Old Nine Gates 老九门 - Episode 41 (Recap)

SakiVI: Okay, can we get out of this underground world/alternate reality already? On the plus side, the villains are unintentionally amusing here. And we meet Ryouko again.
kakashi: There's an old Chinese saying that goes: "Be patient as a snail and you will reap the benefits a thousandfold".

Episode 41- Escape from the Mines

Back to Chen Pi in the mist. Aw, he's hungry. Oh noes, he's now slurping memory noodles with Ya Tou.
I've stopped eating noodles altogether. I blame this show.
But to Er Ye in the mist, yawn. He looks good, at least. He now thinks of himself and Ya Tou as an elderly couple happy together. He imagines them dying at the same time. Romantic, I guess, but I hope they arranged their estates for an uncomplicated transfer to their heirs.
He always looked good, but that's about all that's to say about him
Anyway, in the present, Er Ye leaves the archway he originally entered. We next see Fo Ye, Ba Ye and Lt Zhang having placed all the pieces in place.
I think Fo Ye just sat there, because of his loss of power. He's still hot though.
Back to Er Ye saying, "Ya Tou," and looking sad. Flashbacks, too of their life together, including her death in Er Ye's arms. And, because I'm totally bored of Er Ye and Ya Tou, I note the pinkish-clear nail polish on his nails. In the present, Er Ye finally accepts all the visions he had were just a dream. Good boy.
He chuckles sadly into the mist
The others hear him laugh. Lt Zhang looks pretty as he says it would be good if Er Ye got over Ya Tou's death by seeing all these alternate reality visions. But oh noes! The fog is getting thicker!
Maybe the fog machine is out of control! Beware!
Cut to Chen Pi at the stone archway. He's looking for Ya Tou. But he also realizes he's been under an illusion.
What gave it away, Chen Poo? Did the fog smell funny? 
Next the giant stone game pieces are shown shaking. Apparently this is part of the illusion breaking. Ba Ye, Fo Ye and Lt Zhang run. They end up in some cave. Fo Ye looks hot. Lt Zhang looks really pretty. Ba Ye looks - intelligent. Huh. And indeed, he is the observant one to see the totally obvious coffin in the room. It's suspended in the air with several chains, and there's that same guy from the meteorite platform. Oh, it's the same coffin. Sidebar: why is it suspended in air via chains?
It's a total mystery, Saki. Maybe this merits a spin-off? Called "The Guy in the Coffin".
Wait, here is the coffin:
Ba Ye starts blubbering because this is The Real Qing Wu Zi. Yeah, whatever. I watched The Lost Tomb. I don't believe it when people say "this is the real coffin or the real Lord Shang."
So guess what happens next. Three guesses.-
The chains break and the coffin breaks and the perfectly-preserved body falls out! Bet you never guess that would happen. (Or did you?) I did so not!!! At least, Lt Zhang looks pretty while horrified. But I'm rolling on the floor laughing.
I'll join you
Our gang run over to the body, no rigor mortis here, and Fo Ye picks up a piece of the meteorite and the body rots or something. (Dear Reader: do not google cadaver or body decomposition rates. You'll see horrible images right up top. Also, in real life they look more green than Qing Wu Zi.)
Yes, there are certain things you should NEVER google
Everyone runs for it now because the Luosha Mirage is broken. Oh, it is? And who says so?! (Ba Ye) We cut to Er Ye leaving the stone archway, and Chen Pi follows. Er Ye is totally no fazed, though, probably since he's got metal balls and all. Chen Pi's Nose looks good. Er Ye tells Chen Pi the place is crashing and to run out. Chen Pi does as he is told because let's face it, we all follow parental instructions no matter how often we bluster that we're grown-ups now. Er Ye strolls out after Chen Pi, pffft.
Be careful, Er Ye! Falling stones! 
Chen Pi might need to run, but Er Ye just strolls.
The pair meet up with the rest of the gang as they escape. Hendry and all are still in the tomb, and then run into our boys too. (I'm not supposed to laugh at all this, but I am. - the acting reaches a new all time low here) Hendry demands to know if they got "the item." And what was the item? The meteorite? I'm lost.  
Not that I understand this drama, but I would say yes, "the item" is that tiny piece of meteorite that Fo Ye took. Why it's THAT piece and not the angry carrot, I don't know, but I'm guessing it has something to do with logistics? Even though Fo Ye is known to move gigantic buddhas. 
Logistics for the production team, more like.
Ba Ye snaps at him to escape the collaping tomb, and Hendry is all, nah, this is just an illusion, keep a firm mind. Keep thinking that, Hendry, muahahahahahahaha. Ba Ye scoffs he can see Hendry shaking, hahahahaha! Hendry starts his meteorite history lesson and says they are all in the mirage. Ba Ye tells him, dude, read the whole book. You have to get over your inner demons to exit the mirage. Hendry gnashes his many, many teeth and says, why would I have those? And then he's hit on the head by a falling stone, hahahahahahaha!
This merits a gif. Even though I think that's not a stone but the sole of his shoe that he held too close to the camera.
He fell down because of a stone. And yes, that's his shoe close to the camera. :-)
Oh dear, we get Hendry's inner demon. Himself, in a suit and tie, and old. He's terrified. He actually cries. He's still gnashing his teeth a bit, so it's not that sad. In real time, his men drag him out of the mine. 
Wow, he's afraid of old age. I don't even know what to say....
Cut to our boys outside the tomb. Er Ye calmly tells Chen Pi to rest and then follow him back to Changsha. Chen Pi says no. He doesn't want to go to jail for murdering like a psychopath. Good point. He runs off just as Hendry et al come out. Hendry is sobbing about growing old and dying. So much for his inner peace talk, pfft.
And I hate to break it to you, Hendry, but that's what happens to people? Man, he's ugly. He should worry about that.
His mannerisms, like the teeth gnashing, are weird. He's not really ugly when he's still.
Reaction shot to Hendry's meltdown:
We get our voiceover saying the mine is destroyed, is the voiceover sure?! but that it left an effect on everyone who went in. Apparently some people are still immersed in the illusion. To be honest, I'm not paying close attention to what was said as we look at whoever it is in the future looking at the old journals because the journals are so pretty.
Oh, shoot, that person still immersed is Hendry. Ryouko Tanaka is there looking sharp. Nice comeback, lady! The men tell her Hendry cracked up after meeting Fo Ye. They don't know anything else about what happened, but say Chen Pi will know. Except Chen Pi ran away when told to turn himself in. Ryouko is fine with that because they can find Chen Pi and there's no chance of him joining up with Er Ye again.
I get a feeling nobody really cares for Hendry. Sorry, dude. It's your teeth.
Cut to Chen Pi wandering through town, wanting noodles. He really, really, really wants noodles. Seems he is still in the illusion. He imagines himself married to Ya Tou. Urgh. He thinks he is the one who saved Ya Tou. Back in the present, Chen Pi seems to feel full. He then starts yelling for Ya Tou and scaring everyone. He remembers Hendry telling him the things in the mine can go beyond life and death and so he rushes to the Japanese Chamber of Commerce. It's totally cool how Chen Pi jumps the wall. He looks like he has super-powers. Of course, he kills a few people as he searches for Hendry. And when he finds Hendry, the latter is in pjs and a total blubbering mess. The ensuing fight between Chen Pi and Hendry where Hendry is throwing books at Chen Pi and gnashing his teeth and screeching "you're crazy!" in English, and Chen Pi is responding, "you know it!" in Mandarin is so, so, funny! Okay, it was worth seeing this villain-heavy episode.
Sadly, Lu was missing! I would have loved to see him throttle both of them as well
Ryouko stops Chen Pi from chooking Hendry to death, but Chen Pi still kills the men with her. But when he goes for Ryouko, she snarls at him that he'll never get back down to the mine without her and Hendry so stop killing everyone. That was pretty cool, Ryouko. Chen Pi screams and runs out. All the samurai are after Chen Pi, who refuses to tell Ryouko anything. Chen Pi fights everyone and jumps onto the roof and out of the compound. Ryouko still looks sharp. As Chen Pi runs out, Chief Lu's car almost knocks him down, and then Chen Pi collapses. Kid, you should have had real noodles, not illusion noodles!
Here we go, Lu has arrived! Here for a merry threesome!
Cut to Chen Pi blathering about Ya Tou and crabs and noodles and Er Ye in prison. Pffft, Chief Lu can't get anything out of him about the tomb. Chief Lu threatens to kill Chen Pi and Chen Pi says to do it so he can see Ya Tou. Chief Lu then says, tell me what's in the tomb, and then I'll let you meet Ya Tou. Chen Pi says he saw Hendry, walked into the meteorite, saw Ya Tou, returned to his younger days, and then cries for his Granny. Apparently, Chen Pi also saw all the people he killed walking in front of him. Chief Lu finally figures out the meteorite has had an effect on Chen Pi.
Next time, drama, do that in less time, okay? 
Cut to Chief Lu demanding Huo Niang help him get the meteorite. She says no can do. She also tells him to get the meteorite himself. Chief Lu seems dumbfounded. Huo Niang kicks him out very elegantly by yawning. This was funny.
Lu thinks him going against Fo Ye is "an extremely bad plan"? Er, Lu? Did you think having a woman do it for you was a good plan? 
Cut to Chief Lu all worried Huo Niang was dumping him. And Chen Pi is a new sort of crazy where he blabs a lot and is weird, not just psycho.
Oh well.

Cut to Huo Niang drinking. She'll just see who will win between Fo Ye and Chief Lu, and finally realizes the mess she's got herself into with the Gates as a whole, especially Er Ye, who won't support her against Fo Ye. I dunno, it's not that hard, really. Just go to Fo Ye and apologize and say you were threatened by Chief Lu and didn't Fo Ye also have to run away from him, hmm?
Done with her. Well, I always was. She isn't smart enough to play this kind of game. Sorry to say. 
Cut to Jiu Ye's tea house. Jiu Ye is with Fo Ye and Ba Ye and they are looking at the meteorite piece. Oh, Fo Ye has a cute smile! Fo Ye says he plans to completely remove Chief Lu, head and position. Jiu Ye says let the Zhang Family come and get the meteorite piece - and deal with Chief Lu.
Ohhhhhh, some ass kicking. Nice. 


The villains made me laugh this time! Okay, it was unintentional, but whatever puts me in a good mood is fine by me. In particular, Hendry and Chen Pi's fight was hilarious.

One villain made me a little sad, though. Ah, Huo Niang. Gosh, you've been pointless. I felt for you because you're dealing with chauvinist males in a chauvinist society and you had to walk a societal tightrope and it didn't seem like Fo Ye was helping you with that tightrope and on top of that you had this whole unrequited love thing going on. I get that. But us women don't need your repeated failures. Go watch Ice Fantasy and take lessons from Lian Ji.
Yeah, what can I say. Another completely useless episode, but at least all the villains have backed down. Well, not Lu, but I never took him seriously anyway.