The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 2 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which I get rather angry at our selfish Educated Youths and their Quest for Sugar at the expense of a little animal getting tortured to death. 
Trotwood: Where I wished I had paid more attention to the fart jokes in middle school, so I'd remember one here.
kakashi: And here I am waiting for Trotwood to start raging about snow equipment, what to do when there's a fire, etc.
JoAnne: She is suspiciously relaxed about their weather preparation, what's going on?
Episode 2

So, the weasel was caught. Annoying. Everyone’s excited for their work points and candies. Yay. But the weasel isn’t moving, which, horrible people these are, they’re upset because you have to skin the weasel alive to get shiny fur.  
Is that true? I was thinking that they wouldn't be able to skin it right away, so the fur would lose it's luster if they waited to skin it after it had been dead for awhile. I can't imagine they'd have the ability to skin anything. 
Yanzi can skin things, I'm sure, but the Educated Youths? Nope
It's about as true as WEASEL FAIRIES.
So they pull it out only for the weasel to fart at them, ha! Serves ‘em right. The weasel runs off, and Fatty faints.
I got the feeling that he fainted because the weasel fart was poisonous not just because it was smelly.
It's a weasel fairy, I'm sure of it! 
I give up. Anything that farts in color has to be magical.
Yanzi spits water over Fatty’s face and he wakes up to spout revolutionary poetry. Yanzi then slaps him. Okay, this was kind of funny. I agree. But really, they are so desperate for candy they’d kill a small furry-wurry mammal that’s done nothing but eat the chickens the humans failed to protect.  
I thought they were doing it for candy and for points from the government.
To be honest, weasels are a pest. I don't have tender feelings for this one at all.
I'm with you, Kakashi. Weasels are vermin that kill poultry. Although this one does have more personality than expected.
That doesn't mean weasels must be flayed.
Sigh. So the kids bicker and decide to dig up the weasel grave to get the weasel. Okay, if you must. 81 tells them all that the weasel grave doesn’t just look like a grave, it is a grave!(?) He recites Feng Shui spells, opens his compass (please have a picture of this because it is absolutely beautiful and like no other compass I have ever seen--makes me wonder if there is an equivalent place to Hogwarts in 81's China), shines a torch and completes the hocus pocus he’s probably not supposed to do in Cultural Revolution China. Anyway, he finds where they should dig, and he and Fatty go at it while Yanzi holds up the torch. Wow, 81 looks even dirtier than normal for him. (Thank goodness. they were unnaturally clean in Candle in the Tomb). He rechecks the compass and looks at an amazing super moon and keeps digging while the other two sleep.  
The compass was cooooool
I can't stop laughing. Saki is pissy even for Saki, there's just so much for her to dislike here.
And yet I keep watching this show...
Fatty wakes up, all fed up, and says let’s go home. 81 keeps reciting feng shui spells. Then he runs at the grave and jumps through the dirt into it!
Well, he was about to give up, put his scarf on, and started walking away. He's dumbfounded that his compass didn't work. He starts going back through the sayings and stops when he recites "Soul of the living, ghost of the dead; they all live interdependently" as if something just occurred to him.  That is when he runs back and jumps right into the hole that he was digging which allows him to go all the way through.
Yes, our Hu Bayi knows his necro-, sorry, geomancy. Actually, he has no clue, but it still works.
You know, it seems like he could have poked a stick through that and maybe felt around a little first, to be safe. What if Lurch were on the other side?
Oh, I remember something. Ethan Ruan was quite sweaty in this scene. I bet Saki didn't like it but I sure did.
Wow, this is just like in Jin Dong Candle! the others follow, and yay, there’s spooky hallways!
I thought it was funny how they panic and start yelling into the hole, but then he pops his head up and says it's not that deep.
This episode was more funny than scary, yes indeed
Later on there's some scary things, but they appear in a funny scene.
It’s a grave tunnel! Off they go, heigh ho, heigh ho! Omo, the weasel taunts them! They run after it and fall over. 
Actually, they fall down because they weasel leads them to an unsafe area which caves in!!! That weasel *shakes head*
When they get up, they see they are in a tomb complete with coffin. They keep following the compass and then they pull out candle because a candle must be lit at the southeast corner of the grave. If the candle goes out, then they must leave immediately because ghosts blow it out to tell them to leave. Or wind. If there’s air, there could be wind, right? But we will go with ghosts. Yanzi prays to ancestors, but 81 stops her since, er, maybe that coffin doesn’t house a human?  
I'm not sure why she can't still pray to the ancestors. They'd hear her wherever she prays, correct?
Maybe weasel fairies don't like it when you pray to the ancestors
Are we assuming that weasel fairies understand Chinese?
Outside, we see Huamei watching the hole. She’s awfully mysterious. 
Before JoAnne's comments were erased on episode 1, she said this woman isn't pretty. I find her pretty
I paid close attention to her this time. Clean up her eyebrows and she'd be very attractive. 
Back inside the tomb, they see carvings of humans with weasel heads. Oh heck, the sculpture’s eye was closed, and now it’s open! Which no one sees but 81. I didn't see it either, you? What sculpture? Anyway, all the carvings seem to be about a weasel fairy - or someone very ugly - who was also rather rich. I TOLD YOU IT'S A FAIRY! Maybe it's just Huamei with her incredibly bushy eyebrows. Yanzi warns them not to touch anything because that would be bad manners. The boys, however, hope to find treasures to give to the Party and thus get accolades. Or something like that. 
Not even anything that good. Fruit drops. Aim higher, boys. 
Oops, the candle flickers. And it goes out! Time to run, kids. Hey, they actually try! I thought they’d be all insouciant and stick around. And then they stop and go to the coffin. Seriously, some people are just plain dumb.
I thought they stopped because they were hearing noises from the coffin. True, this would make me want to leave more quickly, but they don't randomly stop.
Hahahaaa, yes. There was scratching and snigging in there. STILL. If there is a ghost in there who does not want them, why would they want to look inside a coffin even IF it's scratching and snigging in there?! 
Why? So that the story doesn't end on episode 2.
They open it, aaaaannnddd, nothing. Yanzi touches Bayi’s shoulder, and he jumps! Oh! Something in the coffin moved! It’s the weasel! But I wonder why it’s hanging around these dweebs? Anyway, weasel starts scratching in the corner of the coffin and set off white phosphorous!
I initially thought it was trying to work up a different kind of gas, but instead it was working on a ball of fire. pretty skilled this weasel. It throws that ball of gas right at their heads and it falls to what looks like pre-set up flammable lines all around the cave.
A pyromaniac weasel: Respect.
*nods* A Weasel Firey.
And now there’s a ring of fire around the kids. That’s what you get for hunting little animals and trying to skin them alive so that the fur will be shiny, you horrible selfish turds. 
Can we all agree that this is not a regular, ordinary animal? Not that it deserves to be killed because it's different, but still. One normal weasel cannot deplete the village chickens in one night, fart poison gas, or rub its paws together to create phosphorus fireballs.
Fairy, fairy, FAIRY! 
You could have stopped at deplete the village chickens in one night, Trot.
They jump to the sides of the tomb, and the weasel looks at them, and they look at the weasel who runs out side hole in the wall. The boys try pushing Yanzi out that hole, but that doesn’t work. Ah, so it seems white phosphorous will not just burn up all the oxygen, it will also produce extra smoke that will poison people. Fatty is mad at the weasel for trying to kill them. Hey, you kids started this fight.  
Why don't you just sit around and wait to be killed. Duh! 
So our little gang is all cuddled up, thinking they’ll die.  
I was pretty mad about this.  
Again with the quitting while you're dying business. (okay, I clearly am not over this from the last show) What do you have to lose? Why isn't anyone looking at the magic compass or looking at the book 81 has or feeling around the walls to see if there are any openings. Better yet, why isn't anyone banging on the rocks around the openings to see if anything sounds hollow or different. There has to be another exit besides the one they fell through in order for the original people/weasel fairies to build this tomb I would think. Pft. Quitters deserve death by fart poison.
So you don't want them to just accept death, you want to kill them yourself?
Fatty confesses he asked out a girl behind Hu Bayi’s back. But since he didn’t get anywhere, 81 says it doesn’t count. But Bayi then says he gave away Fatty’s precious Finnish dagger. In the ensuing fight, Bayi drops his geomancy book, and Yanzi sees a picture that looks like the tomb. (duh) They realize there’s an opening, and run to it! Everyone, the opening only looks like a wall.  
But of course it's not solid because there is a tunnel behind it to get out. Like I said above. There is a reason for books, people. People who read them live. 
BRAVO, Trot, so well said
I really expected Bayi to say he also asked out that girl, and got somewhere when Fatty didn't. *waits expectantly for Saki's insult about Bayi's cleanliness/attractiveness*
I decided not to insult too often because that would take away the impact.
BTW, why do they keep their thick coats and hats on when there's a fire? 
Once the boys knock it down, there’s an escape tunnel! They see the weasel who looks a bit annoyed at seeing them escape, and Fatty rushes back to catch the weasel because he feels pissy at it--rolling my eyes at the same old Fatty. They smoke out all the weasel holes, and catch the weasel but not before they spend far too much time playing wack-a-mole. I’m annoyed now. More than annoyed, I'm downright angry. They want to skin that creature alive for fruit candies! Seriously, shove off and die in white phosphorous fire you jerks. 
I'm annoyed because if they knew how to do this before, why didn't they do this when they were outside? Such a waste of time. Oh yeah. If they had, we wouldn't be able to be in a tomb to put a candle in it.
And I was annoyed about HOW STUPID these people are. A few minutes ago they were talking about dying because of lack of oxy and too much smoke, and now they're going weasel-a-hunting? Does that make sense?
Hello, sense left the room at weasel fairy.
Next we see these brats burst through the snow back into the outside world. Fatty and Bayi squabble, yawn, and they head off to the forest ranger’s farms. Behind them, mysterious Huamei looks mysteriously at the weasel grave hole, woooooooo.  
Still. Does she have nothing better to do? Does she even know they got out since she's at the entrance and not where they exited? Isn't she worried about getting her gun back? Those things are expensive to get in the wilderness.
Yeah, I'm not feeling her. Would she have let them die down there? 
I'm calling it right now. She's not fully human.
Oh. Are you suggesting she might have a tail? 
I believe I am.
As the turds tramp off through the snow, Bayi says the tomb was already robbed. Yanzi says there was once a gang of bandits all in black with red scarfs and socks (and black shoes--I was fascinated by these clothing details) who dug up graves in the mountains. That particular gang were called Clay Society. Sidebar: Guys, I think this Clay Society might be important! Anyway, Yanzi says the group disbanded or was put down by the government or both or something, and then Bayi and Fatty fight again because Fatty remembers the Finnish dagger. They arrive at the forest farm.
Yes, normally, if something like the Clay society is mentioned in a drama with farting weasels, it's important. 
Maybe they turned into weasels.
They peek in at a window and a scary man scares them off from the other side, pffft. To be precise, he scares off the boys because Yanzi is all, oh, you’re home, Uncle Qiao Shan? He’s the forest ranger, is he the other lady's dad? Or lover? and he has a big axe and a big fur coat. He demands the gun from the boys and Fatty asks for hot water. Uncle Qiao Shan just walks back into his house, and when Bayi asks Yanzi what’s happening, she says he’s a weird old man. (Or he doesn’t have time for city kids.) The boys start to walk off, when Uncle Qiao Shan calls them inside.  
Why would you think lover?  Now I can't get that picture out of my head.
This might surprise you, but I have a dirty mind.


What a clever weasel! But it should’ve just escaped and not stuck around. I was sad about that. Now it might get skinned alive for its fur which is just horrible.   
I'm not worried about this weasel because I think it's possessed or enchanted or something and our boys aren't very smart.
I don't care about the weasel at all. But I do remember how excited we were in "Jin Dong and his good hair in the desert" after the first 2 or 3 episodes. And then ..... downhill. I hope this one does not go the same route.
Oh but hasn't it already begun?  I mean come on.  Weasels
. . . that fart poison gas.