Cubic (A SnarkCap) - Episode 13
Shuk: More tea sets! More Red Robe scenes! More staring! Danny still can't dance, and Lin Lan Ser still can't emote. But the law enforcement is closing around our high IQ / low EQ girl as her silly older sister waxes rhapsodic over her fantasy of LLS's love directed at her.
Trotwood: It's been a really really long time, so I thought that my complete disdain for Nark"s fanily would have lessened with time. Nope. If anything, my pandemic patience is non-existent for these two.
Kmuse: UGH! I forgot the stupid Dad and Sister are back. I foresee them annoying me greatly.
Chapter 13
BadDad has a face to face with our favorite bro-pair.
He's clearly spinning a yarn regarding Nark's biological dad. He figured she would be the better person to sell into indenture use as collateral dispose of her to the Chaihong Group.
As soon as dad appears, I wanted to punch him in the face. If I would there, I probably would have. My only concern being that blood might splatter on LLS's pure white vest. And as you all know, I'm against vest violence.
LLS calls him a lousy human being. Woman everywhere agreed and sharpen their claws (True. My slapping suit changed to a punching suit). After all, if Ruthainark wasn't the geeeenius she is, who knows if she would have survived the upheaval.
You know it is bad when LLS is the ethical giant of the conversation.
But BadDad had confidence in her unattractive body and brilliant mind. He didn't raise her as a normal kid, but did his best to hone her capabilities.
Since when did extreme neglect equal honing a mind to be brilliant?
Our vested hero gets more and more angry when he realizes that the person who raised Nark always looked as her as a commodity. He twitches the groove between his eyebrows for almost a minute. Such method acting!
Anyway, LLS agrees to BadDad's faxed proposal. All his debts are cleared, in return for Nark's body staying in Taiwan Hong Kong permanently. BadDad looks surprised, but not unhappy as the boss storms out.
BadDad is an idiot. I can barely stand listening to Princess talk for more than five seconds. He's insulting everyone for thinking his daughter is a better catch than Nark.
Jong Sang is no less angry than his boss and warns BadDad to never look down on Nark.
BadDad spouts some BS about loving both girls equally. I quietly snort into my Dr Pepper and stop watching. I was annoyed by his sh$$ eating grin, even though JS neither confirms nor denies that there is any love awareness between our two leads.
The worst part about this show is Dad not having any kind of comeuppance. He is just the worst.
The sisters are chatting. Princess is convinced that their father must be talking to LLS about her. She pouts a little and apologizes to Nark for throwing her to a mafioso.
Nark denies any hardship, and Nan just breezes past her comments to the heart of her attitude. If she had known that the debt would be paid to a tall, well-dressed hottie, she would've sacrificed herself for her younger sister.
I almost passed out from rolling my eyes so hard during this scene. She is sooo going to sacrifice herself because all she can think about is getting into LLS's pants. I'd want to know how Nark raised so much money so quickly; she doesn't even praise her for that. She just treats Nark like she's some silly child. Princess wouldn't know how to raise $5 let alone $2 million. Pfft.
Speak of the devil, BadDad is back and with news. LLS is requesting dinner with Nan, and she flounces off to get ready. The two left decide to talk. Nark assures her dad that she has adapted well in this environment, and he hugs and congratulates her. Yuck.
Quadruple yuck.
Can someone accidentally shoot dad? I'm pretty sure it would be an easy shot with that enlarged head that is housing his ginormous ego.
Later, at her construction crate (and why is she still in that when her sister and dad are in a posh suite??), she messes with her Rubik's cube and thinks. There are flashbacks of her slimy sister conversation, and you know she's wondering about her position with LLS now.
But there's the peppy love theme. Don't forget the awkwardly peppy love theme. It's like something they'd play on that old tv show "Fantasy Island".
At the school, he walks away but not before she asks for an audience. In his office, she wants to know if he likes her sister now that he's met her. He sips from another lovely teacup (it really is lovely) as he reminds Nark to remember what he previously said about the subject. Nark bites the bullet. If he truly likes Nan, and promises to treat her well, then Nark will leave and not stop him.
LLS, of course, wants to know how Nark feels about all of this. She feeds him a line of bullsh platitudes, which ticks him off. He faces the window so Nark can't see his expression, and barks at her. Is this what she wants to happen? Nark chokes out a "yes" and leaves his office. Staring staring staring through the window at each other. Oh, you stupid stupid pair of idiots.
They really need to be together because no one else is this dumb. Except Nan, and we all hate her, so . . .
I need some romance to counterbalance all this selfish family crap. They make me so cranky and no amount of romantic music can fix it.
When is she supposed to be in school? She's walking around a school that is clearly in session. Isn't she supposed to be in class? But she's still in her chauffer uniform--does she get course credit for this job since he's technically the principal?
Mei Jin catwalks into the Chaihong offices, in black feathers and a dress that features a stylized sun and Courtney Love on a bender. The receptionist assures her several times that (a) LLS is in; and (b) no Thai girls have been skulking around there.
I just realized her purse looks like she crushed a baby flamingo inside a Lily Clutch by Tyler Ellis. Anyway, she always looks like a queen no matter her questionable garb.It's the way she carries herself.
As she waits in LLS's office, she thinks about those weird clues that LLS is interested in Ruthainark. She grabs his cellphone off his desk (STOP. Does no one in drama lock their phones?) and scrolls through the photo gallery, which is chock full of Nark pics: happy, asleep, frowning. (That's not at all stalkerish and maybe illegal since she is still underage.) She recalls various conversations that seemed to put the young woman into LLS's heart.
She finally realizes that she had the wrong rival the entire time.
LLS enters while she still has the phone, but she doesn't back down even though she's caught. She eggs him on by asking about the moment he fell for Nark. Mei Jin starts rattling off all those times that his behavior altered for this high schooler.
If he had fallen for Nantaka, Mei Jin could have fought for him. But Nark? She can't fight against her rival's very different charms. Mei Jin then tries a different tack. Does Nark know of LLS's interest? He deflects the question, and she accuses him of lacking courage. Him, Lin LanSer, is cowardly and afraid of rejection.
She delicately snarls that now that he feels a one-sided love, he should understand those around him, even a paid escort like her. Oof, that was harsh on both of you, MJ.
She has got to feel even more of an idiot than she did before. She also likes Nark, which makes all of this hard. She knows that Nark hasn't done anything specifically to attract LLS, and she's knows that Nark wouldn't think of herself as a rival even if she did. Nark believes what her family has told her--she's not the type men like.
LLS is left staring and thinking. And frowning. And staring.
We actually get MJ's sad theme song playing for part of his staring. He doesn't deserve it, but it keeps playing while we see MJ next, so I'm not nearly as mad that he's co-opting her music. MJ is one of the few 2nd FLs I actively like.
MJ is left on a barstool at the Sad Singles Bar, drinking a martini and reflecting on Nark's friendliness and youth. Jong Sing shows up. Now would be a good time to introduce her to his only body part that LLS doesn't control. But, nope, he plays the platonic friend.
Sigh. He loves her so much, too.
She wonders what she lacks that she lost to a mere child. Jong Sing is worried that she feels bad, but she's known for a while that LLS would never love her. JS still doesn't say anything. She asks him to keep her company, and he gets all shy and squiggly. She toasts the end of her LLS emotions and they click glasses. Talk to her, you great bespectacled oaf!
Talk about someone who needs a good shaking. It's not like LLS would be mad if he liked her. LLS has already said as much.
Meanwhile, our male lead is wrapped up in his Red Robe of Rumination, yet again thinking about everything from Nark to the cruel words of his mother to her suicide. The music gets very dramatic...
He clutches his pillow pretty hard.
Then, with an ear-jarring crash, we are suddenly subjected to squealing high schoolers and another Dance Bizzaro from Danny. The dancing makes him so less attractive. I need to pause and mourn the loss of his sex appeal. Our eyes and ears finally get a break from this mess when his father calls.
I will never understand this show's Danny dance breaks. But then again, I also don't understand his dad's Marlo Thomas That Girl hairdo, so . . .
Jong Sing says nothing, but his stare speaks volumes. LLS feels the need to explain and finally admits his feelings out loud to someone just not the person who really needs to hear it (sigh). Baby steps! This young girl makes him angry, worried, longing, king of the world and he wants these feelings forever. None of this shows on his face, of course.
JS finally speaks, and offers to handle everything. It's a very bromance moment because he tells LLS that he is happy that LLS is happy. Was that a smile I saw on LLS's face? But when he opens the door to leave, our fancy-footed fanboy forces himself into the room. Danny insists on talking to LLS. 
Before we can have a Danny-LLS confrontation, we see DEA Patrick focused on a dossier of Ruthainark. He thinks back to the arms deal and realizes that Nark was the "patient" in the ambulance.
Back in LLS's office, he insists that Nark stay right in HK, and he will protect her. Geez, LLS you've been doing a great job so far. And this time he's against an INTERPOL agent, which will doom both his father and Chaihong Group. LLS just looks stubborn. The tension gets thick before JS steps in as peacekeeper.Danny can make a lot of sense when he isn't dancing. He cares about Nark and his dad.
Danny storms out, knowing that it's two oblivious adults against his geeenius teenage self.
Once the boy is gone, JS admits that Danny has a very good point, and makes complete sense. Still, LLS refuses to send her back to Thailand. Maybe they can delete any records of her and hide her in HK somewhere. JS puts the cabosh on that thought, since they still may have Yong Wen moles infiltrated in their ranks. There's no way to make Nark completely disappear.
Stubborn stubborn man refuses to understand this. JS now advises that Chaihong Group is bigger than one woman and one decision. That finally gets through, and after some thought, LLS agrees. Jong Sing wastes no time and bolts out of the office.LLS actually looks really upset here. As he should, it's just surprising that there was an obvious emotion on his face.
I actually think she is loyal to LLS and also probably likes him without realizing it. She spends more time on how she is now one of LLS's people and made a promise rather than about her debt.
I agree. She wants to be near LLS even if she does have to watch her idiot sister flutter around him.
Just then, her boss shows up and orders her to return to her homeland. They are going to delete Nark's existence, and use her family to hide the fact that she was ever in HK. And once she goes back, she will be forbidden to contact anyone for the foreseeable future: no Danny, no BadDad, no Jong Sing, and no LLS.
That last bit hit her the hardest I think. I like the fact that she included JS in the list of people she'd want to talk to.
Nark stares at each one in turn as her eyes fill with tears. She is so distressed even Danny can't maintain eye contact with her. She will follow her boss' orders. It has to be done, but clearly nobody is happy about it. Finally, only LLS and Nark are left in the room. They stare at each other, more BGM and zoom-stares, until LLS turns to go.
We officially have emoting! Progress is being made slowly but surely.
He pushes her away a bit, and tells her to beg to stay. But she is one of his people and will follow his orders. Another hug ensues, this time with some type of pipe organ reprise of the love theme in the background.
Seriously, we get the whole damn duet version of the love theme PLUS a pipe organ version. I'm like "Guys, Interpol is on it's way, and I bet they aren't waiting for their theme song to be over."
Later, LLS is back in his Red Robe, drinking hard liquor (in a boring highball glass). He's staring at nothing, snippets of Ruthainark projecting from his memories. Does he really have to let her go, he wonders.
Am I the only one thinking that we are greatly lacking in stair staring this episode?
The next day Danny and Nark are both in their slovenly clothes, walking towards that "LOVE" sculpture. They both blames themselves for this impasse. Nark promises not to make anyone worry; she will survive fine and be happy on her own. They both know it's a lie. He wishes her luck and a handshake turns into a hug. Aww, best bro/sis scene ever.
Nark leaves a heartfelt message via the voicemail on LLS's house phone. Err, how is she supposed to leave, when she was kidnapped and smuggled in without a passport, and she is the target of an INTERPOL agent?I have faith in JS's skills.
LLS was home when she left the message, and now he replays it as he sifts through all the Nark photos on his phone.
He's deleting them, too, which is probably one of the smartest if most painful things he's done. He never locks his phone, so . . .
She is a little upset that she won't get into any physical calisthenics with LLS. BadDad knows it's to cover up Nark's existence in HK, but he's not sure why.
Patrick is in HK! Along with an agent who seriously needs a hairband. He struts into Chaihong and demands to see Lin Lan Ser.
Everyone is cool as cucumbers. Patrick goes right into it as Hippy Hair shows a photo of Nark-as-driver. With CUBIC written in big computer-generated letters across the pic.
 |
| Lol. This is really the kind of pics they think Interpol carries around? |
LLS admits to knowing her, but only as the younger daughter of his debtor and the younger sister of his paramour.
Patrick snarls his instincts are on the nose. LLS coolly states his information must be spotty and manufactured. JS interjects how sad that Agent Patrick couldn't even stop arms from being smuggled three months ago.
Our pair are perfect. Gosh if there was such a geeenius that could fool INTERPOL, it's a shame they didn't meet and recruit her. Anyway, Mr. Agent can only look for her on his own. He can always check their records if he wants. And good luck to him!
Oh, and by the way, take your crappy, fake information with him. Instead Patrick tosses it into LLS's lap, since he has backup copies of everything. LLS throws it right back, since he has no use for other people's things. Wow, the music is almost as dramatic as a wuxia standoff.
With a mixture of "Starsky and Hutch".
Outside the office, Patrick is convinced that Ruthainark is someone of importance to LLS and Chaihong. But she's 17 years old, so there's no way she can be the Shadow. Nevertheless, they must find her in order to capture Carlos.
In Thailand, Nark is hiding out in the Amphawa District, southwest of Bangkok. She is at a resort in, of all things, a glass-walled villa. Good hideout, NOT. Especially when she is still in her Newsie things in a tropical environment. And walking around crying.
So obvious.
He literally tells her that anything she wants to know, she should ask JS. He REALLY doesn't want to talk to her. I don't know why he can't go to events alone. It's not like he went with her anywhere before, and people would just believe he had her holed up somewhere for his pleasure while trying to break up with MJ.
Nark is playing with her Rubik cube. Thankfully her knit cap is gone, and she looks a bit more native. Still sad though. She remembers the one time when LLS smiled after drying her hair post-rainstorm. Did it actually happen? I can't even remember.
It must have happened because we are forced to listen to an entire section of the sad love theme song (acapella female version) for this flashback. They don't waste songs on fake stuff. Besides that ugly watch he's going to keep wearing in her memory is burned into my retinas.
And she still can't figure out what he means!! smh. In fact, she's convinced it would never happen for a girl like her. My gosh, someone needs to hit her with a heart-shaped hammer.
Meanwhile in Evil Land, Yong Wen has the fakiest facial hair even when compared to Uncle Flock. I miss Uncle Flock. He has been gone from the action for way too long. After looking at some photos of Nark and LLS, he decides to break that fourth barrier and tell us all that the best way to go after LLS, is to kill all his women, one by one, including Nark.
FINAL COMMENTS
Another episode done. And our main leads STILL cannot tell each other how they truly feel. Do you think it's because of Nark's age?
No. I think it's because they are both emotionally stunted individuals. LLS has not been emotionally attached to a woman since his mother committed suicide and everyone around him expects him to be with a woman like MJ. To be fair to him as possible, his feelings for Nark shouldn't make sense on any level. Why would Nark think he likes her when his face hardly ever changes? It has taken 13 episodes for him to smile at her. She has been brought up to be the "unattractive smart one" in her family. From my experience, younger siblings who have attractive older siblings often have a complex and with society reinforcing this idea. It's why it doesn't occur to her stupid family that she would be in sexual danger being in LLS's hands. She's completely bought into the "men don't like women like me" bit because lets be honest. Most of the time they don't.
With our ugly-fakey-bearded villain ready to take action, I expect the violence to escalate.. Maybe someone will take a tumble down the stairs while starring. That would make KMuse happy, especially if it is that annoying sister.
Seriously, she needs to go, but not before she recognizes that Nark is just as pretty even in her Newsie outfits.
We still have seven more to go, folks!