14 December 2013


The Heirs - Episode 19 (A Final SqueeCap and Toast: Heir's To What Might Have Been)

Posted by CM Shukmeister on December 14, 2013
Hi everyone!  This is Shukmeister on what will be my final SqueeCap recap. I appreciated everyone who joined the funhouse ride with me in April 2013 with "When A Man Loves - Episode 2".  I also expect bigger and better things from my chingu in the future!
kakashi: It is a dangerous thing to say "my final SqueeCap". These suckers have a tendencies to sneak up behind you and tackle you to the ground when you least expect it. But you're always welcome to change your mind when that happens.
JoAnne:  Hmmm.


Shuk:  Everyone is milling around in their finery, while Papa the Hutt oozes around with his KiWifey, palm slapping and gum flapping. The crowd includes GumiHeir's blind date, and someone who may be Peevil's brother.
kakashi: Everybody and their dog is there, all the aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins' cousins AND their mistresses. 
JoAnne: The only dogs I saw were walking upright. I fully expected Bean Sister to walk in, somehow.
Shuk: The youngsters are milling by the purple billiard table, and Thick is wearing his mom's upholstery and taking PPL selcas with a big-a$$ camera. He stops short when he see Peevil's glare, and everyone sighs in relief when he looks elsewhere.
kakashi: Last chance to score big with PPL. Doing really well on that account, Heirs. It's the only 10 out of 10 you get from me. 
Shuk:  Bo Na calls out to an oppa in the crowd, and Baby's hackles pop up. The rest just want to see the show. Chan-young ends up looking like an ass, because it's her REAL oppa, freshly scrubbed from New York City.  Wait, he didn't even know his girlfriend has siblings?  Gotta throw the BS flag on that play, Show. Baby switches over to Suck-Up-To-Big-Bro mode, much to the delight of everyone else.
kakashi: Sigh. Why. Oh, that rhymes! Why did they have to change his character so that he is now the jealous boyfriend?! Is this supposed to be cute or what? Another character .... destroyed. And I always thought the BS flag would be brown, but the yellow is very effective, too.
JoAnne: He could know she had a brother but not ever have met him to know him, and we all know an oppa ain't always an OPPA, you know?  Wasn't he always playing that jealousy/aegyo thing with her though?  Nope.  He wasn't pressed at all about Kim Tan.  Hmm.
Shuk:  Gumi-heir spots the matseon chick.  The conversation: She: Dad wants me to marry you. Gumi: Um, not even on a good day. Hell no.
kakashi: Pointless filler, but probably there to show us the big difference between Won (evil/spineless) and Tan (good/hero). And wtf is that woman wearing around her neck?
JoAnne:  My thoughts exactly, although not necessarily framed as good or evil, just - what do you prioritize?
Shuk:  Red Mini Beany and quilted TP KT arrive into an epileptic's nightmare of strobe flashes,  and we are subjected to more pointless staring. They walk in to some decent catwalk music, and both the seniors and the kids know right away that the gauntlet is thrown.  But not in front of the cameras. Beany gets introduced to the family and the reporters shout for a sound bite, but Peevil clears them out instead.
kakashi: So many obstacles (uhm ...) but you have overcome them all! You are so incredibly strong! Hwaiting! 
JoAnne:  Amazing what a good night's rest can do.
Shuk: They retire to the Tufted Miss Tuffet Room at the DRamada Zeus hotel; Papa immediately yells but seems petty and small rather than evil and dangerous.  In the eyes of Kim Tan too, who is completely unaffected by his father, and asks for his blessing for their relationship. Peevil tells them to go ahead and date; they will regret it later, and he's just letting them off the hook for now.  More staring and a hug.
kakashi: Just perfect, drama. I LOVE IT when characters just suddenly change their mind like this. It makes for a warm fuzzy feeling of precious time lost with you. 
JoAnne: I will admit to several occasions where I started to ask the universe 'if... then why the f....' and then gave up, usually because they distracted me with something really ugly (clothes) or really pretty (Woob, Gumi, Chan Young, HyoShin, hell...even Thick.)
Shuk: KiMom is pensively sitting in Young-do's room. Okay it's only a hope; his is 3405 and hers is 3409. Hey a girl can fanfic, right?  Anyway, she's surprised to see her son and her bestie's daughter at the door, complete with a cake full of candles.  She realizes that the pair came back from the party together. He gives him mom an old-fashioned key necklace and thanks her for giving birth to him.
kakashi: I am sorry, this is of course sweet, but I am gagging. That's what too much sweet does to you. 
JoAnne:  You say this now because yours is tiny and cute and snuggly but I'm going to tell you, the day will come when this gesture of thoughtfulness and love will make you tear up.  Because children grow up to be less snuggly and thoughtful, although that changes back again after a while.  I thought this scene was adorably sweet, but then I don't think it would be possible to be too nice to KiMom, at this point.
Shuk:  The next day our two awesome moms are reunited, and there are happy smiles all around.  The car is parked, 1000 meters away from, well, anything, giving us a nice chance for the the moms to walk arm-in-arm and chat for a while.  Beany is a couple of steps behind them, and calls Loverboy for an update.
kakashi: Another great couple that could have been. That would be something different: a love story between two moms! Just putting it out there, KDramaverse! 
JoAnne:  They actually get best OTP in this drama, from me.
Shuk: Kim Tan is meeting with Young-do, Knit-And-Leather to Pumpkin Sweater, to thank him for taking care of his mom. Blacky snarks a bit, but then admits he hated Tan for his mom leaving just because he needed someone to hate. Mr #100 claims to have known that the entire time.
kakashi: Caring is staring.
JoAnne:  Like the rest of us, Kim Tan was hoping for X-Ray vision. 
Shuk: Young-do ends up at the studio, where pictures of the couple at the birthday party are perfectly spread out.  Thick comes in, still wearing the party pants, and yells at Blacky that first loves never end well. They end up smiling at each other.  Will these two spend long hours together in a jimjilbang scrubbing each other's backs?  Unfortunately, the show is nearly over and it's too late for anything even remotely interesting to happen [sigh].
kakashi: We're no in the wrappy-uppy mode. Another bow neatly tied. And buahahahaha to what Thick is wearing.
JoAnne:  Next year, on Heirs:  Less is More...
Shuk:  Two short vignettes: Young-do is working harder than ever at his Taekwondo skills, determined to beat his father. Ooh, me likey the fire of determination in his eyes. The moms are drinking soju and talking about their lives. KiMom feels she was punished for wanting things that she couldn't have and not keeping what was hers, like her son.  She ends up in a crying jag on the beach, with BeanQueen by her side.
kakashi: More wrappy-uppy. Wrappy-uppy is always soooooooo booooooooooooooooooooring.
JoAnne:  Nekkid Taekwondo.  Is that a thing?  Can we make that a thing?  It would hurt, though.  I don't care!  I'm not doing it, I'm watching it! Oh wait though.  I do not want to see Bad Dad nekkid.  No I do not. ESPECIALLY not being all grabby and flippy with a nekkid Woo~~~~no no no make these pictures STOP.
Shuk:  Beany manages to get the two brothers to talk at a cafe. She tells GumiHot she intends to move back to the old neighborhood. Kim Tan wants her to move into the prepared apartment, but she ain't having none of it. After all, what would happen if they break up? Won is amused as his brother drags his girlfriend out, still bickering.
kakashi: He may be amused, but I am not amused. I think I will sue SBS for 20+ hours lost. will 20 million do? I'll give you some, Shuk. 
JoAnne:  Is it only me who wonders how they might now suddenly have the thousands of dollars needed for the downpayment to move back into their old place? Which they did not have two weeks ago when they lived in a room off the kitchen, or last week when they were moved to a shack by the sea?
Shuk:  Kim Tan goes to BeanQueen to ask her blessing, but she just continues to darn socks. A split second later, KiMom storms out of the adjoining room. What, you don't approve of her handsome son? BeanQ signs she doesn't want to deal with the family, and her daughter is pretty and bright enough to have a good future without him. Only Eun-sang understands, but they all know she isn't agreeing to the match.  Beany tries to spin her words into something positive, but Mom throws a shoulder-punch at the fabrication. Loverboy dives and takes the hit for his girlfriend.  BeanMom is shocked, and Tan hams it up for sympathy.  He gets another smack for poor acting, but everyone is now smiling.
kakashi: Ho-ho-ho, funny, funny, funny. 
JoAnne:  You have a heart of stone.  It WAS funny.
Shuk: At the sub-basement rooftop apartment, Beany arrives with more worldly goods than ever fit into that teeny tiny room at the mansion. Kim Tan is there, and surprises her with a video of herself.  I don't think she's that narcissistic, but he gets a quick cheek kiss out of it anyway.
kakashi: I love it. Stalking made okay by presenting the victim with videos of herself. 
Shuk:  At school, the girls are picking on Rachel now that she no longer has Kim Tan's engagement to back her. But she still has Choi Young-do, who becomes her Black Knight now. She snarks that he should be bad and flip up his hair again, but he likes it down. Outside, she wonders why the kids are no longer scared of them anymore, but he offers to be her brother anyway.  They amicably part just as Eun-sang shows up.  Blacky just walks right on past her.
kakashi: More wrappy-uppy. The 1% tension in this show just dropped to 0.0005%. So does the tension in my muscles and I am not sure for how much longer I can fight the urge to sleeeeeeeep. 
JoAnne:  I was very disappointed in you, Ye Sol.
Shuk: The test results are out.  Kim Tan runs off with them, and Beany makes him stop and snatches the paper away from him. He retaliates by stealing her wallet by the snack machine.  Baby saves the day by texting her the exam results: #100 is now # 50.  So he's twice the scholar he was.  But Young-do is 27th.  Hee.
kakashi: I am guessing this should amuse us? Or is it to show he isn't that stupid after all? 
JoAnne:  Did we ever actually think either of them were?
kakashi: Uhm, yes? 
Shuk:  Mr. 100? Absolutely an idiot. Mr. 97? Just hot lazyness.
Shuk:  It's Wrestle Time with The 'Rent as Blacky and BadDad tussle it out on the mats.  And Young-do finally pins him.  Dad is surprised and grants him a boon.  All Young-do wants to know is where his mom is, but Dad doesn't know.
kakashi: D'awwwwwwz, BadDad is now GoodDad! So well done, show, really, great character development. 
JoAnne:  I struggle with this.  I never thought that Bad Dad didn't care for his son, but I thought his way of teaching was horrifying.  But to buy his moment of relative empathy now, I would have needed to see a moment of that earlier in the show, when he was being most horrific. Since we didn't have that, this seems too abrupt.
Shuk:  He ends up at the noodle shop in his haksaeng uniform, sitting at the same table by the graffiti wall. It's the first time he's been there dressed in Jeguk colors, with his name badge, and the ramyun ahjumma is very happy.  She knew who he was, but not his name.  Five years ago, a beautiful woman left a business card to give to him.  He takes it in hand as the Deus Ex Machina piano plays softly in the background. The card is for "The Secret Garden Brunch Cafe".
kakashi: Hint-hint-nudge-nudge, wow. This show just took lame to another level.
JoAnne:  My Young do deserves better than this. 
Shuk:  At school, Kim Tan asks Bo Na what Beany's likes and dislikes are.  She denies them being friends, then proceeds to list all kinds of facts about the Bean Princess. Later, at the studio, Bo Na, Messy, and Beany discuss audiovisual stuff.  There's a high school full of hot guys that are requesting an anchor from Jeguk to help with a school festival.  Bo Na and Beany decided their representatives at PPL Mango Six.  After they leave, Messy immediately contacts Loverboy and Baby. The boys and girls are comfortably chatting when Baby and Loverboy show up.  I giggle when I realize the BGM is "Santa Claus is Coming To Town".  The boys go caveman, the cuties scatter, the girls are not amused. There's cross-snark before they leave the cafe. Tan admits to being jealous but also enjoying their bickering.  And he finally gives her back her stuff in a new pink wallet with his picture in it.
kakashi: Uhm ... so tell me. We really needed to see Tan get jealous because ... we didn't believe he was in love before? 
JoAnne:  We've seen him be jealous before. I think this was just cute couple moment #12 in the KDrama Library of Scenes To Film in Final Episode of HS Drama. It was stupid, but my takeaway: Bo Na and Eun Sang as friends, Chan Young and Kim Tan as friends. Things I did want to see.
cherkell:  And because I CAN, here is Kang Ha-neul's only scene in Episode 19. WHY OH GOD WHY ARE THEY UNDERUTILIZING MY MESSY?!? *wails*
Shuk:  Teddy Bear Ahjussi is looking good in coat, scarf, and styled hair as he bumps into his old lover.  She looks surprised to see him there. He is no longer Vice President, and she is no longer engaged. And hearts swell, as well as other body parts.
kakashi: Oh, gross. 
JoAnne:  There was no swelling.  Unless you mean my gorge, just now.
Shuk:  Hee. Okay, that was a bit of artistic license.
Shuk:  KiMom and Tan are back at the hotel, sharing wine and conversation. She plans to walk on her own, without bodyguards, and just be. She asks that he consider going back to his father, who is all alone now.  He refuses, of course. And Papa The Hutt pops a head gasket and envisions his two sons at a younger age, reliving his decision to treat the youngest like crap in deference to the older. He comes back to the present and drops.
kakashi: Ah, good. Bye, bye Peevil. I hope you die before this show tries to turn you into a good guy. 
JoAnne:  That this man could love his sons and treat them as he did boggles my mind. Do you think this actor gets depressed when he thinks back over his long, long career of despicable men?  And I include Soon Shin's dad, even though he died fast.  I mean come on - he lied to his wife for 20 years. How is that a good person?
Shuk: Everyone gets to the hospital in their various Maserati's. KiPapa is hooked to a ventilator and in a coma. His brain is swollen as well as bleeding.  KiMom is upset and holding his hand. The boys are upset.  KimWifey is in her spiderweb office, planning to take everything.
kakashi: The tension is rising to 1.5%. Dun-dun-dun. 
JoAnne:  Like Cher has mentioned, I would have liked this part to have begun earlier and been given more of the storyline.  I would have enjoyed quite a bit of watching the brothers join forces to combat that evil bitch and her slimey henchmen.
Shuk: TB Ahjussi discusses what KimWifey might plan and ways to stop her.  Tan stays with KimPapa and his mother while Won and Yoon head to the office.  He tells her to leave before Wifey shows and makes a scene; he will stay with his father for now.
kakashi: I suspect this show is trying to create this incredible twist, in which KimWifey is the real evil force behind it all and .... who the fuck cares. 
JoAnne:  Illustration to support why KimPapa thought he needed to do what he did with his sons, I suppose. 
Shuk:  KimWifey has an impromptu meeting with the Board of Directors of Jeguk Group, expressing her concerns over her sons' capabilities to handle the company in the face of other family members. She posits that since he was the sole owner, if they put her in power, she will share.
kakashi: Hey, I even agree with her. These sons are pretty incapable. 
JoAnne: Don't forget that Baby Daddy has picked a side.  They have a chance. And no one ever said Wonnie was bad at the business side of things.  Just emotions and his dad's fuckery, which is, to be fair, next-level shit.
Shuk:  Young-do is in his room, scant yards from KiMistress, thinking about that business card.  He decides to head down to the hotel scullery.  While scrubbing dishes, the employees start whispering that the federales were raiding the corporate offices.  He drops the brown gloves (why aren't they pink? Show can't get anything right) and scurries upstairs to his father's office, to find that it was really happening. He freaks out at the chaos, but his dad tells him to calm down, and he is removed from the office and the incriminating blue boxes.
kakashi: D'aaaaaawwwwwwwz, they so love each other. 
JoAnne:  I admit to some confusion:  do you think that Bad Dad really has done illegal stuff?  Or do you think that he has merely pushed the limits, along the lines of his very early comment that if there is not a rule against something, it's fair game? I thought he was an ass, but I never thought of him as a crook.
Shuk:  Kim Tan decides to hold his comatose father's hand.  We see there are two EKG monitors, probably because it takes the strength of two to find a heartbeat in that shriveled organ.  Kim Wifey finally shows up and wonders out loud if his mother was banned from the room for not being family. Bitch.  He quietly tells her that she is his family, but she was late. She exults that, since there is little hope he will awaken from his coma, she is now Tan's guardian and can take his stocks.  He tells her not to mess with the stocks he was given, and that he plans to ask his hyung to be his guardian. She is okay with that, since that would leave him and his mother out of the company and with nothing. Welcome to the world of greed, my son.
kakashi: Seriously, why did they have to get rid of one unpleasant character (Peevil) just to seamlessly replace him by the same unpleasant character, just one without a ding dong mcdor? 
Shuk:  GumiHeir shows up, and she leaves, commenting that they really do look alike. Hyung takes over the deathwatch, and Tanny heads up to his mother's hotel room.  On impulse, he goes to the rooftop.  Kakashi must be ecstatic - a rooftop!  A rooftop!  Like Greta Garbo, Kim Tan probably wants to be alone, but no dice.  Choi Young-do is already up there, and the two boys turn and look at each other, both looking a little lost.  Young-do still has the better jacket and the better bruised expression. Still, it's a moment of communication for both as they silently look over the Han River. Ooh, I suddenly got a Heartless City vibe! [shiver]
kakashi: Yeah. Totally ecstatic. But also crying. Why did you have to mention Heartless City .... I miss it so!!!! 
JoAnne:  Ooh, I was too busy laughing at how they didn't notice each other until they were actually standing next to each other to have any thoughts about Cutie Soo and Baksa Adeul.  Now I'm sad. Woo Bin is totally Baksa, though, and Lee Min Ho would be Cutie Soo.


Shuk:  At the begining of this episode, Beany and Tanny were together, Baby and Bo Na were cute, Blacky and Rachel were alone, and Messed Up's problem hasn't been resolved.  At the end, Beany and Tanny are together, Baby and Bo Na are cute, Blacky and Rachel are alone, and Messed Up's problem isn't resolved. Kim Wifey is a biatch, but we knew that too.  Was anything resolved?  Did anything happen? Did I just waste 59 minutes I'll never get back? I think we can answer in the positive. Young-do will go see his mom. Other than than, I see nothing but blank stares and pointless scenes for the final episode.  But at least it's the end!
kakashi: Let's go for a class action. I am sure cherkell knows how to do it. Let's ask for 20 million for each of us, compensation for personal suffering. Only JoAnne doesn't get any, because she liked it. 
JoAnne:  Fuck you I want money.
cherkell:  I'd do it in a heartbeat...  but you can't afford me.
kakashi: Let's do some crowdfunding! DM message me for my account number.  

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