Old Nine Gates 老九门 - Episode 45 (Recap)

kakashi: In this episode, a dog is stolen and then returned - it's basically all that happens. I really don't understand why they didn't call it "The Stealing of a Dog (while Ba Ye and Fo Ye are hilarious)".
SakiVI: it was funny, but why steal a dog you're going to cure anyway? You just have to ask the owner and explain things.
To fill an episode, Saki

Episode 45 - The Conspiracy by the Japanese

It is night and our boys are still standing on the hill, looking hot. Then, all the lanterns go out (but the candles remain burning). Fo Ye thinks "it's time" and they should go down. He's probably right. Suddenly, a horde of people come running out of nowhere and hungrily gulp down the food offerings. They have ugly boils on their faces! And there is Mo Ce, hiding among them. She sees Fo Ye standing there and starts running away, panicked. The rest of the people with her.
Strange to run away when you could get help.
Fo Ye and Lt. Zhang chases them through the forest. Suddenly, Fo Ye realizes Mo Ce is hiding behind a tree and does this ultra-cool thing with his hand. William, you make recapping this worthwhile. 谢谢.
Daebak. And Jjang.
She whimpers that they're not allowed to touch her, because she has a contagious disease (I note that all the other ones had the boils on their faces, but she only has them on her hand - skillz! maybe the face comes later.). But then she recognizes them ... and is immediately worried Er Ye might have come and seen her in this state. Pfft.
If he had, he might have liked her more. 
It seems the villagers passed the disease onto her deliberately, to prevent her from leaving and telling the tale (scumbags exactly) - and that there is some Hei Qiao witchdoctor sprouting nonsense about deities. Oh wait! Is it that same witch doctor we heard about before? Anyway, Fo Ye is sure they're conspiring with the Japanese and certain that Ba Ye can help Mo Ce cure the disease. Ba Ye for the win!!!
Why would Ba Ye know how to cure the disease?  
To get back home, they need to walk through the village again - where they are surrounded by the crazed villagers! They do not want to let them leave. Don't they want any help for their disease? So irrational. And as they attack, we get everybody's favorite voice over explaining that the Hei Qiao actually didn't really want to help the Japanese, but that the Japanese forced them. Anyway, the villagers are idiots, because Fo Yet et al. manage to get their motorbikes (off screen) and ride off. Can Mo Ce stop touching Lt. Zhang?! I don't want his pretty face to be full of boils!!
She can go be a martyr with everyone else. Also, I think Zhang Family blood is really strong, so it should fight off diseases.
Oh, here's Fake Yatou again. She's sewing. With better luck than the other one. Two men come in - Chen Pi sent them (because of the evil Japanese)! But not to take her to him, to bring her as far away as possible. At first, she resists, but when she realizes he has made a promise to someone (= noodly Yatou) and he really means to keep it, she says she'll go, and to pass on that she'll always wait for him. Fine, fine, but can we get on to more important things?
It's not like this helps us in any way, unless the actor's fans want him to look good at least once.
Important things like Eastroc PPL! Chen Pi never even gets to hear that she'll wait for him until he's ready to go to her. But he fondly stares at a garment she made for him. Before he throws it into the fire. Hahaaaa, Chen Poo. But he wishes for her to be well, so that he himself can suffer a bit less in hell. WHATEVER.
He's not going to suffer less. And now I want to try Eastroc.
The others are back in Changsha. Oh gross, those boils on Mo Ce are horrible! No close-ups here! Ba Ye knows what's up, yay. And no explanation why the shaman knows this. The poisonous Hei Qiao parasite grows from within the body (to do what?). But why did the Hei Qiao infect that particular village (which is far from their own territory)? I might have wondered about this myself if this were not episode 45 of a much too long drama.
Are we getting answers?
They come to the conclusion that the evil Japanese are behind it lalalaaa, we have heard this so many times already. Then, Ba Ya wants Old Wu's dog ... what for?! They bicker (they're so cuuuute) who gets to hold Wu and who will steal the dog - of course, it's Fo Ye who gets the upper hand (meaning Ba Ye has to do the stealing, while he will create a diversion).
Apparently the animal actor agency needed more scenes. They could've just thrown us random scenes of Fo Ye on a horse, though.
While Xin Yue and Er Ye watch over Mo Ce, the two go and steal a dog (it's a cutie (it helped the episode along)). WTF, drama. Among other things, it involves Ba Ya pretending to have an upset stomach, making farting noises in an ill-smelling outhouse, and being almost caught with the dog several times. It would actually have been quite funny, were this not episode 45 of a much too long drama.
This all totally wasn't necessary, but if they're going to have it, at least there was a dog.
Aw, look at the cuddle!
Here is Fo Ye, have you missed him?
Sob, yes. I'm happy for the extra Fo Ye, though I could always have rewatched old episodes.
Ba Ye ensures everyone he won't hurt the dog - I'm glad. Yay! Actually, it's the opposite, they will save him! Double yay! The dog has gallstones. And these dog gallstones (in hot water) can be used to cure Mo Ce. Okay then! Mo Ce suffers quite horribly, the boys wait outside, Er Ye worries. It's a bit like noodles, yes ... something is boiling in hot water.
They could've told Old Dog Wu this since it's win-win for everyone.
Guess who's staying with Mo Ce after the ordeal?
Er Ye.
Not surprised. He needs someone to pity.
And guess who has to return the dog?
Ba Ye. But I'm sure you guessed this?
Definitely guessed this one. 

The most amazing thing in this episode is actually how quiet that doggie is! Did they drug it?! And of course, Ba Ye runs into Wu Ye when he (clumsily) returns the dog. Hardiharhar. Pffft. Wu ain't stupid, he knows exactly that Ba Ye stole his dog (these two quarrel a lot, that is obvious (they are very alike which, come to think of it, makes no difference to people quarreling or not)) - and after much back and forth, he makes him apologize to it. But when he hears that the little thing was operated on, he grabs it hastily and carries it into the house, all other things forgotten. Aww, I really would have loved to see more of Wu.
Originally, I thought he would be in this series a lot. But he wasn't. And bwahahahahaha at "Your dog is my dog."
Lt Zhang has found out who the first person to be infected with the parasite virus was (you smart boy, you! Let me hug you! Me first!  ::Elbowing kakashi aside::). He returned from a lake not far from Hei Qiao village. And then, Ba Ye comes in to announce he has found the location of the third meteorite. See Fo Ye's "huh?" face? This is my face too.
I would really like to drop this all about the meteorite. 
Well, he doesn't really know where it is, but apparently, Doctor Mo got some book from the village (did I fall asleep when they showed this? Perhaps I did do.) and its written in ancient village language and that means the third meteorite is at Hei Qiao village. Fo Ye said it, so it must be true. 'Tis the rule. And all of this is connected to the military train 076. Yes, Fo Ye said it! All righty, then! 


Hahahaaaaa, seriously. This episode was hilarious in its complete fillery pointlessness. I love Old Wu. I want more Old Wu. Does he please get a spin-off?
I bet others asked for it on Weibo. 

I'm also laughing at how the drama now tries to wrap up things, since we're nearing the end. It's obviously all related to the Japanese and that train. All. Of. It. 
Like they couldn't have wrapped that up earlier. And, actually, that train was wrapped up. It came from the mines and everyone was dead from the hair. Or something.