Fall In Love With Both Of Me - Episode 11 (A SqueeCap)
Shuk: Argh. The story gets muddled in all sorts of ways as the stuff hits the fan, we finally get our Big Reveal, and our characters come face to face with hidden truths and exposed lies.
JoAnne: I can think of some hidden things that should be exposed. None of them involve Huan Huan or Leo. Or Lance. Or Whiny for that matter.
Shuk: It’s a few moments after the recording of the Dork /AdGuy transfer, and all appears normal. Dork has snacks for everyone at OZ, and Bangs nearly trips on his KISS shoes.
JoAnne: Where do you even buy shoes like that?
Shuk: I'd check with Ace Frehley. He knows.
Shuk: Butler Fu shows up with corrected-for-the-correction paperwork. Everyone is confused, but he smoothly goes into his spiel regarding the two blacklisted companies. Dork and Fu exchange a few goofy looks, not unnoticed by PD Leo, who, yet again, chooses to just watch.
JoAnne: Seriously, why don't they just put in one of those big card board cut outs of the guy? He does NOTHING. EVER.
JoAnne: No lefties in the bunch, I guess.
Shuk: During the conversation, Kitty lets the cat out of the bag; OZ needs to secure a 8 000 000 TWD surety bond ($ 266,711 American / 195 750 euros) to guarantee completion of the projects. The Tao Elders freak, but decide to offer to mortgage the dojo for the money. Dork finally pipes up; he will front the money from a bequest that he had received from a distant relative.
JoAnne: Yeah. Not that distant. Was that always his intent, or did it not occur to him that even that much would be beyond their means?
Shuk: TaoDad insists on giving Dork a 30% stake in OZ as collateral on the loan. He doesn’t want it, but finally agrees. That means, of course, that the Taos now only have a 40% share in their own company.
JoAnne: I do not see this going well, through no fault of Dork's.
Shuk: It’s now dark, and Chalk Girl is prepping for bedtime when she receives a phone call from Tian Xing, asking to meet her outside. When she shows, he is in a suit but no tie, and no smile. He tells her that this is his goodbye, because he’s leaving Taiwan with no expectation of returning. She’s surprised and a little sad, but he lightens the mood, saying she should be happy that arrogant creep is out of her life.
JoAnne: Even I get confused. I was all set to sarcastically ask why he had to do this in the middle of the night when I remembered that this is because his alter ego was with her all day and into the evening...
Shuk: He asks if they can at least part as friends, and they shake on it. He asks her to always think kindly of him, and to do her best. With that he walks away, thinking that now he is free to shower her with both personae’s affections. She’s upset enough for a suitable sad expression and a flashback of some of her memorable encounters with AdGuy, and quietly thanks his retreating back.
JoAnne: For what? For leaving? For being what she only now realizes was a decent guy who tried to help her over and over and genuinely displayed his true emotion for her when he realized that he loved her? Hmmm? I'm not bitter.
JoAnne: Good. Let the little twit get fat and be forgotten.
JoAnne: I've never once seen any indication that anyone feels like he 'owes' it to the Li family.
Shuk: At OZ, Chalk Girl gives Dork the share transfer paperwork. PD Leo looks thoughtful, but that’s nothing new. Bangs, Kitty, and Chalky head out for barbeque; PDLeo has a script meeting with Huan Huan, and asks that Dork stay back for a brief conversation.
JoAnne: If it were anyone but Leo, I'd assume it's on like Donkey Kong.
Shuk: Moment of truth; PD Leo finally does something, and asks Dork: “Lu Tian Xing, what are you doing?” Stareoff! And Tian Xing takes off the glasses and Dork. PD Leo won’t say when he realized the bait-and-switch, but he still wants to know what’s going on. Tian Xing freely admits that he stays Xiao Lu because he loves Chalk Girl, and Chalk Girl loves Dork.
JoAnne: I LOVED that it was so quick, no lying, just yep, I love her, so I'm trying to do what I think makes her happy.
JoAnne: I see nothing wrong with this pla...hhahahahahahaah oh I can't even fake it.
JoAnne: Scurry away, tiny bundle of trouble, scurry away.
Shuk: Toady is chortling an evil chortle, watching the video of the AdGuy/Dork transformation, and we now know who sicced the photographer on him. He’s impressed at Lu Tian Xing’s scheme, but what plan is that? Toady Jr brings the official OZ contracts with the surety bond information, and confirms that Xiao Lu fronted the bond money for 30% of the company. He looks at Tao Zi’s business card, and sends the incriminatory video to her email account with a sly little smile.
Shuk: I think they two-dimensionalized a couple of characters for no discernible reason.
Shuk: Little Brat is so frazzled she nearly gets creamed by a car crossing the street.
JoAnne: We were almost so lucky...
Shuk: Everyone is busy at OZ, but PD Leo is not busy enough to miss the little exchanges between Dork and Chalky. He tries to call Huan Huan, but her phone is off. A package is delivered, and Dork pops up to sign for it just as Chalk Girl gets a phone call from Aunt Jing (from the real estate ad). Distracted, Dork hastily signs his real name to the packing slip.
JoAnne: Even the writers are tired of this shit and want to move things along faster.
Shuk: Everyone gathers around the phone and congratulates Aunt Jing over her successful transition to grandmother. When the phone call is complete, Tao Zi gets an email ding. And the shit hits the fan.
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| The shows's writers get ready for a change. |
JoAnne: You're good, I almost missed it - it was very fast.
Shuk: By now, Little Brat has made it to Bro’s office, hyperventilating and in tears. She tells Lance what she overheard, and he admits to knowing it already. He demonizes Tian Xing, explaining that he planned to abandon the family and Huan Huan in favor of Tao Zi. He promises to help her convince Tian Xing to stay.
JoAnne: Well... but I guess he actually was going to abandon them, because he can't actually go live somewhere else and just have them come visit. He said Tian Xing was going away forever, and I took that to mean he wouldn't ever appear as him again.
JoAnne: I will just take her failure as proof she really does actually love him because if she hated him like she SAYS she does...she'd chew her hand off to get rid of that thing.
Shuk: Or called the local Fire Department for the Jaws Of Life.
JoAnne: See, he wasn't mistreated.
Shuk: And now some of the family business dynamics get revealed. She’s the de facto owner of TX and Butler Fu is a paid employee of the Family. She complements him on his DorkGuise as looking energetic and almost like a third son. A few thoughts ping-ponged through my head at this time:
- She made the decision for this boy to grow up alone in a big house with a single servant (we don't know that, he could have insisted. it's a STORY.)
- More than likely, she is also the shareholder for the first 30% of OZ Advertising, not Lu Tian Xing (unless it was actually his dad acting on his own, but if it wasn't that, then yeah.)
- And even more probably, her money was used for the bond, which puts 60% of the company not with AdGuy, but with Toady (I'd think that Tian Xing was NOT stupid enough to use company money...but then again, he did invent Xiao Lu.)
- She will not take kindly to her daughter’s stud muffin slipping away (Well. I think she will be upset that her daughter is hurt, and she may think that Tao Zi is not a suitable partner for Tian Xing...but I don't get the feeling she thinks of him as meat for Huan Huan's grill, necessarily.)
Shuk: Tian Xing manages another toned-down AdGuy look before arriving at the location, this time with bow tie. He reaches out to touch her hair but she raps his hand away.
JoAnne: Is it just me or does Tian Xing In Love and Being Gentle just really GET YOU IN YOUR HEART?
JoAnne: Dun dun DUN
JoAnne: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Okay, number one: Aaron. Just perfect. Number two: omgthisissofrustrating I can see why she thinks it but it's so not true, it's not true at all, it was never that, but can you imagine how she must FEEL that would be horrible.
Shuk: He tries again: whether he was Dork or AdGuy, Tian Xing always acted with sincerity towards both her and her company. She tosses her birthday photo at him and strides away. He grips it for a moment, and then chases after her. She gets in the Mystery Machine; he gets in LuLexus, and they perform a low-speed chase scene.
JoAnne: I swear if they stop the cars and OJ Simpson gets out of one of them I will quit this show.
JoAnne: Unniiiiiiiiii whatcha doing? Oh, nothing...just slowly driving away from the wreckage of my life, you? Unniiiiiiiii I can't get the boy I like to pay attention to me. Oh, no probs, just meet me at X. I totally have time to solve your love problems before my heart completely cracks in half and falls out of my chest from sadness and betrayal. Thank you Unniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Shuk: The location turns out to be a lonely stretch of road near the Fuguei Cape. It’s a sloping grassy knoll leading to some seriously ugly rocks and the East China Sea. Little Brat arrives first, but soon all three are out of their vehicles. Huan Huan is all but ignored as Tian Xing rounds on Tao Zi. Her attempts to interject between the battling couple fail when Tian Xing yells at her to get the hell away. She stands on the sidelines, crying, as the drama unfolds before her.
JoAnne: But unniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii you said...Oh for Christ's sake, girl, shut up. Unniiiiiii?
Shuk: Tian Xing tries to reason with Tao Zi; no matter what the name, he loves her with all his heart. He explains his reasoning behind bringing Xiao Lu back, after her behavior as both Mopy McMope Mope and absolutely rejecting Lu Tian Xing’s confession, including her dismissal of everything AdGuy did for her. She tries to pull away, and finally resorts to biting his arm to get him to release her.
JoAnne: He actually makes it sound reasonable. Damn him and his handsome sad face.
Shuk: When she spins out of his arms, Chalk Girl slips and begins to slide towards the cliff. Tian Xing throws himself down on the ground and grabs her arm to stop her from sliding further. And here’s the part I don’t get: Little Brat leaps forward as well, only to trip over a rock and also head over the cliff. Tian Xing grabs her with his other arm; now he is holding both women by his hands.
JoAnne: You don't think her instinct was to help grab Tao Zi? She's not a bad girl or a murderer. She's just clumsy. And stupid.
JoAnne: Did she just commit suicide as a passive-aggressive gesture of love?
Shuk: Tao Zi makes it to safety as Tian Xing leaps to save Huan Huan. He manages to climb up the slope with the unconscious brat in his arms, and it’s clear she never hit the rocks. She wakes up long enough to smile and remember when Tian Xing gue gue piggybacked her as kids. They are in the rear of the LuLexus while Tao Zi drives them to the hospital.
JoAnne: So if he could walk up the slope with another person in his arms, there was never any actual danger at all for anyone, and it's not the PLOT that's a problem, it was how and where the director chose to choreograph the scene. If he had not had Tian Xing walk up the slope, we'd have laughed at the silly hill but always wondered if maybe it was more dangerous than it looked. *shakes fist at director*
Shuk: At the Emergency Department, Tian Xing tells Chalk to head home; he leaves her standing there and runs into Brat’s room. She’s still there when he is forced out of the room.
JoAnne: Well of course he has to be concerned. She's been part of his life always and she was hurt at least in part because of him. Yes, I put the blame on her, but if he had taken the time earlier in the series to tell her to STOP...if he hadn't come up with the stupid doppelganger idea and then held on to it far too long...she's just an idiot, is what she is...but he must care about her even if he's not in love with her. Which is why I don't understand the times he was SO cruel and dismissive, unless we're just supposed to accept that as part of his single-minded pursuit of Tao Zi.
Shuk: Huan Huan is in a private room with FosterMom and Toady. Her neck is injured, and there may be some long-term effects from it. Tian Xing gazes at the sobbing older woman before looking away from her and Lance’s stare.
Shuk: He’s alone in the hospital room when Brat finally wakes up. She wonders what happened, and he is forced to explain her injury. She realizes she can neither feel nor move her legs, and breaks down crying.
JoAnne: Perhaps, then, you shouldn't have thrown yourself off a cliff?
Shuk: Things are normal at the OZ office, until Chalk Girl makes the stunning announcement. Lu Tian Xing is now the owner of OZ Advertising. PD Leo outs himself that he knew about the switcheroo. She wonders why he never said anything, and he sheepishly explains that the man really liked her, and that she was happier around Xiao Lu. There’s a round of Dork-bashing between everyone as she rips the punching-bag photo of him to shreds. Bangs starts boxing up his personal effects.
JoAnne: Oh give it a rest you idiots.
Shuk: At the hospital, FosterMom is trying to feed Brat, but she won’t eat unless Tian Xing welds the chopsticks. He promises next time to bring her food that she likes to eat. She perks up with a big smile.
JoAnne: Sprinkle it with medication, hear? This girl is wacko.
Shuk: Outside the hospital room, Lance catches up to Tian Xing, and basically guilts our guy into becoming a nursemaid for his sister.
JoAnne: Shit.
Shuk: PD Leo offers Chalk Girl a cup of tea, a confession, and a hug. For the record, Tia Li is an ugly crier among her other flaws as an actress.
JoAnne: First you do nothing, Leo, then you move too fast.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Shuk: FINALLY
JoAnne: REALLY
Shuk: Since we are just past the half-way mark, I see two paths that lead to Angstville: Tian Xing chained to Huan Huan by nature of her stupid actions and his feelings towards his foster family. And the struggle for OZ based on the ownership of that 60% share.
JoAnne: So plenty of mighty frustrating meat to eat at this particular BBQ.
Shuk: Tao Zi's emotions don't resonate with me, so her struggles with the Xiao Lu / Tian Xing conflict are just a ho-hum anecdote to me now. Maybe because I'm focused on Aaron Yum, I'd rather watch him try to slog his way with the morass of WTFkery and find his own happiness. But I'm shallow like that, I guess.
JoAnne: We are emotionally constipated twins, then, because I could not give one tiny shit about anyone but him at this point.
Shuk: I also speculate whether Huan Huan will get better but pretend to be paralyzed for the sake of keeping Tian Xing around. After all, she is an emotion cripple, too. We will see; now that most of the secrets are out, I hope we can finally progress on the story line.
JoAnne: Oh yes, please, let me hate her fully.
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| The Cliffs of FakeOut |