Jang Bori Is Here! - Episode 34 (KimJiCap)

This is the almost wedding episode! Oh boy, I can't wait to see it go downhill for the Bitch-Troll ... and the downhill is coming, that much is clear! I mean, she's already on a slope so steep you can't see the bottom! There's not enough Kim Ji-hoon in this episode though (I think I've had to say that before), but the little bit we get is GREAT! Anyway, this creates an issue for my KimJiCaps. If I put all the Kim Ji-hoon unrelated stuff down into "The Rest", there will be almost nothing in the main text. You people don't care about things like that? Thought so.
JoAnne: Well we see what YOU care about, anyway! I'm just worried about the rest of the drama, because if we're already at the wedding... so is she going to get caught and not marry or is she going to get married and then caught? I'm guessing married and then caught (you know, later, after she ruins more lives) which means she has to ignore that... situation that is coming. PS I am very happy about this picture and what it means.
Oups, spoiler. Sawry, people. 
Episode 34

Min-jung is moving out of Bi Sool Chae (nice), sneakily sneaking the sneaky suitcase out of the locked cupboard. She would like to move it herself and herself only (does she fear that the stolen pictures might jump out?) ... but then, her "parents" come in and the servant takes the suitcase. She lies about not having the slightest idea what was in the locked cupboard - after Bong2 has left the room, BaDIL hugs her, happy that she wasn't the picture-stealing culprit, as she suspected.
JoAnne: So Bong2 and BaDIL must have had a conversation about this off screen or did I fall asleep somewhere?
Nope, they never talked about it. But they both had the same suspicion
Bori in a hanbok next! That's the first time she's wearing one, right? (yes) She is presently at Bi Sool Chae, and kindly picks up Min-jung's red suitcase, that toppled over. Min-jung freaks out and babbles nasty stuff. The usual, yes. In the end, she has the glorious idea that she needs to find that crosstitch genius piece. Because whoever has it will automatically be the Chosen Hanboker. From her real mother, she finds out that Bori had it wrapped around her neck when she was found and that the piece was turned into a pillow case. Veggie is tasked with getting it and delivering it to Min-jung asap, but Bori catches wind of it. Hehe. And we all know that Veggie is pretty useless.
JoAnne: Are you, like me, highly skeptical that gold thread embroidery would hold up as well as portrayed when used on a pillow that people have been putting their heads on? I have done embroidery with gold thread, and lemme tell ya... doing the EMBROIDERY can mess up that thread. Forget actual use. Perhaps it's a mystical magical yongbo and somewhere within Bi Sool Chae there is One Perfect Hanbok and when the two are co-located they will join together and some how proclaim Bori as the rightful heir while magically setting MinJung's hair on fire or something.
kakashi: You forget that it was made by a late GENIUS. A genius' yangbo is not destroyed by use as a pillow. It only gets stronger
Inside, Bong2 has come up with the brilliant idea to have Bori draw things.
JoAnne: Fine, yes, it's a good idea. It only took him 25 years to have it.

I think it's friggin 25 minutes before Kim Ji-hoon appears in this episode?! WTF! Anyway, he's here now and I am happy. He is currently helping Bori to hang up the washing and takes pleasure in her, well, slightly unelegant underwear. That gets him to say that there is nobody he knows as pretty as her even without dolling up - but why does she never wear a skirt?
JoAnne: He is playing with her panties. Believe me, that sounds a lot more enticing than it looks.
That's my girl! She says she wears pants because they're comfortable - and if she walks upstairs, she doesn't have to worry about someone seeing her pants. On the bus, she doesn't have to have her legs closed. And she is running all the time ... a mini skirt would be a hindrance. Jae-hwa is not convinced.
JoAnne: Of course not, because he unconsciously subscribes to the patriarchal view that women exist for man's pleasure. Bori is a modern woman; she speaks her truth and she stands her ground. Jae Hwa is headed there, but he's got a ways to go. What. You think my constant objectification of men doesn't have a political slant? (It actually doesn't, but periodically I try to make it look good.)
So you're saying Jae-hwa is quasi a feminist? No? 
It's make-over time à la "Pretty Woman". The Jae-hwa version, anyway. I don't understand why he doesn't like Bori's ultra sexy outfits (she looks so GOOD in that stuff!! And those legs!!!), but he picks something, uhm, a bit ... schoolteachery for her, and that one he likes. Ah, this is for Min-jung's wedding? Uhm. Oh well. I like that he wants to go there as a couple: plus kiddo.
JoAnne: That red dress was killer, I agree, but that's not a dress for attending a wedding.  And the dress that they ended up choosing was NOT schoolteachery at all (hey! my schoolteacher wore dresses like that!), plus perfectly suited to the event.  MAN does she have a great figure and terrific legs.
And they get matching shirts!!!! D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwz.
JoAnne: The squees were not containable. If the dog were here, she'd have barked at me. Although I personally find that neckline a bit awkward, perhaps because my neck is really only the suggestion of a neck. There's a tiiiiiiiny bit of space between my skull and my shoulders, and I just deal with it.
Jae-hwa drags Bori up some hill at night - he wants to go to the end of the world with her! It's a viewing platform (you mainly see .... motorways, but hey! they look pretty at night). Yeah, she also thinks is pretty, but Jae-hwa only has eyes for her. The real pretty thing, much prettier than anything else in the world is her. He wants to go to the end of the world with her.
JoAnne: As long as there's no fucking POLAR bears, I'm fine with whatever he wants.
Polar Bear? That reminds me ... never mind
She pushes him away (well, not physically, this time) by saying that he shouldn't be thinking of her and Bi-dan anymore. Does she really mean that? he asks. It's the time for truth. Does she not like him? Does she not like it that he likes her? She struggles with herself, the poor woman ... come on, just take what's right in front of you!
JoAnne: Yes, take it. Take it right now. 

He takes a round pebble into the left hand, makes two fists and tells her the hand with the rock means "Yes", the empty hand means "no". What is her answer? She points to his left hand, to indicate her dislike. Is she sure? he asks. She nods. Alright, he says, he asked her whether she disliked his love so her answer is ... he opens the hand and throws the pebble into the night ... "No". Heheheeeee, you smartass.
JoAnne: I ... yeah, kinda lost on that one. Is he saying her objections will be dismissed?
He obviously watched "It's Okay, It's Love". It's the same trick they talked about in the talk show: what do you do if a serial killer asks you to pick a note, telling you there's one that says he'll let you go and one that says he will kill you but there are in fact two that say he'll kill you! 
He wants to go to Jangheung with her and make a living by farming, selling rice soup, and hanbok. She goes "why would I live with you when I have a family?" and he goes "well, didn't you know you live with your husband after marriage?". Yes, she heard correctly: he wants to marry her. And he wants to be Bi-dan's real dad. Seriously woman: resistance is futile with this one. And WHY WOULD YOU even try to resist him?! Life is too short to waste any time.
JoAnne: Seriously. Why on EARTH would you say no to him? Even his ears are perfect. (ha! made you look!)
Be assured. I have studied his ears before
And the sweetest thing is ... the reason he gives her for wanting to marry her. It's just because he loves her so much. The end. Kakashi is dead.
JoAnne: is dead too.
Dumb Mom snoops around in Min-jung's room and finds her red suitcase. She opens it and sees a picture of  Eun-bi, putting it on the bed. She is just about to open the photo album that's also in there when Jae-hwa comes in. She quickly closes the suitcase and puts it back, but the framed picture of Eun-bi falls to the floor. I shouted as loud as I could, but Jae-hwa doesn't see it. Damn. 5 more episodes?
JoAnne: The natural order of things would be that MinJung gets thrown out on her well-dressed, tiny, evil ASS right about the same moment that Bori is revealed as Eun Bi. But somehow, I think we're going to get one, for a while, without the other.  I just don't see how they work it.  Bori can't be Eun Bi without MinJung just NATURALLY being exposed, so it must be that MinJung gets married and does more damage for a while while the possibility of Bori being Eun Bi is dangled in front of Bi Sool Chae's eyes. Right? But how long can that be dragged out, really? What do YOU guys think?

At Bi Sool-Chae, Bori is cleaning up the mess in the storage room. Suddenly, she gets a bad headache. Is it the thunderstorm? Bong2 and BaDIL are about to leave for the wedding, when BaDIL sees the drawing kit has been returned. Even though his wife urges him to hurry, Bong2 takes a look what is inside. It's the Eun-bi picture. Only that Eun-bi has Bori's face.
JoAnne: Her skills have developed a little bit. It would be too weird if she were still drawing chunky kids.
It's a cluuuuuuuuuue
Bong2 runs to the storage room, where Bori is about to collapse. Memories are flooding back. Memories of her in her grandmother's room, while she reads the story about the wolf with red eyes. Memories of hugging her mother. Memories of the hanbok competition. Memories of running with crybaby Jae-hwa. Memories of eating jjajangmyeon. Memories of flying a kite with Jae-hwa.
JoAnne: So either she goes into a coma now for a while, or everyone is going to know who she is in about 30 seconds, and then Min Jung  - well, maybe Bori doesn't tell the whole story. Ah, who knows.

Bong2 busts open the door, and turning towards him is ... Eun-bi/Bori. "The wolf ate the sheep", says the woman he just addressed as Eun-bi, "it's so scary" - and crumbles to the floor. He catches her in his arms and they stare at each other.
JoAnne: Coma it is, then.

The Rest

Moony is back, and back with a vengeance! As the new head secretary of Bad Dad, he will be in charge of the VIPs at the wedding (which is tomorrow!). Hehehe. Min-jung? Feeling apprehensive much? Jae-hee is furious (Still thinking Moony did something bad to Min-jung, which, well, he actually has, but we're all very much on his side most of the time)
JoAnne: On his side all the time. All the time. That bitch is going down. And if you ever told me a few months ago that I'd think OppaNotOppa could be kind of sexy I'd have laughed at you, but now I'd be eating my words... because AppaNotOppa is kinda hot.
At the Lee House, Veggie taks Min-jung's side in a small fight with Dumb Mom and is repaid by Min-jung scolding her loudly in front of Dumb Mom. Pfffft.
JoAnne: Seriously, Mom. You gotta stop.

Big Kang picks up Jung-ran on the street as "hitch hiker". They hint at "new life". See? This is why nobody ever has sex in KDrama! You get knocked up immediately!
JoAnne: I wonder if there's a correlation between what is apparently a population with raging fertility, and the increase in birth secrets and doppelgangers. Think about it. If you have a smallish population just procreatin' all over the place, you're bound to get some gene pooling.
Oh and then, then ....... Min-jung meets her old girl friends! Yes, the ones that Moony invited to the wedding, pretending it was his. Moony, the revenger, got them to come to a bar ... but Min-jung thinks she's just meeting with Jae-hee and Little Kang. Only they think she has come to meet with her friends. Who believe MJ sent them a message. And no, none of them sent anyone a text message about meeting. Hehehheeeeeeee.
JoAnne: I am still pissed about this. Don't even talk to me about those idiots.

Min-jung tries to get her "friends" to not-talk about her past but ........ look who's here! Moony in da house! If Jae-hee wants to know what kind of woman Min-jung is, listen well, Moony says. He greets Min-jung's friends, who all call him sunbae. What, sunbae? How could Min-jung's friends ... what, Min-jung has never mentioned him to Jae-hee, Moony asks all goody-goody. Oh, but they were ... in the same college club.
JoAnne: My heart is racing all over again.
Jae-hee turns to Min-jung, very surprised that she never told him about their mutual acquaintance. Why did she pretend not to know him? Min-jung goes into the usual lie-her-ass-off-mode and calls Jae-hee a stalker (laaaaame, come up with something new) and stuuuuuuupid, cause her friends go "what? Him a stalker? The person who liked him and chased after him was you!"
JoAnne: I was so hopeful.


Min-jung tries to save her pretty ass, but her "friends" are all on Moony's (and the truth's side). Jae-hee grabs Moony's nice jacket, all angry that he stages something like this - he should say what he has to say to his face! Oh yes, he has something to say: break off the wedding with the Bitch. He is doing this out of respect for Jae-hee: Min-jung loves only herself. And finally, Jae-hee gets it: Min-jung is THAT woman. The one that abandoned Moony.
JoAnne: Or so they want you to think, those fuckers running this show.
But before Moony can confirm this, Min-jung does a Hulk act and smashes glasses off the table. She cries and sobs and says she loves Jae-hee and Moony is a stalker (who went to jail) and blablablaaaa. Friggin THINK, Jae-hee! You're an idiot but I don't want you to suffer because of this terrible woman.
JoAnne; She was not the only one hulk smashing, but I did wait for a sec - because surely, surely her friends standing right there are going to mention that she was living with him? That they planned to marry? ....
Yeah. No. Commence Hulk Smash Sequence.
At night, in bed with BaDIL, she cries and says she wishes to be reborn at her wedding - she wants to forget her past completely, and she wants to be eternally loved by Jae-hee. I guess she means that. BaDIL says comforting words while she thinks that her one and only wish is to find her real daughter.
JoAnne: Ok that made me laugh, though.

Min-jung implores her real mother not to come to her wedding and take Bi-dan to a hospital, to make sure she is nowhere near that wedding. She also creates a huge mess in the silk storage room at Bi Sool Chae, making sure Bori is called to clean it up.
JoAnne: Because none of the other ten thousand women running around that place in hanbok all the time could possibly do it.

As the wedding is getting closer and closer, Moony is preparing his ultimate proof, which consists of pictures when Min-jung was young, the ultrsound picture of Bi-dan as fetus, and ... a wedding certificate? Wait ... they were married?! (I KNOW RIGHT?) He also adds a flash drive. Everything goes into a brown envelope. At that moment, Min-jung calls him. He presses record. Smart man. She says that Bi-dan is at the hospital. He seems to halfway believe her, but when he rushes to the car, he sees a dolled up Veggie getting into a taxi. Busted.
JoAnne: Even the universe thinks MinJung is a bitch.
But ... Jae-hee, THE IDIOT, has hired some thugs, to make sure Moony cannot destroy his wedding.  He gets a beating - lessened though because Big Kang comes to his help! - and they take his brown envelope. But Min-jung, oh Min-jung ... she gave Moony the ultimate proof just then and there, when she told him on the phone that this is about the daughter she abandoned. Welcome to the worst day of your life, Min-jung? His revenge seems almost complete.
JoAnne: I'd take a beating on my way to that show, wouldn't you?  And did you SEE Big Kang? How awesome was THAT? (Ok, not Action Jun Ki awesome, but close.)
Überhot! He was awesome!!! 

Hahahaaaaa, there's a thunderstorm even though there's not a single cloud in the sky. Veggie is waiting in front of the make-up place for Min-jung. She arrives with Jae-hee, in her wedding dress. Jae-hee receives a call from Moony, and as he turns away, Veggie quickly makes her way towards Min-jung, to give her a pair of rings. This, so Veggie believes, means Min-jung will be happy in life. She tries to make Min-jung take the rings, but she doesn't want them, so one gets flung onto the street. Veggie runs after it.
JoAnne: And all the while I'm going, 'That make up place looks like a church. Who would arrive to get made-up wearing their gown and veil already? No one, that's who. That's the church, subbers. The church.'
Hahahaha, yeah, I was VERY confused. But ... where is everyone? 
Moony tells Jae-hee he will be right there with the proof. Fine, says Jae-hee: he will listen.
JoAnne: Some part of him knows.
He goddamn even SAID it - this is the same woman that abandoned Moony. That means: it's also the woman who abandoned their child

And here comes the motorcycle of doom. Veggie Ahjumma down, Veggie Ahjumma down!!
JoAnne: Veggie Ahjumma and I have one thing in common. We did NOT see that coming.


Alright, I CANNOT wait for this wedding. Will it take place? Will it not take place? Let's take bets! Also taking bets for how much longer they can drag the Eun-bi mystery out. Bong2 could get amnesia, for example. That would prolong things. But you know what? I just realized that we have only 16 episodes to go. That makes me sad. I'm serious - I will miss this crazy drama. 
JoAnne: Um, yeah, well ... when you said there's only 16 episodes left to go, my immediate thought was, "16? That's not enough time! We need more time, it's practically OVER.' And then I remembered that for most dramas, 16 episodes is an entire story, and actually too MUCH time. Sigh. But at least I now know that anytime you want me to comment on a KJH drama I will, regardless of length. Bring on a daily! (God no please don't.)
I love you.