Old Nine Gates 老九门 - Episode 4 (Recap)

SakiVI: Tis with great regret that I must announce there were zero noodles in today's episode. I know, this is sad. How will we manage this show without? Everyone, take some time and make them yourselves.  On the plus side, we got lots of Fo Ye, Ba Ye is growing on me, and Er Ye continues to be perfect.
Oh, yes, I almost forgot: Chen Pi threw some temper tantrums.
kakashi: This episode is called "Entrance to the Mine" and OH BOY, am I excited about that! Mine-action! Finally! Tombs! I'm in this for the tombs! And for Fo Ye. And Fo Ye IN the tombs and caves and other orifices!

Episode 4 - Entrance to the Mine

At the Hong mansion, Ya Tou is delicately coughing, and Chen Pi says he will tell Er Ye she is worse, and she grabs his hand to say, "no, don't bother him!" and then releases Chen Pi's hand, which makes him sad. Aw, poor psychotic reject Chen Pi.
Do you think he was hit as a child? Or did he grow up with wolves looking like dogs? 
Judging from his terrible style sense, I think he grew up with wild dogs.
Anyway, Chen Pi protests that Ya Tou just keeps getting worse, and she complains she's taken and tried everything. Chen Pi says they'll go abroad for medicine and that he'd heard of something. He assures Ya Tou he will save her. Then, taking a deep breath, he goes to Er Ye's secret lair's door and calls his master.
Okay, I'm getting slightly annoyed with this. We get it. Yatou is HORRIBLY ill though she looks like she could enter the Miss Universe contest if she were a bit taller and Chen Pi is INSANELY concerned and obsessed about her. Can we move on? Like... to Fo Ye?
Yep, Er Ye still has sharks above his head.
I'm glad you're accepting this. 
Not really: I'm just taking deep breaths and pretending this is normal.
Just what is he doing in there?
I think he is actually depressed and needs some medicine himself. 
He comes out to see Chen Pi who tells him the Japanese have this medicine, please just do what they want and save Ya Tou.
Chen Pi, you are really not very smart, are you
 Er Ye points out the obvious:
  1. the Japanese won't give the medicine for anything less than something atrocious,
  2. Their aim is not Ya Tou's health, but to control Er Ye, and 
  3. Chen Pi, you dummy, there's right and there's wrong, and this is wrong.
I'm with Er Ye: nothing justifies treason. Oh, and Ya Tou hears this all from the outside. She sees Chen Pi storm off in a huff.
Hmmm .... I'm thinking about this "nothing justifies treason". My hunch is you are right, but I am thinking that there might be something Fo Ye related that could, potentially, make me think about it?  
If it's Fo Ye related, my guess is that it's not treason.
She goes into Er Ye's study (note: he is much hotter when he's angry), where he promptly puts his cloak around her - I think she goes around without a cloak just so he can do that - and he asks if she minds him not going to the Japanese for help.
That shows us just HOW despicable it is to even think about this. Even Er Ye, who loves his wife more than life itself, would not cross this line. 
She says no, she trusts him. He says he has asked Jiu Ye for help for medicine for her, and I think he means Old Nine Gate No. 9. Me too, me too!! I want to meet him! However, he is enraged that Chen Pi can't tell right from wrong. I'm just shocked these two can't see Chen Pi is crazy.
Er Ye could see it if he wanted to and she could see it if she would take her role as Mistress of that important household more seriously. Okay, I know, I know, she's so gravely ill!! She's excused (like ... NOT, but I get it). But Er Ye really is a problem. He is much too embroiled in his little world of worrying and opera singing to care about anything else. High time Fo Ye comes and shakes him out of it
Meanwhile, Chen Pi is running through green woods in his fury and sends chi at some innocent birds who drop dead. Then, he kinda calms down.
Saki, I'm beginning to think this one might be a slight problem :) 
Meanwhile, Fo Ye...
... quick interruption to say he's HOT...
... and all are waiting for the old man to come back for his axe. They follow him to his house and burst in. It's full of military supplies. Ba Ye asks where the things came from, but when the old man says he just picked them up, Ba Ye points a rifle at him saying, "You take me for a fool?" I dunno, Ba Ye, I still can't take you seriously.
The old man takes them to a house full of dead people, all face down, just like in the coffin train. It seems this house wasn't that far away, so really, they should've smelled the decomposing bodies already and noticed an excess of flies, even in the old man's house. And somehow, despite this being the 20th Century, Ba Ye thinks there was some sort of sacrifice done. Hahahahaaa. Fo Ye tells him it was a murder.
The old man says, "it wasn't me!" and Ba Ye says, duh, you're too weak.
This shouldn't make me laugh, should it. And yet, I'm laughing so hard. The CGI flies were just great. Please note how Fo Ye is too cool and manly to cover his nose (but at least, he is carrying his suitcase himself this time).  
Finally, the old man explains people came to the mine half a year ago and no one knew what they were up to. They paid him to leave the area and he only came back a few days ago to this horrible stench and all these dead people. Fo Ye asks about the train, and all the man knows is that it drove out of the area.
What bullshit.
Out comes Fo Ye's knife, but we don't really get a good look.
A lot of my love for Fo Ye has to do with this little knife, but I haven't managed to analyze these feelings sufficiently yet
The bodies are disgusting, though. Seriously, some burial services here, someone. (Although they look so diseased, maybe cremation would be a safer bet.) Anyway, Fo Ye notes the tattoos, marks, dehydration and spider webs are the same as the bodies on the train. [Sidebar: I wonder why the tattoos?]
They seem to belong to some group?
He also notes that, unlike the bodies on the train, these have no hair. 
Now we're getting somewhere.
Why would the people on the train, who left in a hurry judging from how they dumped the bodies, have taken time to shave the hair of these dead people? Fo Ye thinks the hair is the key to the secret experiments. I think I'm going to get super-grossed out as this investigation goes along ...
Why, you don't like hair? 
Anyway, people: REMEMBER this moment and how smart Fo Ye is. Hair. This is about hair. 
I like hair on living people. But in other circumstances, not so much.
Anyway, Fo Ye smiles at the old man, saying you never reported the Japanese being here. The old man says how's he supposed to tell who is Japanese and Chinese? [Sidebar: seriously, dude?]. Anyway, says Fo Ye, you know where the mine is. Ba Ye fanboys, hahahaha.
Oh dear, he has fully grown on me :D He is so annoying, but he also is quite alright, especially when he fanboys. We should go to a Fo Ye fanmeet with him!!!
Off they go to this rather scary looking mine entrance. Seriously, I wouldn't go in there. Fo Ye doesn't care, though.
Actually, worse: he likes it. 
The old man says the Japanese blew up the entrance before leaving. He tries to deny other entrances, but Fo Ye is now impatient and signals Lt Zhang to get rough. He points out that the old man knows too much like the train leaving and the entrance getting blown up, but the old man says he just saw the explosion and then saw the train leaving. Apparently, he hid in the mountains. Fo Ye asks how was it that the old man was given money and left alone, and is told because the Japanese needed the old man to show them the entrance. Fo Ye has had enough and tells Zhang to pull a gun on the old man. He'll find another entrance fast enough.
Man, the old dude is lying through his teeth. Does he not realize that Fo Ye is getting seriously pissed off? He looks hot when he's pissed off but he's also a bit scary? I suspect he has a horrible temper.
Of course Ba Ye has calculated whatever it is he calculates, and he has determined this place is really dangerous, and that they should not stay long. Yes, well, anyone can see that.
I think Fo Ye is going to rip his head off pretty soon. If Fo Ye wants to enter something, Fo Ye will enter something.  
Giggling like a teenager now.
Fo ye says he's still investigating what the Japanese people were up to because he's the hero. When Ba Ye tries to stop him, he gets exasperated and says, I'll ensure your safety.
Okay, but what is this thing? A chemical weapon?
A submarine? Or a hair tank.
They go another route, and the old man dithers and Ba Ye predicts gloom and doom
and Fo Ye gets annoyed.
Fo Ye: hot. *two thumbs up*
They go into a graveyard that the old man tried and failed not to show them, and look, there's the backdoor entrance. Lt Zhang (yay!) throws the barely-there stone in front aside,
and the old man says, no too dangerous, woooo, and Fo Ye scoffs that he likes danger. Hee.
The more you tell him not to do something, the more he wants it. *takes note*

Ba Ye suggests bringing Er Ye, and Fo Ye says, you try bringing him. Nope, Ba Ye can't do that.
Enough is enough, Ba Ye. Just follow Fo Ye or get lost. Oh, do you think Ba Ye is there to make Fo Ye look extra hot?
Along with calculating things no one pays any attention to, yes, that could a reason for Ba Ye.
Anyway, Fo Ye is deadset on going in, and that's that.
So I assume he really likes caves and cave-like things. 
Sniggering like a teenager now...

In they go, and finally, a suitcase is opened. Out of all the things in there, Lt Zhang chooses a [kakashi, what was it he chose?] [You are seriously asking me that?] [I thought you were handy with tools and things.] He breaks open the wooden boards blocking their way, and all four go further in.
Those nice antique looking suitcases are full of grave robber tools! I'll be damned!!! No room for food, Saki. Grave robber tools. (so one thing he takes out is a hammer, the other is a small crowbar)
Back to the Hong Mansion. Nooooooooo! Wow, I'd forgotten about that place. I wish. Chen Pi is just hanging about arguing with the maid, Tao Hua.
This time, he says the master was perfectly justified in scolding him. I guess he got over his snit or, perhaps, is just covering himself in front of others. Ya Tou comes in.
With noodles?
She says she wanted to air out Er Ye's costumes. Fair enough. And look how happy Chen Pi is. He looks like a nice guy here.
He likes costumes? 
Considering his carefully put-together rags, I bet he does.
Tao Hua goes off to get Ya Tou a coat because once again, Ya Tou left her room without it. Yo, Ya Tou, this is an old-style house fashioned around a courtyard in the 1930s: rich or not, you don't have central heating.  (Although, now I'm thinking they could wind some underground heating around the house.)

Anyway, Chen Pi offers her his jacket, but ends up breaking some beads from the headdress. He is rather sad about that, and Ya Tou notes that in the old days, Chen Pi would've scoffed at such things as opera headdresses.
Ah, no, but these days! These days, Chen Pi secretly sneaks into some secret room of his own and tries on all of Er Ye's costumes. 
But Chen Pi admits he understands now that Er Ye is talented.
How do I care? Wow, this Chen Pi gets a lot of screentime. Does he have fans? 
We'll have to ask our Chinese readers to check on him.
Ya Tou, Tao Hua and Chen Pi all decide to go out of the mansion to buy new beads. At least it isn't noodles.
Just wait, I'm sure there are some street stalls that sell noodles. She won't be able to walk past them. 
Oh, this place is lovely!
Maybe Hu Ge is somewhere as Ming Tai? *looks closely* no.
The maid points out how much Ya Tou shopped for Er Ye's costumes. Chen Pi says he can just bring her every month, but rather melodramatically, Ya Tou says she doesn't know how much longer she can go shopping.
Doesn't look sick at all.
She is sick INSIDE, Saki, inside
Honestly, it's all a bit whiny and irritating. She'd better have cancer in every organ after being so OTT melancholy. Anyway, after Chen Pi protests that he'll come with her for 20 years even to buy Er Ye's costume beads, they all cheer up and decide to get rice cakes. And Chen Pi looks quite young and cute here.
Well, he IS very young.
When he's smiling like this, I really like him.
Watch BTS with him, he's great! And really funny.
But, after they buy the rice puffs and are all laughing at Chen Pi burning his tongue on them, a little kid runs by, hits Ya Tou only somehow, and runs off. Oh noes, the brat has stolen her coin purse. Chen Pi runs after him, and Ya Tou, sick though she supposedly is, runs after Chen Pi. She catches him about to hit the boy who stole her purse, and scolds him for it. So energetic of her! And Tao Hua, who I suspect rather fancies Chen Pi, sticks up for him saying he only was trying to get Ya Tou's purse back.
WTF, Chen Pi. And WTF for everyone going "he has changed so much! His temper has become so much better!" How do you think he was before??
Ya Tou makes sure to tell Chen Pi he lacks Er Ye's warmth and temperament. That doesn't go down well.
She is such an idiot. I really don't like her at all. But I am happy she is not Fo Ye's woman!!!
Fo Ye would've transferred chi and stopped all this melancholy nonsense. 
She checks on the little boy, and asks why he's stealing. Naturally, it's because he's hungry with a sick parent yada yada yada. Naturally, Ya Tou gives him some shortcakes and money in her pretty hankie. Naturally, Chen Pi is furious.
At this point, I'm thinking about Fo Ye entering caves
I'm thinking about Fo Ye's strong chi.
Anyway, the kid is sent off, and Tao Hua says, let's go back, it's windy, and Changsha is not safe. Ya Tou doesn't care because Er Ye is at peace with the world and so it won't affect her. Dear Reader, I also don't know how this make sense. She notes, randomly, that Er Ye and Fo Ye are different. Except, ooh, scary Chen Pi.
Maybe Ya Tou is the true evil in this story and she is behaving like this to drive everyone insane. Works on me! 
Good thing he has that awesome nose, or I'd skip his mad face entirely.
Yikes! They should cast him for the next Middle Earth movie though. He looks like am evil pixie.

Now, Ya Tou is in her rocking chair while Er Ye comes in and puts a coat over her.
I have enough coats but no rocking chairs. Should I change that? 
Okay, this is getting silly. Are both she and her maid totally incapable of covering her with a blanket? Turns out he went shopping too. He bought her an eyebrow pencil. Er, yay, Er Ye? And then he does her makeup for her. Okay, this was cute. And he says he'll stay with her for a thousand years, which, for some reason, brought a brief tear to my dry eye.
Yes, cute, if only I were not so pissed off at these scenes. They bore me to death
Fate, yo.

Cut to Chen Pi stealing Ya Tou's handkerchief back from that kid.
Yeah, we all saw that coming. And we get him smelling it with a slight, but totally sick, shudder.
I was almost expecting him to kill the kid. He's completely unhinged. An unhinged panty-sniffer (if he got his hands on them, that is)
Urgh, creepy.

Back to our Gang (YAAAAAY) and Ba Ye complaining there is water everywhere and that they'll get their shoes all wet. But when the old man complains about the water, Ba Ye gets all tough and says the water hasn't even covered this random tree root that just happens to be there.
Oh, it's wet caves he likes. It's getting better.
Fo Ye notices that there water is increasing in depth and that it is leaking in from somewhere. Ba Ye fanboys.
I'm trying to think about where else water could come from than from leaking from somewhere. Obviously, I don't know enough about cave-lore
Oh, and Lt Zhang looks pretty. How could I forget! Seriously, are those lips real? 💋
He is incredibly good looking. And more of the quiet type. One that runs deep. 
But hahahaha, Ba Ye tries to suggest turning back, and Fo Ye just goes, no.
No, cause enter the wet cave he must.
The old man keeps protesting, and Ba Ye, of all people protests too. What happened to being Fo Ye's fanboy and supporting him? Fo Ye is annoyed too, and threatens to cut out Ba Ye's tongue.
More wet caves! I sense an obsession.
Ba Ye is all, oh you kidder, and they continue. And then, they see a gate with a statue behind it. Yay, I guess.
Uhm, no? Have you LOOKED at that thing?! @____@
Not Yay.

Ba Ye wants to calculate, but Fo Ye points out it's only a statue. Then, Ba Ye realizes this statue is of a deity, Xuan Guan Dao, and that means that there is priceless treasure in this mine. Sure, whatever. Ba Ye knows more than me here.
Are you a fortune teller too?! Oh, I know!! You secretly practiced so that you can kill Ba Ye and take his place next to Fo Ye!! 
That's right, muahahahaha!
Fo Ye, super coolly, says, "I still want to go in."
Yeah, I know that by now. 
We'll find out.


I totally felt Fo Ye's irritation with Ba Ye and the old man. It's like when you want to do something, start some project and your key people, family, friends etc, are all telling you all the negatives. In Fo Ye's case, he's pretty much amazing, so my money is on him versus any demons. Come on Ba Ye, have some faith.
Their function was to tell us how DANGEROUS it is in those mines. But what do they expect? That saying: "Fo Ye, it's mega dangerous!" will have Fo Ye go: "Ah, now that you say that, I realize it's totally dangerous because I didn't know that before, and now, I'm not going in"? Seriously.

Er Ye was there today to annoy Chen Pi and to put cloaks around Ya Tou. He and Ya Tou were pretty sweet together, though.
I admit it. They are very sweet with each other but also SO BORING. If she turned Er Ye into this totally melancholic, passive man, I'm not sure she is good for him.
Her illness did that to him, and the fear that she will die. Whatever her illness is, that is.

Chen Pi was there - why? We need him going full on villain, show. It was interesting that he recognized Er Ye's skills, opera and all. Maybe he feels he is not worthy of Ya Tou, and that keeps him under some control.
Yes, the Chen Pi scenes are too long. We get that he's crazy. We also get that he's violent. We don't fully know what he is capable off, but I think we're good to move on.

As for Ya Tou, I don't believe she's really ill. Maybe she needs more vitamin D. 
She is very badly written and played so monotonously. Wait, that's misspelled, isn't it? So many o-s? She is so dull and so "oh, I'm going to die soon, it's so sad". I really wished she'd do something naughty with or in one of the wet caves.