Guard would bust you for s...