05 August 2016


Old Nine Gates 老九门 - Episode 7 (Recap)

Posted by SakiVI on August 05, 2016
SakiVI: Lots of Ba Ye being useful, a bromance scene for people who like that sort of thing with Fo Ye and Ba Ye, and two villains, both horrid. But I'll forgive one, Lu Jian Xun, a bit, just because there's less of him dominating scenes than the other villain, Hendry Cox. We also get two prescriptions: one seems fake, although it's given by a man in a white coat via injection, but the other seems oh, so real, despite only telling someone to change their behavior.
kakashi: Oh, I hate the "new colleague" so much! Of course, I hate Hendry Cox even more. I think I'm getting allergies from just seeing his stupid face and from the way he's screwing it up.

Episode 7 - New Colleague, Lu Jian Xun

We open with Er Ye in his wizard's lair writing Fo Ye a confidential letter.
So, now he's ready to talk, huh? (actually, he is writing this anonymously)
He tells Chen Pi to anonymously deliver the letter to Fo Ye.
For Chrissake, man. Are you that stupid?
Okay, I can't help it, I love Chen Pi's nose. Annoying though he is, that nose is worthy of its own show.
You know what, I've gotten completely used to him by now. Yes, it must be the nose!
But, annoying nefarious villain that he is, Chen Pi copies the letter.
Hands up if you're surprised!
(I want to dip that nose in ink.)
((We might have to sharpen it a bit to be able to write with it though!))

So, Chen Pi goes to Ryouko Tanaka and demands to meet the real buyer. She's looking the exact same, suit and all, so I'll just put another pic of Chen Pi's nose here.
I hope he never ever gets plastic surgery. Unless... do you think the nose is real?!
They go this big room
it's a ballroom!
where Chen Pi is ambushed.
That happens in ballrooms!
Ryouko Tanaka even shows some skillz by avoiding swords that Chen Pi throws at her, but, probably because the suit is too tight, she falls and hurts her back. Pfft.
Hahahaaaaa, told you one cannot really fight in a suit like this.
Just wear something else, Ryouko. Anyway, crazy American Hendry Cox shows up.
Seriously, where did they find this guy??!
Hendry says he's the boss there, Chen Pi throws a sword at him
Braaavoo, Chen Pi!
but Hendry doesn't really care because he's crazy. He continues to butter up Chen Pi with lots of flattery all the while with crazy eyes.
Please stop it with these Hendry Cox pictures, Saki. Where is Fo Ye! Where is my Fo Ye! 
Hendry calls Chen Pi's suspicion that they're out to kill him a "misunderstanding" and eventually Chen Pi's ego kicks in. They go to talk in private with Ryouko holding her injured back.
Hahahaaaaa, she makes me laugh. Definitely method-acting.
Hendry promises to treat Ya Tou's illness in exchange for the information in Er Ye's letter. Hendry says he's treated far stranger illnesses than Ya Tou's, and that he knows others who can help too.  He claims to have a miracle drug, internationally-approved and all, that will help Ya Tou. Ha, right.
Chen Pi, use your nose! Don't fall for this!
Chen Pi is interested, but sceptical, so Hendry offeres to cure Ryouko's injury right away. Oh dear.
Oh, needles. Oh.
So, Ryouko gets up and say it doesn't hurt anymore. Hmm, were you faking, Ryouko?
Damn, that sneaky woman!
And Chen Pi is convinced. Great. He clearly is not as smart as he thinks he is. But he still acts suspicious, even though he really wants the medicine.
Such a great nose, but nothing in it.
However, Hendry says, I can cure Ya Tou with you right next to me, and you can kill me if it doesn't work. So slick.
Oh please, let's kill him.
Chen Pi hands over the copied letter. Sigh, what a dummy.
Sadly, not everyone can be as smart as Fo Ye.

Cut to the Buddha Bar, er, I mean Fo Ye's mansion.
Btw, I have been wearing a shirt with a buddha on it for several days. In fond closeness to Fo Ye.
Chen Pi is in Ninja mode,
and manages to leave Er Ye's letter on Fo Ye's desk. Since he covered his best feature, I'm just going to skip ahead to these two reading the letter together the following morning.
Like a married couple! So cute!
Ba Ye likes Er Ye's formal penmanship. I can relate: I would too. Ba Ye and Fo Ye are super-close here, and total best buds. It's kind of sweet. 
I ship them! In a bromancy kind of way. Also, Er Ye: You're busted. 
Anyway, Ba Ye says if they go again to the mines, they won't necessarily have such good fortune, and, yet again, fails to calculate anything.
What good fortune?! Our Fo Ye almost died of hair!
He didn't die, that's the good fortune.
Fo Ye tells him to go to the surrounding area and see what it's like there. OMG, Ba Ye will travel alone!
We might be surprised, Saki. Also, he has tanked some Fo Ye power, on that sofa. That will get him far. 

Lt Zhang comes in to look pretty. 
"Job description of Fo Ye's right hand man: Be named Zhang, look very handsome, but not too intense"
He's giving news of the new intelligence officer, Lu Jian Jang. Fo Ye says he'll go meet this new guy because he is not so simple. That's putting it mildly, Fo Ye, considering the person is an intelligence officer.
I'm always wary of intelligence officers too, Saki.
This is the guy. 
Hate his stupid face.
He comes in acting all friendly, calling Fo Ye Brother Qi Shan, and being all courteous, but he doesn't give a good impression. Probably because he's come in to spy for the higher-ups.
He's shady as fuck. 

Here's Fo Ye looking Hawt.
My darling! Make this other man go away!
Phew, eyes cleansed. 

Then Lt Zhang comes in with documents for Fo Ye. That cuts the visit short. 
*Takes note of very neat trick*
Lt Zhang wants to know why Lu Jian Xun treats Fo Ye like an intimate brother, and Fo Ye says that's just that guy's way of being smarmy. 
He learned how to suck up in intel officer school. One of the first lessons there.
Okay, Fo Ye doesn't put it quite like that, but that's the gist.

When Lu Jian Xun leaves, he plots to spy on Fo Ye and find dirt on him to bring him down. Ghastly person. 
Go away! Eat hair!
His number 2 is handsome, though. 
You can have him.
Meh, I'm okay with Lt Zhang as a goodlooking number No. 2 in my life.  But this guy at least makes the Lu Jian Xan scenese less painful.
Cut to Ba Ye, ON FOOT, in the mountains. 
All alone!
He goes to a high point in the mountains just to carefully view the land.
I'm viewing it too, it's really pretty!
If it wasn't probably really hard to get to, I'd want to visit.
He makes dots on a paper,
and uses a cool compass
I hope he fixed it
and concludes there's a human-shaped cemetery there.
Wow, that's some skillz.
We have discovered a Ba Ye use.
Also, I like his outfit.
He isn't bad looking at all when he isn't annoying
He's quite handsome, actually.

He then goes to the local village to offer fortune-telling.
No one is interested though.
Maybe another fortune teller came by just a few hours ago. THAT would be bad!

In any case, Ba Ye hears people discuss a lunatic living in the mountains. They are worrying whether that lunatic has any food. Well, bring him some then! Duh! Ha, when Ba Ye approaches them, they ask what temple he practices at, and he says Changsha's Dong Yue Palace. Bet that turns out to be Fo Ye's palace!

Ba Ye generously gives the lady there a free amulet for her grandson's fussing at night. He tells her that when he passes by her house later, she can feed him then, after the amulet has worked. The barber notes Ba Ye's a nice guy.
Yes, I guess he is.
When he's not being all bipolar with "I'm scared!" and "let's go!" he seems quite all right. 
Then, Ba Ye asks where he can find the lunatic. They direct Ba Ye to a dilapidated temple outside of the village. I have to say, the actor playing Ba Ye has a really nice, kind sort of face. He suits this role well.
He's the sort you'd buy anything from, yes.

Cut to Chen Li bringing Hendry Cox to treat Ya Tou. No one has said Hendry is a doctor, or was that just skipped over? Anyway, Hendry Cox asks Ya Tou if she is tired all the time, has a loss of appetite, feels weak when she gets up early, sleeps in the afternoon, has nightmares, and doesn't feel energetic after rest, yunno, stuff normal people go through as part of life. Ya Tou is amazed and says yes.  
You know, Chairman of the Chamber of Commerce, Doctor ... same-same.
But look at how Hendry Cox is baring his teeth, Ya Tou! 
Make him to awayyyy!
He diagnoses her as having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome caused by excessive exhaustion and anxiety. 
Is that a real thing? 
Sidebar: Post-viral fatigue is a real thing.  I am not convinced about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, though, since from personal experience and research, I have been diagnosed, and then found my own effective treatments.  And from what I've read and experienced, "chronic fatigue" develops without adequate nutrition and/or rest after a strong illness or trauma.  In other words, it doesn't have to be chronic at all.
Okay, but why would the pampered wife of a top star and Changsha aristocrat have excessive exhaustion and anxiety? As for CFS, that can be treated with acupuncture, Chinese herbs and magnesium supplements. In fact, Hendry Cox says it's what the Chinese call body weakness. Oh, come on, Ya Tou!
No, you can't seriously expect anything from her at this point.
Anyway, Chen Pi's nose looks good.
And naturally, Hendry Cox has that miracle drug.
Ya Tou, to her credit, does question being in pain a lot if its body weakness. Okay, Ya Tou, I'll give you an inch. But I don't believe you're in that much pain. I mean, you cook and stitch and garden. Hendry Cox says her condition is extreme, so she needs the drug. And, by the way, she needs to shoot it up. 😒
Oh, hell. I think they all have hair in their head! 
Ya Tou's mysterious pain disappears, and Hendry Cox give Chen Pi two months supply. She will need to shoot up often, it seems.
Are you suspecting what I am suspecting?
Morphine?  Yes.

As he leave, Hendry Cox bares his teeth while Chen Pi looks rather sweet.
He then goes back to Ya Tou where they have a heart to heart and she says that it was her who didn't want Chen Pi to leave the house and become independent. Chen Pi says he never wants to leave her and Er Ye.
Oh wow, so this is really all her fault, this mess with Mr. Nose.

Cut to Ba Ye observing the lunatic at the dilapidated temple ripping out his hair.
Oh. Hair. Beware of the hair!
The lunatic is afraid of something eating him. Ba Ye seems to have a solution, though. Ba Ye tells the lunatic not to be afraid. Ba Ye then drops that canister which has smoke, and pretends to be a deity.
Ba Ye asks the lunatic what he's scared of, and the lunatic says, "Hair! It wants to eat me!" Ba Ye instructs the lunatic to tell everything if he wants help. The lunatic says that ten months ago he went into a mountain cave and that It wanted to eat him and that was all. That's all Ba Ye's getting, so he sets about curing the lunatic of lunacy. 
So the hair wants to eat people? But not my Fo Ye! >.<
Ba Ye pulls out a razor, which freaks the other guy out more, and Ba Ye sternly tells him to sit with his eyes closed until told otherwise.
Ba Ye then giggles, which is rather cute.
Ba Ye then shaves the fellows head, which he really needed with all those sores. 
Hahahaha, the Hair Devil has been eliminated!
You must admit now that Ba Ye isn't entirely useless, Saki! He knows how to treat lunatics! 
Yep, he's pretty smart and insightful.
And then Ba Ye tells the fellow to see Barber Li in the village to the west every five days for a total of 49 times to be fully cured. Aw, cute and funny!
One more loose end, then: Ba Ye tells the barber to shave the lunatic's head as prescribed. Ba Ye is so nice, he pays for it. He even promises to give more money if need be, but the barber doesn't ask for it. He also diagnoses the lunatic as having a demon of the heart, 
Respect! *brofist*
so nothing for anyone to worry about as long as the head is kept shaved. Then, he checks if any strangers have come by. The barber tells Ba Ye that some Japanese were recently around the area. That's not good, as Ba Ye's expression shows.
It's one hairy affair, this is.
Cut to this Lu Jian Xun, who gets referred to as Chief Liu by others, so I will use the same. He's drawing something on paper that I'd like to have. The paper, not the drawing. The paper looks interesting. Nice fountain pen too. Odd, though, because he seems a ballpoint sort of guy.
You just say that because you don't like him and you really like fountain pens. He is writing the number 9 by the way.
Perhaps.  But he should stick to ballpoints like the hack he is.
The handsome number 2 gets in the car to tell him all burial ornaments must go through the Nine Gates, and that those families have great power.
He adds that Fo Ye has great power in Changsha as the first of the Nine Gates. Chief Lu looks jealous.
Yes, be jealous, you idiot!
Our villain thinks the other eight Gates are just reluctantly obeying Fo Ye because they are afraid of his military status. No, Chief Lu, they obey because it's Fo Ye. Anyway, Chief Lu promises to destroy all Nine Gates. Good luck with that, buddy. You might as well take down the Justice League of America.
I'm SO looking forward to seeing him try.

Cut to the USA Chamber of Commerce. Ryouko Tanaka asks Hendry Cox if they should interfere in Chief Lu 's plans to replace Fo Ye. Hendry says no, they'll just observe for now. He thinks Chief Lu may be useful. For what, though?
I'm deleting this picture of the Cox-idiot here. No more. So ugly.

Cut to Jiu Ye's tea house. Chief Lu tries to bribe him with an expensive chess set. Chief Lu tells him that he and other Nine Gates should help the country because they're on the verge of war. He hints at overthrowing Fo Ye.
Hahaaa, never. Eat hair!


First of all, I'd like to apologize for all the Hendry Cox shots. Couldn't be helped since he was in so many scenes. ((pssst, don't tell Saki, I removed as many as I could!)) Second, why hasn't anyone checked Cox's medical credentials? He's wearing the doctor's coat, but is also the head of the USA chamber of commerce there and employer of samurai? I would've thought a background check and some major suspicion would have been in order. 
I tell you, they have hair in their brains already!

This Chief Lu seems incompetent, like a male 1930s Minjung. I don't think he'll achieve anything accept his own humiliation. Hendry Cox, on the other hand, seems capable and is more dangerous. Besides, Hendry appears psychopathic. He's not scared of anything, which makes him dangerous. 
I'm always fond of a great villain, but I also don't want Fo Ye in too much trouble, so I'm happy if at least one of them is incompetent.

Ba Ye showed what the point was in having him around. I also liked how he took care of the lunatic's mental illness. It's clever how the Nine Gates just use the most practical and direct methods to fix problems. 

Other than that, NOT ENOUGH FO YE! 

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