The Weasel Grave 鬼吹灯之黄皮子坟 - Episode 10 (Recap)

SakiVI: In which we find everyone knows everyone.
kakashi: In which we celebrate the weather, the true star of this show. 
Trotwood: In which we learn that being seen in long underwear is the same as being seen in regular underwear.
JoAnne:  In which we learn these grassland dwellings have enviable closet space.

Episode 10

Back to Bayi being a hero, sigh. This setup is obvious and boring. Not boring, however, are the galloping horses.
True, they were beautiful. The rest: why? 
None of this makes any sense including the fact that I keep expecting things to make sense.
I feel like Dory: Just keep watching, just keep watching

okay, so Bayi aims for the white horse he saw before. Somehow, as an alpha male, he recognized the herd boss, I guess. Also, his one-handed riding style is really annoying to me. to me too. So, he tears across to the rampaging herd, and, for some reason, his own horse isn't scared, and, to the open-mouthed amazement of his friends who are watching him from VERY far away, but they see everything while the experienced cowboys lasso and round up other horses. Bayi jumps onto the white pony's back bareback, what skill! and leads the rest of the horses away from whatever it was they were doing and into the right place.
Why can Bayi ride like this as a city boy?  
Maybe he learned in the army?
He is an Educated Youth, after all. Maybe he learned it the same place he learned all that Mojin Xaiowei stuff.

Everyone cheers. Boss Yangpi's expression stays the same, but I expect he was cheering inside because that's what this show is about, cheering on Bayi.
I didn't think this at all. If anything, this whole bit made Bayi more suspicious. Weren't we all wondering how he knew how to ride that horse? And now Yangpi has to grudgingly give him some respect.
Yangpi doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.

So, all the horses, including the ones the other cowboys were riding, follow Bayi. The storm and dust and views are amazing, though. And Fatty fanboys, screaming he loves Bayi. Yikes, that storm is chasing them all! The Scoobies rush to open the corral gate. The horses follow Bayi's herd boss horse. Fatty tells Bayi he's awesome, and Ding Sitian glows at him.
That corral did not look like it would hold if those horses had continued running (which they would have with the storm behind them)
I also didn't think it looked big enough to hold them all anyway.
It was designed by Sydney Newman.

So, now the horses are in their pen, but how does that protect them from the storm that's about to hit them and everyone else? Yangpi shouts at the Scoobies to get down. They do that. Once it passes, they all dust themselves off, and introductions are made. Are we supposed to believe that the wind that brought that dust storm also helped blow away the dust that would have been on their clothes?There was hardly any dusting off of anything. How is it possible that their hair does not look like it's covered in dust? Did the wind blow all the dust out of that, too? Yangpi tells the storm wasn't a sandstorm but North Evil Dragon. That's the answer. The North Evil Dragon doesn't really have dust. Sure, why not? Makes as much sense as everything else.While everyone jokes about it, Ding and Bayi make eyes at each other.
Bayi smiles like he's on drug basically during the entire episode.
Okay. He is supposed to like her, but this smiling doesn't make any sense. It's like the writers can't make of their minds about Bayi's character. If I hadn't seen Ethan Ruan in anything (and I mean anything) else, I'd think he was a horrible actor.
I thought he was supposed to like her, too, but it seems we were wrong.  Which was good in a way because I also thought he liked Huamei.

Then, Yanzi says, look, the Heavenly Palace of the Jade Emperor! Oups, no, that's just a mirage. Moving on, Bayi asks what is that place (I don't know yet what he's talking about) and Yangpi says, that's the Cave of Eyes (did anyone see this before it was mentioned?). Didn't see it after, either. Ah, so that's where the Japanese Water Supply Unit used to station itself. Bayi asks why the Japanese would choose a place in the middle of nowhere to station troops. No one knows.
This didn't make sense, no. From the Palace of the Jade Emperor being a mirage to the Cave of Eyes.
I thought (but then again, I tell myself stories while watching to give things a semblance of sense) that Yanzi spotted something, and everyone teased her about it being a mirage when it really is the Cave of the Eyes rather than a mirage, which they assumed initially after her comment.
Wait, is it that vaguely bluer shadow among the clouds, there?Directly over Yanzi's head, about an inch up?

Bayi asks if they can borrow horses and visit this Cave of Eyes. Yangpi says there's an evil dragon there, and they'll never come back. We cannot ignore that they were rude to him and basically acted like he was some idiot guy for believing in this story when "really" all this Dragon death talk is based on superstition.  
Then Yangpi reminisces about 30 years ago when the Japanese were there. He followed their cars on horseback. And then, he watched them from a cliff (this is how the show shows it) because memory is hazy, I guess. He, too, has super vision. The Japanese get some people off trucks. One of them, a man in black, seems to be of interest since the camera focuses on him. The Japanese are bullying him, he seems offended, (and also possibly not understanding what they are saying) and then the storm starts! At least the storm never ceases to look cool.
Oh yes, this was GREAT. 
Beautiful. I keep thinking of my favorite scenes from the Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston.
I thought he looked confused and was certain that he had no idea what they were telling him to do. I think the only things I've seen Charlton Heston in were Ben Hur and The Omega Man.  One of those holds up way better than the other, by the way.

 

A sensible sidekick tells the Japanese troop leader they should go. He keeps watching the storm instead, and, despite being visibly scared, says, "We're the Great Japanese Warriors!". I like how the man in black looks at the Japanese leader like he's an idiot.
I always wonder how the actors feel when they're playing evil Japanese idiots. 
I always wonder how they feel having to say such cheesy lines while knowing such lines won't actually have any effect on the plot.
I assume they're mentally counting their bank balance.  Just close your eyes and think of RMB.

And that storm is downright apocalyptic! There's multiple tornadoes, and yet, and this was funny, that dumb troop leader stood there, stomach stuck out, declaring he will not surrender.
So stupid, show. 
Everyone else blows away but he's such a swelled head he holds his own against the storm, somehow.

For some reason, Yangpi on the cliff above is completely unaffected by the storm. He just prays to the Grassland God (which is why I thought he was okay)while his horse runs away. Back to the present where he says he hates himself, but he couldn't save his brother (probably the man in black - very probably). And he never found the Cave of Eyes. The boys say to him that he probably saw a python and not a dragon.  So, he thought the storm was a dragon, and they thought he just saw a big snake. Fatty and Bayi discuss how it's important not to be superstitious.
Cultural revolution.
What the heck was this about? I didn't understand what was going on here at all. Did they not hear his story? Why would they assume, considering what they just saw with their own eyes, and what he describes--multiple funnel clouds, winds strong enough to blow away trucks and troops--that a python might have been responsible? Guys, you don't need to believe that he saw a dragon, but your python answer doesn't make any better sense.
We can't even blame this on poor translation, I fear.

Oh, look, Qioashan and Huamei! They just casually stroll up. They know there's a train. Because everyone knew about the train except Bayi and Fatty who, apparently, spent most of their village time figuring out how to get candy.Yes, Yangpi and Qiaoshan know each other as suspected, and Yangpi is pretending not to know Qiaoshan. Okay, the scene where the two unwashed old men face off in their Ikea rugs is also funny.
Nothing about this show is in the least funny to me. Where are the weasels? Hiding underneath the rugs? 
I, at least, found their standoff interesting. There was more tension between them than we've had between any other characters in this show. I am now far more interested in their back story that anything about Bayi's history or ancestors.
Perhaps once, years ago, in a camp under a bright moon, two much younger men were friendlier than they are now.

Qiaoshan is mad at being ignored. Then, Bayi asks Huamei why she didn't tell him she was coming here and Ding notices, and Huamei makes that face she makes which indicates she likes Bayi, I think. Not entirely sure with her. Yanzi doesn't stand a chance, so I'll just say this is our love triangle.
Nothing about this makes sense to me. Why should I be interested in seeing two pretty cool women fawn over this stupid man?  
Yup. 
That is definitely Huamei's 'I like you, dumbass' face.

Back to the old men. Yangpi says he thought Qiaoshan had died (doing what? He was the black clad Jap guide). Qiaoshan says he's too tough for that, whatever it was. Qioashan asks why Yangpi never wrote to their bros he was alive. Yangpi says they all died. And Qiaoshan asks how *he* died. He? Yangpi says to let bygones be bygones. Qiaoshan says no. Yangpi says it's fate and tries to storm off, but Qiaoshan counters that it's also fate that he's there. Yangpi grabs his gun. It's a Grandpa Fight!
Yipee. Still, ironically, they are the only two men in this show that I don't want to die.
I want everyone involved with this show to die.

Oh noes, the Scoobies stopped the Grandpa Fight. They are so boring. Anyway, it's decided Qiaoshan and Huamei are staying. And Bayi smiles at Huamei, who looks a bit tired and bored.
Anemic. 
I'd look like that, too, if I traveled all this way and Bayi kept looking at me like a lunatic. You try not to give any encouragement to lunatics.
I wonder if hat size equates to anything else.

The boys go off to pee. Because we haven't haven't had a urination scene in awhile.  My exact thought:  oh hey, they haven't peed in a long time! I skipped this part. So, next Bayi is looking at his split trousers. He's in long underwear, which Ding is embarrassed to see as she bursts into the tent. It's long blue trousers too. I didn't even notice it was underwear? I thought it was track pants until the show let me know otherwise. She sits to fix his trousers - must be true love - and reminisce, I think because I didn't pay close attention. They're flirting, that's for sure.
She's in love. You skipped the peeing part and missed that Fatty declared an interest in her. 
You missed how Bayi admits that she was tougher than most of the guys in their class, so he's surprised that she knows how to sew. Pfft. Also, the most important thing here to me is that Bayi tries to ask her how she feels about changing from being friends to being more because Fatty had asked him to ask her. I actually felt a bit badly for her here because she assumes that he is talking about himself when he's really talking about Fatty. He can't clarify because  . . .

Oh, Huamei shows up. This is bad because Bayi doesn't have his trousers and is only in long underwear. That hides everything except for the fact that his legs are super skinny. 
Ding hides in some cupboard. Huamei comes in. She thinks Bayi was napping since he's under a blanket. She disapproves of napping. Because it's in the middle of the day. She pointedly wonders about that (lazy bum--no one naps in the middle of the day on a ranch). He flirts with her too. She tells him to mind his own business, to have his fun and leave.
She's so boring, this woman. 
That's interesting that you think she is boring. I think she is just bored.
Half the time she looks and acts like she barely qualifies as an imbecile.

Oh, Yanzi shows up. Huamei runs into the same cupboard as Ding. Yanzi, with her usual practical insight that the rest don't have, notes that something is up between Qioashan and Yangpi. Huamei and Ding just look at each other in the cupboard. And Yanzi says she doesn't want to see Fatty after that day they literally just slept together. To his credit, Bayi does try to keep everyone from revealing too much because he knows that there are people listening in the cupboard.And Fatty shows up. And Yanzi hides in the same cupboard as the other girls. Fatty asks if Bayi told Ding about taking things to another level. In the cupboard, Yanzi looks askance at Ding, who is all, "no, no, no!"
I think this is supposed to be comical.
It was too embarrassing and annoying to be comical. Especially since all of those women are better than the two men who are discussing them.
To be fair, it's really only one man.  Bayi tries to stop Fatty but then realizes he's just going to keep going.

Bayi says Ding didn't say anything about dating Fatty, and Yanzi is totally amused by this in the cupboard. She even repeats the word, "nothing" to Huamei, but Huamei just looks glum. Right, so Yanzi is totally saving this scene.
She's the best. 
I love her.
Sorry, I'm done with the humans.  I'm on weasel watch.

Fatty declares his love for Ding and that he will get over it. Bayi says there are loads of girls, and somehow gets into describing how pretty Huamei is. Fatty says, yes, but the long face.
And Huamei gets up to bust out but... CUT! and yawn. 

Comments:

I thought this episode would never end.
Dud. 
Not even the swirling clouds or the grandpa showdown could save it.
Weasel Watch: Episode 10 was a complete bust.