Old Nine Gates 老九门 - Episode 27 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which we see way too much of Chief Lu, Ba Ye goes beserk on someone, and some backstory to Huo Niang and Er Ye.
kakashi: We're nearing this drama's absolute low-point. Chief Lu the Fucker Slime Ass is the harbinger of drama low. I want to do the most horrible things to him, and I'm such a mild-mannered person, usually. Yes, Fo Ye, exactly. This is the expression I have on my face too when I see Lu.

Episode 27 - Er Ye Is Framed

We begin with Chief Lu bursting into Er Ye's study with his men. They note nothing of value is in the place, and one of the soldiers volunteers that it is because Er Ye sold everything of value to save Ya Tou. Then, Lu notices the secret room entrance, which suggests that room was never very secret.
Well. maybe Ba Ye is at fault here. But they also conveniently forgot how difficult it was for Er Ye to get there the first time, remember? Those stakes he had to jump on etc.?
I forgot about those! If anyone can manage those stakes, then they are not an effective barrier.
Chief Lu goes into the room stroking his gun, and looking all evil-like.   
You shouldn't have said "stroking his gun". Very unpleasant things came to my mind.       
Still not scary, just annoying, Lu. Major villain fail there. Oh, funny moment: Chief Lu steps on a pair of amputated hand-like paws. This makes him gag.
I cheer. Anything that makes Lu uncomfortable is my best friend. I also like that we are seeing his shoe her. His shoe is probably the best part about him.  
And for those concerned, which I hope is all of us, the shark is still there, yay!
I wonder who feeds him. Poor shark. Oh, you know what: he could eat Lu. But he would probably not want to, because Lu is most certainly disgusting.
Chief Lu snoops through various items on the desk, including a taxidermied bat,            
and it's so funny because he totally doesn't have the stomach for this work because no Skillz,
should just have stayed wherever he came from in the first place, the idiot. 
and then he finds a burnt leftover bit of the Hatoyama Report.
Well, shit. Ba Ye! You messed up! (why though? Are there several copies of the Hatoyama Report? Can one get it from the local library?)
Oh, noes. This does not bode well at all.

Cut to this tea house.
Fo Ye and Ba Ye are meeting here to discuss the guys tailing Fo Ye.
Lu Fucker's men? Probably. Kill them!
They loudly note that that they can do one of two things, either remove all evidence of the mine so that Chief Lu is forced to release Er Ye, or, and here Fo Ye kicks the tail's chair out from underneath him.
I imagine the chair is Lu and I feel very good.
And Ba Ye kicks him half to death, or, at any rate, to the extent Ba Ye, flailing arms and all, can kick anyone to anywhere.
Wow, Ba Ye. That's some serious anger management issues there. I approve!
Apparently, there's a third plan because Ba Ye leaves to prepare for it. And Fo Ye is highly amused at his kicking skillz.
Okay, I admit, I was a bit amused too. And surprised! But pleasantly so.
Next, Fo Ye visits the Pine Tree House to give a modified version of the recent events and his whereabouts. Fo Ye tells Chief Lu his health was bad (lie), so he went to Bei Ping for medicine (half-true), but did not get any better (lie) and so rested at a place near the mine (1/3 true). He then tells Chief Lu to look into all this for himself.
Well, it means Lu Fucker needs to leave Changsha for a while, which is a good thing for the people in Changsha. Not for us though because it means Lu screentime.
Nice burn, Fo Ye. Let's see Chief Lu looking foiled now.
I will draw pleasure from that, yes. 
Nope, no obvious loopholes in that story. But Chief Lu says having no loopholes is the loophole, and walks in with his handsome aide to the village where Fo Ye says he stayed.
You are one gaping loophole, you Lu Idiot. And look, I'm avoiding Lu pictures.
I'm impressed!
All the villagers recognize Fo Ye's picture and say what a wonderful man he is. And Ba Ye, around a corner listening to all this, just smiles.
Ha! That was easy.

Sidebar: Ba Ye looks really good in that hat.
Big Picture for you, Ba Ye
His smile is cute.
Then, Chief Lu goes to harass the manager of the bank where Fo Ye and Er Ye pawned their possessions for the medicine money. It is all very repetitive, and the short version is, Chief Lu threatens the man at gun point to say why the things were pawned and that Fo Ye did the pawning hand-in-hand with the Japanese.
I want to kill Lu so bad, I'm basically foaming at the mouth
What the heck is that number that the manager signed? Kakashi, do you know?
I do not know, but I am sure that one of our Chinese readers will.

Cut to Huo Niang visiting Er Ye.
Isn't that the staircase Fo Ye fought in when he rescued Ba Ye? I remember it fondly.  
The show is just re-using the set. Ba ye was rescued from his own house where he was held captive.
He calls her by her real name, Jin Xi (Awwwwwwww), and it seems he is the first person to call her that since she became the Huo Madame (Awwwwwwww). She asks him what the Hatoyama report is, and I think, what they were up to in the mines, but it's hard to say because the piano BGM was loud and overly dramatic (not so awwwwwwww). Anyway, she offers to leave everything, and thus the plot against Fo Ye too, for him, but his heart is still with Ya Tou. Seriously, Er Ye, have you never heard of an alliance? End result, Huo Niang is sad, and Er Ye is still in jail.
Well, in Er Ye's defense, it's still not that long since the love of his life died. But yeah, he could have used his brains for a change. Though I do fear that noodles have completely destroyed it.  
Er Ye is not using his noodle.
Back to Chief Lu and the aide ploting. They've got evidence against Fo Ye, but they need more against Er Ye for some reason, so they want to say Er Ye was colluding with the Japanese. This is your fault, Chen Pi.
They then get fake statements against Er Ye which he refuses to sign.
But they beat him up and take his thumb print.
Noooo, Er Ye TT___________________TT
Honestly, they could've just held him down for that.
Sidebar: why can't a tomb raider with Skillz get out of prison?
Cause the drama says so.
Cut to the Zhang Palace.
Yay, Fo Ye!
This Chief Lu (damn, not Fo Ye) is really annoying. He's like an annoying dude who is always around and grinning crazily because he wants attention.
If at least he were interesting. But he is not.
Inside, Lt Zhang looks really pretty,
and kind of casual! That is hotness elevation!
Yaaaassss, slay!
and Fo Ye looks hot.
I am glad we keep repeating this even though it's so obvious. It just makes this so much more fun. 
Fo Ye's hotness, Xin Yue's cuteness, and Lt Zhang's prettiness are much of why I tolerate lengthy periods of Chief Lu, Chen Pi, and Hendry. Although, Hendry is kind of interesting, and genuinely scary.
They meet Chief Lu. 
He goes through the same threats, send Er Ye to his death, guilty of treason, in an attempt to get the same result, what did you find in the tomb, Fo Ye, and Fo Ye is cornered, so he says he went into the tomb to see what secret experiments the Japanese were doing.  I'll just leave pics of Fo Ye and Lt Zhang.
Okay, do I want to go back and think about how Lu got to this result and how he could really have done it better and differently? Maybe not. I guess Er Ye's forced confession is what changes everything, cause now he can really sentence Er Ye to death and Fo Ye will of course to everything to prevent this from happening. Friends and all. Despite the noodle brain. 
Fo Ye has to remove the decorations symbolizing his rank. Ghastly Lu takes one of them off for him. I could have shot him myself.
Multiple times. But remember before you cry! Fo Ye is still the Head of the Nine Gates. Who cares about military rank. Oh well, Fo Ye probably does, but he'll be back. Said in a Terminator kind of voice. 
At Lt Zhang still looks pretty. But this is small consolation in this situation.
No, I'm feeling very much consolated.
Good word. :-)

Cut to some place or another where Chief Lu is listening to MandoPop, er, I mean, Chinese opera. Hendry is looking for chief Lu, and Chief Lu stupidly brushes off the only scary villain as pointless. He says he can enter the tomb himself. 
Oh, yes, please! Go by yourself! Go, go, go!!!
The aide suggests maybe Hendry can make Er Ye talk - he's still in custody - and Chief Lu says that if he can't make Er Ye talk, Hendry can't either. Also, Chief Lu doesn't want to share anything in the tomb with Hendry, a mere foreigner. 
Methinks you're in too deep with this foreigner already, Lu. You're basically sniffing each other's butts all the time.
Cut to the Japanese Chamber of Commerce where Ryouko is furious at Chief Lu for brushing off Hendry when it was Hendry who planned Lu's takeover.
Saki - who had issues with the pictures because of the stupid Blogger app - told me to include a picture of Ryouko because she's attractive: I agree! Smirk-lady. 
I cheer this smirk.
She thinks they'll have to await their doom, and Hendry trots out another one of his endless Chinese sayings, "But not me." Ryouko is all excited, and Hendry then predicts Lu will not last long. I'll go with what Hendry said. They then discuss Chen Pi. Hendry thinks Chen Pi is hiding and waiting to see what will happen. And that the only person who needs be worried about Chen Pi is Fo Ye. Ryouko asks what they should do now, and Hendry pulls out and English saying, "Hold your horses." Pfffft. Ryouko looks impatient, though.
I'm interested in that map he has, look! 
Oh,wow, you're right, I didn't notice it before.
Cut to the prison where Ryouko, in comfy, black ninja clothes, knocks out two guards with metal balls, and goes in to see Er Ye. She uses another English saying, "long time, no see." Er Ye asks if Chief Lu has caused Hendry any trouble. Ryouko is amazed at Er Ye guessing what has happened, and Er Ye, that Great Guesser (Skillz!), says, and Hendry doesn't know you are here? Ryouko's grim expression gives her away there. Er Ye says her actions are really stupid.
Poor Er Ye, look at the state of him :((
Ryouko says she will rescue Er Ye if he tells her the situation in the tombs. Er Ye points out that it was too easy for her to enter his prison cell, and that she should rescue herself first. And Chen Pi captures her. Chen Pi says he captured her because Er Ye is so awesome. Er Ye closes his own prison door. Frankly, I'm laughing because this is all ridiculous.
I am particularly amused about the fact that these people want to know about the tombs so desperately, and still NOTHING. 
And Er Ye looked a little proud there, of his protegy, when he closed his own prison door. (maybe they're feeding him noodles here)
I suppose he thought Chen Pi at least wasn't all bad? Except, he is.
Cut to Hendry answering his phone. He is furious. Off he goes to De Xing Teahouse which is where Chief Lu likes to spend his free time listening to the 1930s version of Mandopop. Ryouko is there with a gun pointed at her back. Lu smarms at Hendry. He tells Hendry, the opera is singing a song called, wait for it, Absolving One's Military Position With Wine. No, really, it is called that. I couldn't believe it either, but if Chief Lu says it... oh, wait.
Do you think that was *gasp*! an attempt at humor?! Ah, no. It's actually what it's called.
A song title like that makes me cry.

Anyway, Lu then quotes yet another Chinese saying which makes me want to scream because just speak normally, all of you! "When all hares are killed, dogs are stewed and eaten; when all birds are killed, cast aside the bow." Whatever. Hendry gives another saying to explain it, "burning your bridges after crossing." The writer was clearly stretching out this episode to give the actors plenty of lines. Then, finally, Lu threatens Hendry's life. Oh, that took forever!
I imagine a glorious, Tarantino-style massacre during which they both dismember and behead each other. 
They are not that exciting.

The episode ends with Lu pouring Ryouko a cup of tea, saying he will consider her as having forgiven him if she drinks. And she says his tea is too bitter. It's too bitter for all of us too, Ryouko.
The episode ends with me cheering because the episode has ended


I am so tired of Chief Lu! This seems to have been his episode, and gaaah! But Fo Ye held up well under all that pressure and feeling sick, and Lt Zhang was pretty, and Ba Ye was clever and even a bit handsome in one scene. I suppose it wasn't a total loss, then. 
Nice and short, Saki, I approve!! Having many Lu-scenes to leave out or summarize makes recapping this so much quicker. 
And you know what, I'm actually laughing at this mention of the "higher-ups" all the time. Who are these "higher-ups"?! They sound like a mystical creature somewhere far, far away. 
Sadly, the upcoming episodes are the ones I hated the most because Fo Ye is..... well, we won't spoil. At least, we have Lt. "Visual" Zhang to keep us company. I don't find him hot though. Just very, very cute. Only Fo Ye is hot. And with the temperatures dropping, now that October is here, I do need some hotness.